Parenting With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition)

 
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Product Description

This parenting book shows you how to raise self-confident, motivated children who are ready for the real world. Learn how to parent effectively while teaching your children responsibility, and you'll establish healthy control without anger, threats, nagging, or power struggles. Indexed for easy reference.

Customer Reviews:

  • This book is in line with recent studies
    For the people reviewing this book who think it is cruel to children, or might lead to a drop in self-esteem, I suggest reading a study by a Dr. Dweck. It did a study on praising children, and the gist of the study is that children respond better to being told they are hard workers than being told they're smart. How does this relate to the book? Instead of constantly coddling your child, Love and Logic encourages you to put your confidence in their abilities, implying that you think they can work through their problems. This is great for self-esteem! Taking responsibility for yourself is a huge confidence builder (take it from someone whose mom was still making Dr. appointments for her at 21). Everyone fails. Letting your children make small mistakes ,and believe me, being cold all day because you didn't want to bring your coat is a SMALL mistake, helps them see that they can deal with the consequences of their failures/mistakes, making them more willing to try things. And for those who think Love and Logic doesn't offer good advice about parenting, keep in mind that this is a book about disciplining children. It specifically states in Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood to make sure your children enjoy being with you so that sending them to their rooms seems like a punishment. It also says to set a responsible example and take care of yourself, but that's about the extent of their off-disciplinarian parenting advice. It doesn't make it a bad book, just like you wouldn't consider a history text incomplete for not having math in it. I thought it was a great book and have had much success with it, as has my sister who introduced me to it. I recommend it to anyone I see struggling with their children....more info
  • Parenting with Love
    A wonderful book for parents. I really liked the part about "thinking words" vs. "fighting words" the best. As the author of the Sleepytown Beagle book series for children, I found this book a must have! ~Timothy Glass...more info
  • Loving and Logical Wisdom
    In a counseling office with parents, discipline is an issue that comes up...often. This book is the book on discipline that I recommend the most as a counselor who works with girls of all ages and their parents. A helpful and practical guide!Raising Girls...more info
  • Good read
    While enjoyed this book, I wish I would have bought the one geared more towards the individual ages of my kids. There was a lot of irrelevant information that was given, but over all the system worked wonders on my kids. I would recommend getting one of the others written by the same author, but geared towards the age of kids you have....more info
  • Stops the arguing and lecturing
    My aunt who is a retired teacher recommended this book to help us deal with our 5 year old daughter. My daughter is a very gifted child, but emotionally immature, and had constant tantrums. After reading some of the reviews, I was apprehensive about buying this book, but decided I had to try something different. This book has been wonderful. I don't understand if you use the book correctly how it is dangerous...people take things completely out of context. The book is about teaching your children to make good choices; obviously the choices have to be one's that your child is able to make. For my daughter when she had a tantrum I would say something like...oh ow...looks like someone is cranky, you can be cranky in your bedroom or you can be happy out here. If she continued her tantrum I say, would you like to walk to your room yourself, or would you like me to carry you. I always had to carry her kicking and screaming...anyway at first she would throw huge fits in her room opening and slamming the door, screaming at us. We just ignored it, after awhile the time she spent in her room got shorter and shorter, and much calmer. Now she almost never has tantrums, if she gets cranky I say oh ow, and sometimes she will just go sit in her room for a minute, collect herself and then come back out. The thing with this program is I never argue, I stay in a calm happy mood and she gets no reaction out of me, it is wonderful. Another example was wearing a jacket. My daughter would throw fits when she had to put on a coat, it was awful. One evening after dinner my husband was taking the kids for a walk, it was about 40 degrees she had on a dress with no tights, I began to tell her she needed a coat and socks to go, and she started her usual tantrum, and I decided to follow the book and let her not wear either. I told my husband to go around the block first, when they got to our house she ran in shivering, put on her coat, a hat, scarf and mittens by herself, and has worn them everyday since, without any problems. I know that some parents think this is outrageous letting my daughter be cold, I purposely did this before it is bitter cold, obviously you don't let your child go out in below 0 weather and let them get frost bite, the authors probably assume that people will use their brains. I did notice the newer versions do have a lot of disclaimers on what not to do...they must have read the reviews:)....more info
  • Attention Parents....A MUST READ!!
    This book was wonderful years ago and has since been updated and just as great if not even better!! This is a great book to refer to when a reoccuring problem is going on....Needs to be on everyone's shelf!!...more info
  • These guys know what they're talking about!
    Wow! These techniques actually work! They work well, efficeintly and the first time! Fun IS back in parenting, our girls are happier, more involved and thinking. We're actually getting the girls to sleep, the first time!...more info
  • Sound Advice, Takes Practice, Well Worth It!
    Love and Logic Parenting just makes sense. The Love and Logic parents that I know have the most responsible, well behaved, and self confident children I have met. From a young age children learn about cause and effect, naturally. If they let go of their cup, it falls to the floor and makes a mess. Love and Logic teaches parents to apply those same cause and effect principles to teach their children responsibility. Now that I have children of my own I want my children to learn how to make good choices, and feel great about it!

