Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage, Third Edition
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The classic on sex in Christian marriage, now updated and expanded. The most medically accurate description of sexual function in the male and female available today. This material is presented in wholesome terms that would be of help to any married or soon-to-be married couple.
I wouldn't if I were you... Gosh, so this has survived to go into further editions, has it?
I hope they've dropped the authors' pro-male dominance & female submissiveness rants (this translates as "every time he wants sex, you let him have it, and don't worry your pretty little head about it because it's what the baby Jesus wants you to do") which were actively disowned by the UK publishers.
80 complete on a 1-100 scale After listening to Ed Wheat's tapes for newlyweds and then reading this book with my new wife we have found many useful things to apply to our marriage and sex life. We have however found several severe errors in his teachings. Dr. Wheat takes a very mechanical approach to sexual pleasure in marriage especially for the woman. Even as another man I can see it is too obvious that his very logical and systematic approach to sex is flawed. It is not as simple as if you do step 1, 2, and 3 then orgasm will occur. The female body AND mind are much more complex than this! He also goes into such detail in areas which do not apply (PAP smear?) to the general reader, and fails to mention that there are some very common physical problems many women experience which prevents sexual intercourse on the wedding night - often requiring minor surgery.
We found Dr. Wheat's book VERY useful, however it did fall short of giving couples a complete and realistic picture of sex in the Christian marriage. It is definitely worth the money and a book to review many times over the years; however, it should be read with a very open mind and not taken as being the only way for things to be....more info
Brilliant This book was a wedding gift and very obviously one of our better gifts - a must for any Christian marriage or anyone who doesn't really know everything they needed to know....more info
All couples should read this book... this book is good for couples married for 20 years or just starting the journy....more info
Warning for practicing Catholics!! If you are a practicing Catholic, and are thinking of buying this book, you should know it promotes birth control, many forms of which cause aboritions. I am returning the book for this reason....more info
Not for Engaged Couples As an engaged man, I found this book to be lacking in many ways, particularly when compared to LaHaye's "The Act of Marriage" which is, frankly, the gold standard on the topic. I felt Wheat's book lacked the practical details and substantial insights when compared to LaHaye. Rather than focusing on the act of sex, Wheat devoted a lot of time to the psycho-social issues surrounding the lack of sexual satisfaction within Christendom vs. the practical things that can be done to increase such satisfaction. This book is also, at times, clearly focused on non-Christians or those unsure about their personal faith in Christ. If you're unsure about what God says about sex, marriage, and companionship, this might not be a bad book to read in conjuction with "The Sacred Marriage" -- the other gold standard on marraige. However, if you're secure in your faith in Christ, this book will come off a somewhat rudimentary and a little preachy.
Bottom line: as an enagaged man looking for practical insights secure in his faith/identity in Christ, this book was of little help to me -- hence my lackluster review....more info
Very Helpful My fianc®¶ and I are reading this book together before we get married. It has been very helpful to both of us, we wanted a Christian based book on God's design for sex in marriage. We also wanted input on what to expect the wedding night to be like since we're virgins, it has a wonderful chapter that talks directly to engaged/newly weds about that first night. We would highly recommend this book to other couples who want a biblical view of sex in marriage. ...more info
Very good but not perfect ... here's my review:
Intended for Pleasure gives a lot of good, basic, explicit advice on both a marital sexual relationship, and the technique of lovemaking itself. It avoids couching the facts in poetic language which is one of its strengths. It also does a good job of addressing myths and wrongheaded attitudes which need to be dispelled. I know that it motivated me to do some self examination of my character. I realized that I had a lot of unhelpful pride that I needed to let go before my wedding night.
The main weakness of the book is that the author sometimes fails to fully explain some of the actions he refers to. It's kind of like a Julia Child cookbook where she refers to a complex procedure without ever explaining what it is. In a book like this it's a good idea to be completely descriptive at all times. Once something has been explained, then you can refer to it by a general reference.
The illustrations are only marginally helpful. I'm not advocating the inclusion of Hustler type photographs, but something more detailed than line drawings would be more educational.
The author also sometimes gets badly sidetracked. For example, he includes the procedure for doing a pap smear in the basic anatomy section. What on Earth would a reader of this book want with that information? I suspect he let his fascination with medicine interefere with his purpose in writing this book.
