The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict

 
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Product Description

Conflict-resolution expert Ken Sande shows you how to help permenantly resolve disputes in your church. He takes you and your church members beyond quick fixes to true, life-changing reconciliation with family members, coworkers, and fellow believers.

Customer Reviews:

  • Good practical advice, caution with the religious discussions.
    Ken Sande is an engineer, attorney and conciliator. This book provides practical advice for reconciliation between parties who are in conflict. Most of the advice consists of basic communication skills such as listen to the other person, agree in areas that you can, try to understand from the other person's perspective, etc.

    He also follows the Biblical steps for resolution of conflict such as overlook minor conflict, go to the other person directly, get one or two others to go along and finally tell it to the church. His points on overlooking conflict are very good and this is not something that is taught frequently, if at all, in many churches today. The methodology for mediation and arbitration can be helpful and Sande especially touches on ethical responsibilities to avoid exposure to liability.

    Born-again Christians will probably have some difficulty with the theology in the book. Sande is a lawyer, not a theologian. His definition of Christianity seems very broad. He quotes Justice Anthony Scalia, a member of the Roman Catholic church, as an authoritative figure on the role of Christianity and conflict/litigation. At times, it seems Sande views anyone associated with a church as a Christian. Perhaps he is intentionally broad in order to make the book accessible to as many people as possible. He does not seem to believe that conversion brings about a change in a person in that "If any man be in Christ he is a new creature. Old things are passed away, behold all things are become new." There is no discussion of the influence and power of the Holy Spirit to make Christian fruit including peaceableness which is not something we try to do in our own strength.

    In addition, Sande does not seem to see a change from the Old Testament to the New Testament. Thus, when dealing with many issues such as litigation, he relies heavily on O.T. scriptures. He ends up with the view that Christians can and should sue one another in certain circumstances and thus sees some scriptural commands as more of a suggestion than a command. He does state that the church should be involved in a conflict between Christians before litigation occurs and that appropriate discipline may be necessary but does not specifically address excommunication from the church. He also does not address the scriptural requirement that if someone acts in an evil way, we are not to resist him or her but are required to go further and bless him or her.

    All in all, the practical advice is very good. I think you just have to sort through the religious discussions carefully and, of course, test everything against scripture....more info
  • Excellent
    Next to the Bible, this is the most influential book I've ever read! If you apply what's written, you will be transformed...more info
  • The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict
    This book is a classic and should be a must read for church leadership....more info
  • Peacemaker
    This book takes a good biblical look at how to resolve conflict at home and in the church....more info
  • Life-changing!
    The principles in The Peacemaker are life-changing, biblical and even, dare I say, counter-cultural in their approach to conflict resolution. I read the companion book, Peacemaking Women, last year and it changed my life and my marriage. My husband noticed the change in my responses when we had a conflict and now he is leading a class on The Peacemaker at our church! Every week, people approach him and share their own Peacemaking stories. The approach is not complicated, but profound and centered in the gospel. It uncovers the underlying causes of conflict and suggests principles of conflict resolution in which everyone wins and God is glorified. I recommend the study of this book in every church or parachurch, especially to those in leadership roles. Pastors are trained in preaching and teaching, but often untrained in one of the most common and destructive occurances in the church--conflict. Most church members are peace-loving, but have no idea how to become what Jesus mentions in the beatitude that says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall inherit the earth." The book explains the difference between "peace-fakers", peace-breakers" and peacemakers in our response to conflict....more info
  • How Christians Should Handle Conflict
    This God-centered book will help you confront your own issues while you learn how to handle conflict the way God would want you to.
    ...more info
  • The Peacemaker
    Excellent Book! As a Christian, I want to work on being a peacemaker the way Christ wants us to be. Ken Sande gives scripture to back up everything he says. I would recommend this book for anyone....more info
  • Best Source for Interpersonal Conflict Resolution
    This is the most practical source available to help individual Christians follow Christ in resolving conflicts. The focus is on individual peacemaking, but the principles are applicable to any context. It is based heavily on scripture, and is full of examples from Sande's experience as an attorney and mediator. Step-by-step guidance is given for conflict assessment, self-examination, confession, confrontation, third-party conciliation, church discipline, reconciliation, forgiveness, and more. The Peacemaker's Checklist in the appendix summarizes the book content into a practical format. Sande is executive director of Peacemaker Ministries. He regularly conciliates business, family, employment, and church disputes and serves as a consultant to church leaders. Ken conducts seminars throughout the United States on biblical conflict resolution....more info
  • A must read for all who breathe
    There is conflict in homes, workplaces,families,schools and yes even among Christians in churches. Biblically based- it holds up an accountability level for all. ...more info
  • The Ultimate Book About Peacemaking and Conflict
    Sande has done a wonderful job compiling and applying the Bible's teaching about peacemaking. As an attorney and solid Christian, Sande holds a realistic view about forgiveness and human nature.