    What I learned: I can teach my children by example. When I make good choices, I can feel good about myself, and when I make mistakes, I can learn from them. Teaching children how to make choices, and to take ownership of those choices builds self esteem. Set FIRM limits with SAFE, ENFORCEABLE statements. When I give my children an opportunity to make a choice than a command, there are fewer fights. Show EMPATHY for the child, but let them own their choice AND it's consequences. The more Natural, Logical, and CONSISTENT the consequence (GOOD or BAD), the more quickly my children will learn to make good choices.

    The book: The first half of the book discusses the Love and Logic philosophy, in detail with easy to understand techniques. (However, sometimes not easy to implement, especially when we have been doing things differently for a LONG time!) The second half discusses specific situations and how you can apply the Love and Logic techniques in those instances.

    Personal Application: As with ANY parenting book, there are things that I do a little differently. But that's MY choice. It is up to ME to determine what SAFE choices I allow my children to make, and up to ME to determine HOW to enforce their consequences.

    Helping my children develop a positive self esteem, learn to make good choices and be constructive members of society are very important to me. Love and Logic has given me techniques I can use so that I feel GREAT about my efforts!...more info
  • Good Logical Book on Parenting
    As parents it's hard to do the right thing when it comes to discipline, especially when we let emotions direct our decisions. But this book helps us step back and really look at the logical thing to do. I've enjoyed reading it so far. Haben, AL ...more info
  • Giving children choices and empowering them
    This is a must for parents who need help in managing children and their behavior. It illustrates how giving children a choice and allowing them to make a decision is the most effective way in dealing with them and teaching responsibility. I also recommend Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Childif you child is cranky. For older children, I recommend Win-Win Partnerships: Be on the Leading Edge with Synergistic Coachin I have used the process discussed in this book with my kids, wife, and employees. It offers a process on how to coach for change in behavior and ensure accountability. It is also research based. While it is a book geared towards business, it applies to families very well. Three must have books....more info
  • Patronizing and Useless

    The book is useless garbage. It advocates treating your child like an idiot, and children are not stupid, they know when they are being treated like they are stupid and they resent it. While it may seem logical to have children suffer the repercussions of bad choices, in the real world you cannot follow their examples unless you want Child Services at your door to take your children away.

    It fits children into a cookie cutter mold, treating all children like they are the same and from what I've seen at the "Love and Logic" seminar, the adults that follow this are robotic too, adhering to their little "Love and Logic" mantra.

    If anything they take love out of the whole thing and allow children to feel unloved and unsupported. If you follow the teachings of this series, don't be surprised if you wind up with sarcastic, cold, aloof children. That is, if they haven't been taken away from you by CPS for doing what it tells you in this book series.