All of that being said, however, this is overall a very good book on the subject. I would recommend it to any Christian couple who is going to be married within a month or so....more info
Very Disappointing I am so disappointed in this book I'm going to try and return it. I purchased this book because it was written by an M.D. and I assumed that he would have sufficient knowledge to use medical terms correctly and thoroughly. I myself am in the medical field and was shocked to find there were so many medical terms that were either misused or not even mentioned that could have added another depth to this mediocre book. Not once was the term G-spot mentioned in this whole novel according to Dr. Wheat the only way to bring a woman to orgasm is from clitoral stimulation. Which is a crock many women have G-spot orgasms during intercourse, but according to Dr. Wheat intercourse is not pleasurable to the wife only to the husband and he should "manually stimulate her" after his own orgasm. Also it was stressed that exploration was desirable in marriage but yet there was no mention of oral sex either. I realize there are people that are totally turned off by the thought of that but in a marriage oral sex can be a great form of foreplay to the wife and husband as it increases the intimacy level between them. Lastly on the things that were mentioned that were not current with today's medical standards is the squeeze technique for premature ejaculation. That is being discredited in medical literature of today because of the damage/pain that it can cause the penis if done for extended periods of time or by someone who doesn't know the proper way to do it. The way it was explained in the novel is not sufficient enough for someone with no medical knowledge to perform this on her husband without sufficient risk to his reproductive health and ego. Save your money and find another novel about sex in a Christian marriage that does a better job of explaining sexuality as it pertains to orgasm of women and ways to prevent premature ejaculation....more info
Getting married? Already married? You need this. This book is very cool, easy to read, and is a life saver. Especially if you have never made love, and you are getting married, it respectfully gives you an overview and important tips to make your first ime with your spouse memorable. It respects the sanctity of marriage, and values love and respect within your marriage. And it also talks about sex not only for young people, but for older adults as well. God will bless you through this book! Buy it here cuz they have it cheaper than where I got it! ;)...more info
sex in marriage An excellent book from a Christian perspective on the "how to's" of sex. Specific enough to be extremely helpful without being innapropriate. Excellent read for a couple about to get married who have kept themselves pure till marriage. Also good for couples who have been married but are unfulfilled in their sex lives and looking for help....more info
Well Written, and Very Informative! This is the best book I have ever read in regards to marital love and sex. Ed and Gay Wheat have taken and educated, "no-hype", direct approach to married sexual fulfilment. This is not a book for those seeking anything other then satisfied, commited sexual fulfillment. I encourage every couple to purchase this book before marriage and this would certainly be a great shower gift before the wedding. Parent's this is a wonderful book to help explain all the things you were uncomfortable telling your children all along....more info
Sex isn't for the weak... In a world where the majority of couples are divorced after only 5 years of marriage, maybe it's time to go against the grain of the male-female territory war and try sex the way it was intended. This book gives you every reason to explore your sexuality with the one person you care about most. Those of you who can't open your minds to new ways of thought about understanding your mate; beware, this book encourages you to explore what MAKING love is all about....more info
Very Helpful This book is very practical and useful. It addresses issues head-on in a no non-sense manner....more info
A book that any Christian married couple should have A very good book that any newly married or even been married Christian couple should have. It has some very good information on what to expect as well as possible problems a couple may encounter.
Overall the book is a great resource, but sometimes is a bit too 'basic' for the newest generation (under 30) of married people. ...more info
Great book on sex for the Christian! I recently bought this book for my fiance and I to read before we get married. It has been very helpful in explaining the sexual relation for the Christian. The book covers sex in a very clear and understandable way without being lewd or crass. Some forms of sexual expression between a husband and wife are not addressed very much. Over all it is a very good book. ...more info
Recommend to couples going to be married This book was for my daughter, 26, and her fiancee, 28, who are going to be married this Sept. It was recommended by the pastor who taught their 9-week premarital class at their church, Mars Hill, in Seattle. I have heard this was a good book before this time anyway. It is concise, well-written, easy to read, and I highly recommend it to young (and old) couples. My daughter is pretty innocent and this book makes it clear but not unappealing. Has parts on birth control as well. If you want a book that both presents sex well and from the Christian perspective (within marriage), this is the book for you. I also liked it that it did not have pictures, which I think make a book a little less appealing and prurient. ...more info
excellent book!!!! I bought this book and "Intimate Issues" at the reccomendation of a female friend who said that she wished someone had told her about them before she got married.
When I recieved the books I immediately dove into this one, it's an easy read, seperated into chapters so that you can read what intrests you. Technique, STD's, dysfunction, God's purpose for sex, etc. etc. it's not like the stereotypical Christian sex book... Ed Wheat gives the reader a good idea of how exciting and fulfilling sex can be in marriage. There's also a chapter on the honeymoon night and having sex for the fisrt time.
This book is esspecially helpful for men who might feel they can't sexually satisfy their wife, there is an extensive section on a "cure" method for pre-ejaculation and also a section on teaching him the intricacies of a woman's body and how to last longer so that he can please her. Ed feels very strongly that it is a man's job to please his wife... I was happy when my finace borrowed this book from me and claimed he had read the whole thing!...more info
dissapointed A dear friend recommended this book to us. Upon receipt I immediately turned to the section on pregnancy and birth control as I am an avid supporter of the protection of the unborn babies in our world. I was HORRIBLY dissapointed at the presentaiton of the material in this section. This is supposed to be a 'Christian' book yet they used terms like 'fertilized egg' instead of baby to explain the way that birth control pills can prevent the implantation of a baby into the womans womb. They even say that if that occured it wouldn't be an abortion of a baby. Any basic sex ed class teaches that fertilization occurs BEFORE the egg reaches the womb; actually occuring in the fallopian tubes. Needless to say I CANNOT recommend this book for any person seeking Biblical teaching on planning a family. "Children are a reward from the Lord" and "Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them" Psalms ...more info
Good book Sex is a very important part of marriage and it is very important for both people to be comfortable and to enjoy it. This book provides all the info a newly married couple needs. I really liked the section on sex tips for trying to concieve. This was very helpful and aided us in getting pregnant. ...more info
Natural vs Unnatural I see that some people were helped by this book. I would not recommend this book for someone who has not experienced sex. The advice to virgins was disgusting. The writers say that the sexual act is not natural and that people need help enjoying it. The writer also suggests techniques of preparation for the virgin the month before that most assuredly would either lead to depending on yourself for fulfillment or it would train a young lady to not be responsive. I thought the book was sick. It turns women into an object of function. It also talks about men being 100% head of the household and women being 100% submissive. The authors are a husband and wife but I can't hear a woman's voice anywhere in this book. The cover is pretty so she probably had something to do with that. I'm sure she submitted completely to him in the writing of this book and that is why it is completely clinical and even crude....more info
Intended for Pleasure by Dr. Ed Wheat This book was very informative about sexual relationships within Christian marriages. It helped me understand some things about men that I had never known. It is a great tool to use for the teenage sex talk and why it is important to wait for marriage both physically and psychologically. In addition, the book discusses ways to make sure that both partners within the marriage enjoy fulfilling sex in the delicate manner so as not to be offensive. It encourages Christians that the act of making love to your spouse is one that God came up with and that it is meant to be a thrilling experience to both husband and wife. Finally, the book talks about things that may prevent a couple from having a healthy fulfilling sexual marriage and how to solve the problem(s) that the they are having through practice techniques, medicine, or counseling with a pastor. ...more info
Excellent Book, with one exception...in our opinion. Good book, especially for the Newlywed couple who has waited for marriage.
Good, frank, practical advice and helpful information in general for both parties.
My wife and I felt that Gaye's chapter on "the perfect wife" seemed a bit out of place, and disagreed with her sort of "do whatever you can to please your man" kind of attitude. We take it a little more mutually than her chapter seemed to imply. And it didn't seem in line with Ed's views on everything, so it was a tad confusing.
As a whole, though. I highly recommend the book, with that single disclaimer....more info
For more information "Intended for Pleasure" is a pretty good resource for engaged Christian couples, but it is a little technical/mechanical and dry. I'd recommend "Sheet Music" by Kevin Leman first and then try this one if you want more study....more info
Good Preparation Our Pastor had us purchase this book about midway through our marriage counseling, in preparation for the wedding night.
It supplied much good information that saved us some problems and allowed us to be better prepared for details as they came up.
Dr. Wheat can be a bit dry at times but he is complete in his presentation. There is much help in this book for all kinds of things. And better yet from someone with a Christian perspective....more info
Christians Have Sex Too - And I Love Sex!!! Wow!!!! A Great book on giving your wife the climax of a life time (in a pure way, of course). After reading this book, we let it loose, never feel guilty about it, and we have grown a lot. And boy, is she a sexual dynamite : o Read this book and have fun, in or out of bed, like the hall way, the car, the computer desk, uh I, mnb m got to go. Thinking about this book makes me want my wife....more info
Sooooo Helpful! Intended for Pleasure explains it all without offense or timidity. My husband and I benefitted greatly (and still do).More interestingly, we gained so much understanding and pleasure in our sex life after reading that we started to loan our 2 copies out. The interesting thing is that we never get them back! I am online today to refurbish our stock. Very worthwhile....more info
It would have been great... if my wife would have read it or received it with an open mind. ...more info
Too clinical, yet not enough information This was the first book I read for help on marital intimacy. It was a wedding gift from a friend that meant well. I read all of it, and found only the most basic info of it helpful in any meaningful way. My husband read the first few chapters, and was so turned OFF by what it said that he stopped there, and I can't blame him. Clinical, humorless, and not at all relatable, not to mention all the issues, techniques, etc that was not even addressed by the authors. I gave my copy away.
I've since read many, many other books, and can highly recommend "Sheet Music" (for both genders) by Kevin Leman, "The Sexually Confident Wife" by Shannon Ethridge for women, and "Sex, Romance, and the Glory Of God" for men by C.J. Mahaney. ...more info
Provides Advice for Christians Provides an excellent introduction to the origins of sexual relationships for Christians. However, my wife thinks it is written primarly for men. Methods and techniques are fair but leaves out some issues in modern times. ...more info