    The book includes endorsements by some of evangelical Christianity's finest, including Jay Adams. Practical, Biblical, in touch with the way things really are, this is the authoritative book about peacemaking....more info

  • Excellent Book
    This book is very helpful. It is a difficult read in that there is much to absorb in every page. Best to read in short spurts and informative for any person dealing with conflict....more info
  • Peacemakers
    Our church has been doing this study on being a Peacemaker. So far it has been a very good study.

    ...more info
  • Great book, great reference
    This book is very helpful to read over when you are not in a conflict and I can only guess how much more you could get out of it if you were in a conflict. This will help you with everything from small conflicts that should be overlooked to something that has torn a family apart.

    Ken Sande uses many applicable Bible verses and a well written summary with questions at the end to make this book a great reference for any conflict. If one carefully reads through this book I don't know how they would be able to continue on in conflict with anyone.

    I would recommend this book to anyone and I think that the world would be in a much better place with a mentality that the Peacemaker instills. If you are hesitant at all about the book you can download the first chapter and read it for yourself on their website www.peacemaker.net...more info
  • PeaceMake
    Excellent guide to Biblical principles for conflict resolution and personal relationship enhancement.

    I gave this book as a Christmas gift...more info
  • Great teaching
    This is excellent teaching with real tools to work at peacemaking and conflict resolution. Solid Biblical basis. I highly recommend this book and the teaching....more info
  • Helpful
    We are finishing this book as a couple. It has several points that should help us resolve some issues....more info
  • The PeaceMaker by Ken Sande
    Outstanding, Biblically sound advice - practical and doable according to our willingness to submit to God's authority and His loving wisdom. Very well organized - easy to read (don't forget to read all scripture!)...more info
  • Very practical and biblically based guide on conflict
    This book was written by a Christian who is also a lawyer with insight into human nature -- ie his christian worldview strongly informs his understanding of psychology rather than vice versa.

    The book is littered with biblical references, perhaps 10 per page, and when you go to look them up you find that they are not trite or the 'standard christian answer' but that they add insight to the problem. I never knew the bible had so much to say about the issue. Rather than acting as out-of-context prooftexts for a pet theory, the conclusions clearly follow from the text.

    Though his modern day examples generally involve large conflicts on the verge of a lawsuit (the clients the author takes on), there is much which applies to lesser conflicts at work, with family, or, in my case, during the first year of marriage....more info

  • Peacemakers
    Our church has been doing this study on being a Peacemaker. So far it has been a very good study.

    ...more info
  • The Peacemaker
    The Peacemaker is an excellent book. I was asked to read it for work, and half way through I bought my own copy. The peacemaker takes a systematic approach to handling conflicts biblically, it's not about winning or losing, but doing it God's way and working through conflicts. It's a keeper!