    There are several books out there that give advice on parenting with both love and logic, but this series does anything but that. ...more info
  • Thanks
    Book arrived in a few days and in great condition as promised. Thanks again 5/09...more info
  • nice shoes
    I bought these for my six year old daughter, she loves them. They're good quality, especially for the money. She really likes them because they're comfortable (and cute)....more info
  • Informative and helpful
    This book was helpful and informative for us. We always need extra help and good ideas, this book offers both. We have seen a change in our child too, as we offer more choices and love to him.
    ...more info
  • no love shown in this book!
    Logical consiquences and occasional spanking (done the right way) are perfectly fine but not to this extent! This takes it way too far! This book is ridiculous! Being sarcastic & showing no compassion for our kids will NOT help them! ...more info
  • Wonderful book for parents
    I would highly recomend this book to anyone that wants help parenting there kids the christian way....more info
  • Love and Logic is the best parenting book around
    I am a 58 yr old retired elem and preschool teacher, Love and Logic books and products and classes are absolutely excellent for both parents and educator. In my MANY years of dealing with children, I have found by far and away, Love and Logic is an excellent source,with real life examples, none of that fancy foo foo parenting advice that doesn't work. This helps one see the logic of a child and how to talk to them so they will behave and enjoy life. I can't speak highly enough of Love and Logic, I wish all parents would use it for the joy it might bring to their lives....more info
  • Helpful
    This book is very helpful. I try and use the suggestions and I notice a difference in my parenting and in my children. The hard part is being consistant! I would recomend this book to every parent. ...more info
  • More Than Practical Parenting Advice
    "Lisa," I said to my friend, "why would I want to reads this book? My daughter is quite grown up." Lisa, a teacher in Florida, had just finished a Love and Logic workshop in Colorado Springs and came by afterward for a couple of days to visit us. She brought Parenting with Love & Logic as a gift to me. "Just read it, you'll see." So, the good friend that I am, I did. I found it to be interesting and, when I applied some of the methods of communication outlined in the book to my granddaughters as well as the adults in my life, I found the results amazing. Yes, at first, I had to push my ego out of the way and had to quit the "but"s and "well"s to get to the point that this book isn't about someone else - what they do or don't do - but rather it is about me and how I communicate.

    We inherit parenting methods from our parents, or whoever our primary caretaker was, and they may not have had the best skills in that area. They may have been "helicopter" or "Drill Sergeant" parents, or may have been absentees. In the context of a healthy, loving relationship, "Love and Logic" parents allow their children to make their own choices, solve their own problems and learn from the consequences (within safe parameters, of course). This method of parenting provides children with skills for coping in the real world and, ultimately, raises responsible children. The key to this is the way in which we communicate.

    After laying out the principles of "Love and Logic," the authors provide "parenting pearls," which are strategies for applying the method to actual situations such as back-seat battles in the car, homework, and keeping bedrooms clean.

    If you're looking for practical parenting advise, this book is a must. The pages are chock full of tips that you can implement right away with children, grandchildren, spouses and even your own parents....more info
  • Would have damaged my child for life - dangerous book
    One of the co-authors of this book (Foster Cline, M.D.) is the psychiatrist whose "attachment therapy" resulted in deaths and torture of children. (See "Advocates for Children in Therapy" at http://www.childrenintherapy.org/.) My child -- now 20 and an honors student adored by family and friends -- had oppositional and destructive behavior with tantrums. My husband and I followed advice similar to that in this book, culminating when our son became suicidal at age 8. At that point my husband and I looked at each other with the simultaneous unspoken thought: "We can't keep treating him this way." We instead relied on our own sense of how far to go. Later, when I read, "The Explosive Child" by Ross Green, I said to myself, "This man has written a book describing how we decided to raise our son!" It was such a relief to read, "The Explosive Child." Our change in approach paid off -- and the medications finally were tweaked correctly, and guess what: his behavior changed overnight from awful to excellent. It wasn't that he didn't WANT to behave like others: it was that he COULDN'T. As soon as the medications allowed him to control his behavior and distorted perceptions, all the good parenting and modeling we had done kicked in immediately. "Love and Logic" is based on the belief that natural consequences are all that's needed -- but if your child has a brain disorder that causes a distorted view of what's happening, the consequences you would have to resort to would be torture.
    It's MUCH MUCH better to understand the disorder and how it is distorting your child's thoughts and perceptions, and get it treated by a board-certified child psychiatrist. Also, read, "The Explosive Child." (By the way, our son has not taken any medications in three years. The medications bought him time to mature enough to be able to make use of cognitive-behavioral techniques to control his anxiety. I also think the medications may have allowed his brain to develop normally so that eventually he didn't need them.) ...more info
  • Not My Favorite
    I have a 5, 7, 9, and 11 year old. All VERY different personalities who need different parenting, which I'm looking for help with. While I totally agree with the primary concept of consequences for your actions, I also agree with alot of what "A Customer" says. I didn't like the tone of the book. I couldn't finish it. I have reviewed and purchased "Pick Up Your Socks..." and "Setting Limits..." I'm hoping it's not quite as "sicky sweet" as this book. (I also liked the idea, in this book, of giving the children choices - do what you're told or go to your room - you decide - I use the choices concept.)...more info
  • FANTASTIC and HELPFUL!!!
    One of the best parenting books I've ever read. I have a friend who has NO control over her children at all. She has three children - a boy,5 - a girl,4 and a brand new baby - about five months old now. She's a really close friend and often calls tired and frustrated from dealing with her kids - but still telling even a close friend you don't think they're a good parent is soooo not the way to go.

    So, I called my mother and said, "Okay, she has GOT to learn some effective parenting skills or she's dead." I asked for advice on how to help her. My mom reccommended this book. I started browsing it to see if I thought it would helpful. I decided it would and bought it. When I got home I kind of started reading it.

    And, I ended up calling my girlfriend and saying, "I am reading the BEST parenting book. My kids are pretty good, but when they push on that line really hard, sometimes I don't know what to do. These techniques are so simple and have honestly been so helpful! I am going to have to get you a copy of this book."

    So, I bought a copy to give her - what? you thought I was going to let go of mine???...more info
  • just OK
    I thought this book was just OK. Much of the information was good and I will use it in our home. However, the examples they used in this book were outrageous. Who in this day and age is going to let their kid off to walk home. Also, allowing a child to determine whether they go to school or not is silly.
    ...more info
  • Great tool!
    Have not completed the book entirely yet, but so far I have been able to implement some of the 'love and logic' techniques with my 18 month old and she is responding positively! It is simple, logical and loving ways to help our children learn and grow. I am excited about the love and logic process! This book will stay on my nightstand and will be referred to frequently....more info
  • Good practical help
    This is a no nonsense approach to keeping your cool while
    helping your kids listen and learn about life. Even though
    it might not work with all kids this book is a must read
    for any parent the earlier you read it the better. ...more info
  • Great Parenting Techniques
    Parenting with Love and Logic has very good information in it to help deal with your children not only when they misbehave, but how to handle them when they do things right, too.
    I love the examples they give. I have actually used a couple of them. I love the "Uh, oh" song! Works great with my 3 year old....more info
  • Wow
    If, after having kids, you want to get some semblance of control back in your life, this is the book for you. You learn how giving up some control not only provides you with what you need, it puts your kids on the road to living healthy, productive lives. By learning the elements of self esteem, a parent can raise a kid who reconizes they have power over their lives and are not victims, take responsibility for their lives, and listen to the voice inside them instead of the roaring voices of their peers. A MUST READ for today's generation....more info
  • Sick authors
    Any author who presents themselves as wanting to help children and then advocates corporal punishment is a sociopath at worst or terribly misguided at best. They should never yield power over someone smaller or weaker than themselves. Maybe the authors need to be physically bullied (ex. spanked) by someone 100+ lbs bigger than them so they can feel what a child feels when some stupid or gullible adult follows their advice. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Parents and caregivers- please think long and hard before you hit the children who are depending on you for love and protection. There are much better ways of discipling children. Learn them....more info
  • Excellent method to teach responsibility
    I have used this method in clinical and educational settings as well as in my own parenting. It works! The child(and parent/teacher) soon learns to problem solve instead of looking for others to solve his/her problem. The information is easily understood and put into practice. I have seen the long term result in my child as an adult. It does require teachers/parents to view children as having the capacity to learn how to problem solve using the resources available to them, and, to resist doing it for them....more info
  • Parenting With Love and Logic
    So far, I have only read the first few chapters and have already received a lot of great information. This book has opened my eyes to different parenting methods and the pros and cons of each. My son is only 11 months old and I have already received great information that I could have used when he was 9 months old. This book is an easy read and it keeps your attention. I look forward to learning more from this book....more info
  • Excellent
    I've read many parenting books but this one is so logical and gives such great examples for specific situations. It is at times difficult to really take that "leap of faith" but the consequences are worth it. My child is learning to take responsibility for his own actions and choices. I have already recommended this book to my friends....more info
  • I can get my son to do things -- and we're both happy
    My son just turned 2 and is at a very independant age. I wanted to write this review because of one that I read about this book. One thing is that no one can go by 1 book and take it as gospel (obviously) but there are a lot of great things that make you stop and reflect with this book. I can honestly say that I can now get my son to wear a jacket and let me change his diaper because I give him choices that still get me what I want. "do you want to wear your blue jacket or your red jacket" he is so consumed with what color he wants to wear that he forgets that he didn't want to wear a jacket in the first place at 55*. As simple as it seems, it works over 90% of the time with my son. I even got my husband on board because he saw the results.
    As for the "spanking" most of this book I did agree with. I will not swat my son on the butt for throwing his food on the floor, but I will if he runs into the street! Not one time in this book does it suggest spanking as a solution to anything.
    It is an easy read and worth every minute....more info
  • Exceeds expectations
    I found that the strategies employed in this book work just as well with my 45 year old spouse as
    with my 6 year old daughter....more info
  • I want my money back!
    Cline and Fay offer some of the most egregious parenting advice I have ever seen. Their take on child-rearing is nothing short of passive aggressive.

    In their chapter on "Fears and Monsters" they provide the following scenario:
    CHILD: "I don't want to go to bed, Mom. I'm afraid I might die tonight."
    MOM: "Thankfully, only one child in ten million will die in his sleep tonight, honey."

    On "Allowances/Money" which the authors recommend starting at 5 or 6 they write:
    "Jim's son, Charlie, learned a powerful lesson in money management the very first week he got on the allowance payroll. Their family visited a carnival, and the midway barkers had their way with the boy. He came home flat broke.

    "Dad, what am I going to do for lunch?" Charlie said when reality struck him on Monday morning.
    "Go over to your pay envelope and get your lunch money out," Jim replied.
    "But it's all gone," Charlie said.
    "Oh, no, that's too bad. What are you going to do?" he said.
    "I don't know," Charlie said. "Can I get some food out of the refrigerator and make a lunch?"
    "Sure, if you can afford to pay for it," Jim said. "Mom and I have already paid for lunches once, and we don't want to pay for them again."
    p. 121


    On "Pacifiers":
    "In our lives, we have seen many ideas come and go: constant cigarette smoking in public places, collecting pet rocks, and the fad of birthing children into a pan of warm water. What do all these things have in common? Through the course of history, many normal human beings didn't engage in these behaviors. One might say that the behaviors simply aren't "normal" responses of the human race. Use of a pacifier in toddlerhood falls into this category." p. 203

    And on preofessional help they say:
    "If you have read this book--taking in the Love Logic philosophy and applying it consistently to your children--and still have big problems, then you need professional. p. 213.

    Frankly, I'm willing to donate the $24.99 (plus shipping!) refund towards recovery groups for all the children who will be damaged by this book....more info
  • get the toddler years version if you have an ornery toddler!
    I read this book first, and thought it was great, but after I read the toddler years version, it changed our lives. I now have both in my home library and refer to them often when I need a refresher course in keeping my cool. I am certain I will refer to this book as my three year old and two month old grow and grow!...more info
  • very helpful - a must have for parents
    Very helpful. If you are a parent, then you should read this book. It has great alternatives to spanking and helps children take responsibility for themselves. We have yet to come near to mastering the tecniques in this book, but they are worth knowing. I wish I would have read this sooner....more info
  • Best Parenting Book Ever!!
    My sister's partner just has the lovliest kids (5, 13 & 15). My own had a habit of being rude to me, ignoring my requests for cooperation around the house and being very ungrateful for all the things they have. I begged her to tell me her secret & she recommended this book. I got it from the library & decided to purchase my own copy within a week. Our home life has changed drastically! I hardly ever yell now. My eldest, 9 yrs old, says he doesn't like the Love & Logic approach - he'd rather I just yell.....

    Helpful tips: Really, this only works if you (the parent) doesn't nag & lecture or go into 'I-told-you-do-so' moralizing, etc.
    GOOD LUCK! ...more info
  • A MUST-HAVE!
    There are not enough good things to say about this book. I have it in conjunction with Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood and contrary to some other reviewers, I love having them both together.

    I can't recommend this parenting technique enough. I have a 2 year old boy and we started using love and logic principles just after his 2nd birthday. What a difference it made in us all!!! Just like the authors say - it puts the fun back in being a parent. We are always getting comments on his calm demeanor and our ability to always be patient.

    If you or someone you know is struggling with a child, toddler to preteen, this book will change the family for the better. It gives you the exact things to say in all kinds of situations, in fact half to book is dedicated to doing just that. This book gives you the tools to restore peace, happiness, hope, order and fun back into your home. I'm so thankful for this book! ...more info
  • Best parenting book my wife and I have found
    This is an excellent book on parenting, the best my wife and I have found. The principles work very well - we wish we had found it earlier. We and our children are much happier after using this book.

    This is very sound parenting. This book teaches you how to raise responsible children who think about the consequences of their actions. It teaches principles and gives you strategies to help your children anticipate the real consequences of their actions - a good thing to learn when you're still a child and "the price tag is still low."

    This book is not the draconian book that some negative reviewers have interpretted it to be. The authors advocate genuine compassion for children who experience realistic consequences to their bad choices. It is true that the principles in this book likely require more work on the part of the parent than other approaches.

    Regarding whether this book advocates corporal punishment - it does not. Page 221 from the 2006 edition:

    "Spankings ... give kids a quick escape from the responsibility of living with a bad choice. Instead of having to live with consequences and think about solutions, youngsters have a brief moment of pain, and then they're off the hook."

    "The original edition of this book advocateded the use of spanking in limited, controlled situations. However, as we have grown in our professions and as more valid research has become available, we have changed our postion. There are many good reasons to avoid the use of spankings...[list follows]."...more info
  • Interesting Approach, Wonder How it Will Work
    This book was recommended to us by the instructor in charge of our Foster Parent Training class. We have yet to try the techniques, since said foster children have yet to materialize.
    I hope I can deliver the lines in this book without sarcasm or reprisal. Here's one: "You're welcome to join us for dinner once you're done mowing the lawn." I think Future Foster Child will just call his social worker and tell her that we refuse to feed him. Perhaps we will modify this one: Regular dinner is served between 6 and 6:30 for those whose chores are complete; certain healthy snacks are available until bedtime.
    Still, the techniques are so perfectly logical that I laughed out loud while reading this book. I love this one:
    Kid won't go to bed without a fuss? Declare that there is no longer a bedtime. Starting at 8pm, grownups get Personal Time. During Personal Time, children are not to be seen or heard. Oh, and wake up time is 6am. It is much easier to wake children up than to make them go to bed. Priceless!!!
    ...more info
  • The perfect parent writes a book.
    I couldn't even finish this book. I found it patronizing and DRY. I couldn't get past how he constantly used himself as the example of what to do "right" and how his son is the reflection of his perfect parenting. Perhaps that wasn't the intent, but that was my perception. ...more info
  • spank your baby in a painful way?
    Please read what this book has to say about spanking:

    "...remember the following rules if you decide you must spank:

    - spank only when your child is under three years of age.
    - spank only if you can do it in a painful way.
    ..."

    I discovered this book when sorting out things to donate. But this one will go right in the trash - no need to pass this kind of 'wisdom' on to other parents.

    Please - there is always a better solution than hitting our children....more info
  • I love this book!
    I started reading this thinking yes that's true, and yes that makes total common sense. I want my child to grow to be a happy responsible individual capable of making good decisions throughout his life. With this book's suggestions, I can totally see the correlation. I loved the idea of making them own their own problem and knowing when it becomes my problem as well. ...more info
  • Simplified Parenting!
    I have not yet finished this book, but am so impressed with everything I have read. And so has my husband, who tends to be a little more sceptical. This book just makes so much sence as to how to let the children make their own decisions, with our guidance, with possible mistakes and consiquences attached. They will learn so much from their mistakes and gain the confidence from the idea of making their own decisions. I would highly recommend this for all parents and I actually have referred many of my friends to this book for help! This book takes so much 'work' and 'stress' out of parenting!...more info
  • Love and Logic .
    A great book to read to help communicate with children. It has stopped the nagging and life is grand in our home....more info
  • do you need it?
    Well, a lot of us do. Kids don't come with a handbook after all. This book has some good insights and some nice ideas, but you have to be a talented reader to glean them out of the author's poor organization. I am glad I have read it, and do use some of the strategies, but it was a poorly written book. Clearly, it would be better to have a conversation with this writer than just read the book, but it would be a really good conversation. Or perhaps a session in his office with your kids. That is where the talent lies. So, try it out if your kids don't take responsibility for their issues. Take notes and jot down ideas. It can help. