Parents in our post-modern world tend to be committed to but anxious about their child-rearing responsibilities. They've tried the countless parenting books on the market, but many of these are strident, fear-based books that loving parents instinctively reject, while still searching for direction.
Now Dr. Tim Kimmel, founder of Family Matters ministries, offers a refreshing new look at parenting. Rejecting rigid rules and checklists that don't work, Dr. Kimmel recommends a parenting style that mirrors God's love, reflects His forgiveness, and displaces fear as a motivator for behavior. As we embrace the grace God offers, we begin to give it-creating a solid foundation for growing morally strong and spiritually motivated children.
Releasing in an affordable trade paper edition, this revolutionary book presents a whole new way to nurture a healthy family.
Customer Reviews:
Author of Survival Meditations for Parents of Teens Kids need guidelines. Parents need permission to parent. This book gives us both with the spirit of grace infused within....more info
Grace--Based Parenting In depth insights form of years of counseling experience combine forcefully with helpful illustrations, providing valuable and practical wisdom for every reader who is concerned about his or her family. This book unveils the secret to happy family and home. Each members have the potential to grow spiritually and become firmly established in their walks with God.
Sebastian Seet
Author of "365 Prophetic Promises & Blessings for Your Children"
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Excellent resource for parents This book was a wonderful resource of good, sound and wise parenting for a generation of parents (like me) who struggle to balance all the different distractions and influences around us. It helped me meditate on my own parents (and childhood), my views of other parents and how to be a grace-based parent. Read the book to find out more!...more info
Excellent Read only a chapter (which are long) at a time because Kimmel packs so much info into topics that your brain needs time to put ideas into behaviors you can incorporate into your parenting. A great read!...more info
A book to share with others I bought three copies of this book. One to re-read myself and two to give to friends who have been struggling with trying to maintain a balance between love and discipline. I've read it twice now and honestly don't think that there is a better book on parenting our children the way that God parents us. Tim Kimmel writes straightforwardly and offers hope to those of us who may feel that we've been too rules-oriented and may be missing reaching the hearts of our children. He doesn't advocate a lack of discipline by any means, but he offers a practical way to make our kids accountable for their actions without damaging their spirits in the process. ...more info
rds1 This book is excellent. It is the how-to book on raising your kids as Christians. It is the detail book with his companion book, How to raise kids for true greatness being the big picture. I recommend them both....more info
Inspiring and Practical Most parents, whether Christian or not, want "good" children. Unfortunately, it's easy (and common) to think that "good" fits an appearance, and we can chase values that have little to do with a transformed heart and living faith.
It is easy to follow worldly goals for our children, as activities, friends, and appearance may be most easily measured. However, when we do this, we set a trap for ourselves and our children. We damage their hearts, restrict our relationship and influence with them, and may push them away from the true source of grace.
What should be the greatest gift - and difference - for a child raised in a Christian household?
GRACE. (Grace received, and grace given.)
Tim Kimmel delivers an exceptional view of parenting. He audaciously challenges parents to look into their own hearts, as well as their children. Meanwhile, he never loses sight of the call for believers to live in righteousness.
It is a balance that would trip up many, but this book avoids pushing a personal agenda by diving into - and wisely understanding - scripture.
If your hopes and prayers for your child include a living, growing, vibrant faith, then you must parent with grace. This is not always easy, and doesn't always result in perfect "looking" children. As the book explains, grace is not an absence of boundaries, and requires both discipline and direction.
Only a heart that is transformed can truly give and receive grace, and only grace can transform a heart. This book effectively argues that a grace-filled home will nourish a whole child, and grace-filled parents will introduce a gracious heavenly Father to their children's hearts. For those who want to see love, knowlege and faith grow in their homes, I highly recommend this book....more info
Grace Based Parenting Amazing. I have read a number of parenting books and this one is by far the most helpful, the most hopeful. I have already shared my amazement of this book with my friends and also with other new moms and moms groups. How would anyone parent without this grace based perspective? This book has caused me to reflect on my own childhood as well as clarify the way I would like to raise our children. Kids are all different and we cannot parent them on a basis of fear. I am very grateful for Dr. Tim Kimmel and his willingness to share this hopeful and helpful perspective on parenting. If you are a parent or have ever been a parent, this is a must read....more info
Seeing the big picture I loved this book- a refreshing and biblical way to approach parenting. I really appreciate the way Tim Kimmel points out all the ways God handles us with infinite grace as our heavenly Father and ways to reflect that to our children as well. Highly recommended. ...more info
This is the way everyone should have been raised from the beginning! I initially got this book because the mom's group I had joined was going to be reading it, but they changed their mind right after I bought it. I knew nothing of this book or it's author, but I decided to give it a try since I now owned it. And I am so happy I did.
In reading this book, I discovered how I can love my children and treat them with respect (yes, respect my children!) while giving them the discipline they need to grow up to be loving, respectful adults. I was also able to recognize the mistakes that my parents had made with their parenting style that I hadn't been able to understand before, and how I don't have to repeat that cycle with my own children.
Tim Kimmel describes the loving, graceful way you can (and SHOULD) raise your children in such a way that you will want nothing more than to transform your home into a grace-based one right then and there. He lets you know that raising your children the grace-based way can be simple and very forgiving. That if you make mistakes in the parenting department, you can ask for forgiveness - not only from God, but from your children as well. He begs the question: "Why should you expect your children to respect you if you don't respect them?" He presents the grace-based way so that it naturally makes sense that this IS the way all children should be parented.
This book is packed with sensible, understandable information, but I found it be a very quick read (3 days with a toddler running around!). I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone wanting a way to parent that is different from what we've always been offered....more info
Chill out! This book was excellent in teaching me to chill out and have fun with my kids. I was trying to make them behave by giving them too many rules to live by. This book showed me how to ease up and enjoy them. Take away some of the rules that just brought our family down and have fun while taking the opportunity to teach Gos'd love and grace when their hearts are open to hear it!...more info
Grace Based Parenting As a mother of six children I found this book to be an incredible tool for raising healthy children. It touches on the heart and soul of our purpose here in life: to love God and love people. Our children are some of those people and this book has great insights on how to show unconditional love with the boundaries that children need. I am recommending this book to all my friends. ...more info
Helpful even when you are parenting young adults. Having grown weary reading about all we have done wrong (parenting), I was hesitant to read another parenting book. This book, however, was a breath of fresh air as I was reminded again of God's grace in 'parenting' me (even now). I hope that I will be able to extend His grace while continuing to parent my 'not yet adult' teens and 20-somethings....more info
Great Book. Full of Hope. This is a balanced book - full of grace and discipline. After reading the book through (and applying the principles therein) I have recommended it to friends and family. I read many parenting books (mom of 4 and foster mom) and I put this one in my top 3. Well worth the money to own a copy, to take the time to read it, and the strength to put it into action....more info
Marvelous! In preparation for the arrival of my first child in 1998, I read many Evangelical parenting books. These books sought to encourage new moms like me with moving discussions of the importance of our role. These books also provided practical discipline strategies. But, as a first-time mom, I needed more than ennobling rhetoric and discipline techniques. I sought a comprehensive, Biblically-based framework for parenting that would help me to structure and evaluate my day-to-day interactions with my child. I couldn't find anything that met my needs in any of the many books that I read. Dr. Kimmel's book provides the framework I've been searching for and is an outstanding addition to the Evangelical parenting literature.
I especially appreciated the author's use of Scripture to develop his framework, particularly his analyses of Jesus' interactions with children. Matthew 18:5-6 and 10, for example, provide motivation for Dr. Kimmel's point that children feel significant when they know they have their parents' attention. Mark 9:36-37 underlies Kimmel's argument that children feel secure when they receive affection.
My only regret is that I wasn't aware of this book when it first came out! My only criticism of the book is that it doesn't contain enough practical application material. ...more info
The Best Parenting Resource Besides the Bible I recently read this book after hearing Dr. Kimmel on a radio program. It is absolutely phenomenal. God has been leading me down the path of understanding His grace for some time now. I am a strong advocate of having an intimate, vibrant relationship with Jesus Christ, and I've been looking for ways to apply that grace to my parenting. This book completely reiterates everything I believe about God's grace and how to apply it in the home.
Let me be clear, we do not believe in a home of license - we have strong boundaries. But we don't make our son do things that aren't relevant. We don't force him to be quiet when there is no need to be. We let him be himself, well behaved, of course. I'm so impressed with this book that I've started buying it for young mommies and expecting mommies in my church. I'm blessed with a leadership team that is also committed to God's grace and leading people into a real relationship with Jesus.
This is probably the very best parenting book (other than the Bible) that I've read - and believe me, I've read them all. Dr. Kimmel should be commended for walking where God wants him to walk. More people need to be emphasizing God's grace....more info
Excellent Helpful Read! Grace Based Parenting is a wonderful guide to loving and guiding children as God lovingly wants to guide humanity. I have my clients read this when they feel overwhelmed to be the perfect parent, or believe that there is only one way to parent, or are feeling defeated in their parenting skills. There is "GRACE" for both parents and child. A must read!...more info
Excellent parenting book at any stage Do you wonder how children of Christ-following homes really differ from peers? There are lots of good kids out there - and many of them are not Christian. If appearance and behavior aren't the best measuring sticks for a God-infused life, than what is?
This book is excellent for any stage of parenting. Read it yourself, and get a copy for anyone you want to encourage. It renews the confidence and joy of parenting in faith.
The book gives lots of vivid examples. He explains the difference between a legalistic, rules-based home and homes of true grace (complete with moral boundaries and consequence for sin). He opens his own experiences, as well as others' (both good and bad). He is generous with scripture to give a firm foundation to his writing. He points out the pitfalls and traps that seem so attractive to parents who want the best for their kids. His solutions are not always the easiest or most popular, but he gives us a vision of raising children into authentic, faithful, strong adulthoods.
I found his writing refreshing, and the principles of his book empowering. If you hope your children will grow up transformed beyond surface behavior and appearances, I encourage you to read this book....more info
This book has changed my family This book has literally been escruciating to read. It has exposed the extremes of our style of parenting that we had been using. It caused us to examine the premises upon which we were operating as parents. In being exposed we were forced to say that much of how and why we did things to our children were wrong. The fruit of our style of parenting was bearing ugly fruit that was very painful and destructive. We were losing our son. The Christian boarding school we got him to required this book for us to read and we are so very thankful that we did. It is hard to put into words the emotions that we have gone through as parents; the grief, the guilt; the anger; the deep sadness. Upon reading and discussing the contents of this book, we came to a realization that we were pharisaical parents based upon fear not love and grace. That we had kept things away from our children out of fear that they would turn to "worldly" things. This only caused them to reject us and want it more which caused a huge spiralling out of control mess until our 16 year old was totally out of our control with violence and was tossed out for the sake of the other children. This book caused us to see our wrong and begin to correct it. We now have our son back and are on the road to reconciliation and restoration of our relationship. We have not arrived but we now have a different grace based approach that does not deny Biblical standards and discipline. It is a walk of faith not of formulas because our God desires to have a relationship with us that then we model to our children. It is working!...more info
Grace is... This is not only the best parenting book I have ever read, it has been helpful on many other levels. I was inspired to buy this book by the other reviews on this website, specifically one that noted that this book makes you feel empowered to send your kids to public school, knowing that they/we are to be a Light, instead of hiding in "safe" environments.
This book is geared toward fine-tuning for the Christian parent, and assumes that the reader is starting from a place of belief in the Bible. I was raised in a Christian home but knew that I was lacking something(s) I just couldn't put my finger on. This book hit it right on the head for me. One of the main themes in the book, your child's three driving inner needs, is exactly right.
Besides being a great source for Christian parenting, it helped me find that bridge between being a Christian, and having a Godly attitude toward others. For me, the pivotal sentence in this book is this: "grace is receiving something we don't deserve but desperately need." This realization has allowed me to let go of some hurts that I have struggled with for years. Not only that, but I realized I was holding on to a legalistic view that "I am right," with my five-year-old, instead of setting an EXAMPLE.
This book is well written, funny, and a page-turner, if any parenting book is! I highly recommend this book. ...more info
Helps you sort out what's really important in parenting I think every parent would benefit from reading Kimmel's book. One of the best aspects is his discussion of his own failures with his own children, but also his description of how he recovered from some of his mistakes.
This would be a good book for heavy disciplinarians to read, but I wonder if they would be able to take on board what he says.
A good aspect of the book is his discussion of how often parents base their discipline of their children on ensuring that other parents approve of them! How true!
There are many amusing and provocative anecdotes, which will make you think.
I also recommend H Norman Wright's "How to Talk So your Kids will Listen."
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Love it! It is exactly what I needed. After raising two boys and seeing the after math of our parenting skills, this book hones in on the essence of relationships...Grace. That's the way God parents us. Can we do it any differently? Been there, done that! Tim presents balance; Grace without compromise of godly standards. If you could own one parenting book, I would choose this one! ...more info
Excellent book that I would highly recommend I just finished reading this book and I would highly recommend it. It is directed toward Christian parents but has principles that non-Christian parents can use. My favorite suggestion from his book,which he used in his own family, is the "What's Your Beef?" night.(pages 206-208) To promote respectful candidness in his family, this night allowed his children an opportunity to tell their parents anything that either of them had said or done to hurt them. "The qualification was that they couldn't bring up positions we had taken because of our moral standards(which they might have disagreed with) or consequences that we might have had to bring their way because of things they had done wrong...The key rule for Darcy and me when they shared these things from their hearts was that we were not permitted to defend ourselves...I might have been able to justify my words and actions from my perspective of the facts, but it would have only done harm. The point was, we had hurt them somehow, regardless of the facts."
He also gives an overall matrix that is very useful (what your child's three driving inner needs are and the four basic things you need to do to maintain a grace based environment)and uses many examples from his own family and others.
He also communicates grace for you as a parent, since we all fall short. This book gave me hope and a great start to create a grace based home without compromising moral standards I want to uphold. He does a great job of balancing the two since often we as parents go to either extreme of legalism or anything goes....more info
What a refreshing outlook Tim Kimmel is right - the title of this book made me nervous. Like many others, I was afraid that "graced" parenting equaled license and that I'd be stuck in a parenting nightmare for years. Delightfully, after reading GBP, I am really looking forward to the future years to see how my little ones grow up into their individual selves. This book also made me more confident of NOT home-schooling my children but letting them be lights in the darkness with me and their dad by their side to guide them. Give this book a chance to lighten your hearts that can be weighed down with the enormous task given to parents. It'll be worth it!...more info
It's About Time I've read lots of parenting books but this is the first one that practically explained what parenting with grace looks like. I appreciated Tim Kimmel's candid personal stories and was truly encouraged.
My first thought was, "Where was this book when my kids were little?" I'm just thankful I could pass it along to my daughters. The earlier parents read this book, the better!!...more info