    Doc.
    ...more info
  • Life-changing!
    The principles in The Peacemaker are life-changing, biblical and even, dare I say, counter-cultural in their approach to conflict resolution. I read the companion book, Peacemaking Women, last year and it changed my life and my marriage. My husband noticed the change in my responses when we had a conflict and now he is leading a class on The Peacemaker at our church! Every week, people approach him and share their own Peacemaking stories. The approach is not complicated, but profound and centered in the gospel. It uncovers the underlying causes of conflict and suggests principles of conflict resolution in which everyone wins and God is glorified. I recommend the study of this book in every church or parachurch, especially to those in leadership roles. Pastors are trained in preaching and teaching, but often untrained in one of the most common and destructive occurances in the church--conflict. Most church members are peace-loving, but have no idea how to become what Jesus mentions in the beatitude that says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall inherit the earth." The book explains the difference between "peace-fakers", peace-breakers" and peacemakers in our response to conflict....more info
  • it was good but...
    great info but not what I was looking for. I needed info for my family and this is more for large groups like churches and not families....more info
  • The Peace Maker By Ken Sande
    I have been attending a bible study at my church which is based on the book, The Peace Maker by Ken Sande. I was so impressed with the book and with the study that I ordered a copy of the book for each of my three adult children. The book is well-written and is an "easy" read. I only wish I could have had access to the book thirty or forty years ago! Any adult could benefit from the reading and study of this excellent book....more info
  • A Refreshing Exposition on God's View of Resolving Conflict
    This book is truly a masterful expositional work. Ken Sande explains the ministry of reconciliation all believers have been given (II Corinthians 5:18 ) in such a way that the reader comes away with a feeling of empowerment to use scripture as a guide for the everyday problems encountered by a believer. Ken Sande's work in The Peacemaker truly can change the way that a believer views conflict and even God's word.

    The truth contained in Sande's work is such as can only come from a faithful reading and exposition of the word of God. A resource manual so full of scripture, it as if Sande is saying to the reader, "this is not my idea, it comes from the word of God." Throughout his book Sande gives the reader citations to God's word and other Godly individuals as those individuals point the reader back to God's word. Such a faithful use of Scripture is what is missing in so many other "Christian" books.

    Sande's book is so different from other such "Christian" books because Sande does not start from an idea and use scripture to support that idea, rather, his entire thesis is: "God's word tells us this is how we must resolve conflict so this is what we should do." This is such a refreshing view of Scripture. God's word is not something we must use to support our creative theses, but rather it is to be used for "teaching, reproof, correction and training in righteousness." (II Timothy 3:16) That is why The Peacemaker is such a powerful work, it is merely an exposition of what God's word says about the "ministry of reconciliation" we have been given.

    The Peacemaker is completely submitted to the sufficiency of Scripture to resolve all of the problems inherent in life. This is the Biblical view of conflict. Sande even discusses complicated Scriptures such as 1 Corinthians 6 and explains, using Scripture, what the verse means and how it applies to believers in their situation.

    Throughout the entire book Sande makes it clear that Peacemaking works in all situations. He makes only one real distinction in types of conflict and the approach to resolve them, the difference of conflict with a believer with an unbeliever. The Peacemaker is very clear to indicate that believers should always seek to glorify God and that the steps of personal conflict resolution are clearly the same in both classes of conflict. Sande makes clear, however, that the expectations of the other party must be lowered when dealing with an unbeliever (the believer must always approach his responsibility in the same way). For instance, it is necessary to confess of your sins and contribution to the conflict; however, when dealing with an unbeliever,forgiveness cannot truly be granted because an unbeliever has never experienced God's forgiveness. Also, one cannot expect a true confession to come from an unbeliever and, if it does, they have probably come to know the Lord and the category of conflict changes.

    The other major difference when dealing with unbelievers is that the "assisted peacemaking" steps are different. An unbeliever is not under the authority of the church; therefore there is not an appeal that can be made to the church. However, Sande makes an interesting observation that the believer must still seek the counsel of his church when appealing to a legal right that is in conflict before turning the unbeliever over to the authority of the state. This is a very important observation, because the Bible gives the church judicial authority over believers. Even though a right may be legal, it may not be biblical and the believer must seek the counsel of his church before proceeding against an unbeliever.

    The Peacemaker leaves the reader feeling empowered to incorporate God's word into even the most common of everyday occurrences - conflict. This opens the door to how God in His word has given his people practical guidance on all aspects of life. This book causes you to view conflict as an opportunity rather than a hindrance. It truly breathes life into the words of James: "[c]ount it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds..." (James 1:2) ...more info
  • Every church should teach a class based on this book
    Ken Sande provides an exciting vision of how God's covenant of peace can extend throughout the Christian community. Moreover, Ken's highly practical advice can help resolve conflicts in every family, church, school, workplace, and government. People who apply Ken's teachings will appreciate more fully why our Lord promises blessings to peacemakers. Every church should consider teaching classes based on Ken's book so that church members everywhere can more actively sow in peace and reap a harvest of righteousness....more info
  • Practical help for conflict resolution
    I have found this book to be an excellent resource in orienting my thinking and understanding of how to resolve conflict in a manner that is honoring to Christ. I can't recommend it highly enough for anyone who is seeking to follow Scriptural guidelines for resolving conflicts with others, whether wrestling with a major pending law suit or dealing with a minor offence....more info
  • Great book, great reference
    This book is very helpful to read over when you are not in a conflict and I can only guess how much more you could get out of it if you were in a conflict. This will help you with everything from small conflicts that should be overlooked to something that has torn a family apart.

    Ken Sande uses many applicable Bible verses and a well written summary with questions at the end to make this book a great reference for any conflict. If one carefully reads through this book I don't know how they would be able to continue on in conflict with anyone.

    I would recommend this book to anyone and I think that the world would be in a much better place with a mentality that the Peacemaker instills. If you are hesitant at all about the book you can download the first chapter and read it for yourself on their website www.peacemaker.net...more info
  • Bible-Saturated Approach to Conflict Resolution
    Ken Sande's The PeaceMaker is a wonderful resource for Christians who are seeking to honor God in their relationships with others. I have never seen a book on relational conflict which is so biblically-grounded. There are several pages in the Scripture index at the back of the book and these texts are not used in a haphazard way but form the foundation of the principles Sande explains in the book. This book is nothing less than a Practical Theology of human relationships.

    The first three chapters of the book are a challenge to glorify God through relationships, looking at relational conflict as a opportunity to testify to God's grace in your life. The key phrase from these chapters is, "Every time you encounter a conflict, you show what you really think of God." (p. 33).

    The next three chapters explore the motivations and unmet needs which often lead to conflict. These chapters encourage the reader to examine himself or herself and his or her role in a given conflict. The best part of this section to me was the "Seven A's of Confession" which outline carefully a God-honoring way toward asking forgiveness of another.

    Chapters 7 through 9 explore how we can help restore others who have sinned against us. These chapters are a call to honesty, grace and humility. The reader is guided toward an approach that emphasizes working hard to understand others so that all issues can be dealt with in an honest and complete way.

    The last three chapters put the principles of the first nine chapters into practice through looking carefully at how to resolve conflict for the benefit of all. Practical examples are scattered throughout the book but have a special place in this last section as we see how the biblical principles of peacemaking work in real life situations.

    If Christians (myself included) took up the principles outlined in this book, the emotional health and spiritual vitality of the church would increase dramatically. But the road of discipleship is hard. It is not for those who are impatient with slow progress.

    A great book....more info
  • Profound, yet profoundly simple...
    A friend recommended this book to me. Whew...it is excellent! It is a very gospel, God-centered book. Many of the points directly confront my sinful attitudes as well as comfort me in the power and work of God. It cuts as well as heals. At the end of each chapter there are questions and a section to journal and "go on record with God." Everyone ought to read this book.

    We had recently had a seminar presented by Peacemaker Ministries. It was basically this book in a condensed format. Extremely edifying and encouraging. You will be blessed by the truths presented in this book.

    Grace,
    --Jeffrey...more info
  • Practical helps for restoring relationships
    PeaceMaker is where the rubber hits the road - it's the link between knowledge about reconciliation and actually achieving it in practice. In my personal experience this book provided the basis that prevented a church split and is in the ongoing process of RESTORING relationships where both/all sides of a conflict were severely hurt. PeaceMaker has practical application to resolving many different types of conflict. I recomend it highly to anyone interested in "fixing" broken relationships! Ken says in his book that understanding how we are responding to conflict is often the first step to resolving that conflict. This is very true!...more info
  • Essential for every pastor
    A veteran pastor recommended this to me. It kept me from being fired as a pastor....more info
  • Excellent book
    A practical Biblical approach to making peace with others. Well written and very helpful. Strongly recommended for anyone who wants to improve their skills in conflict resolution....more info

 

 
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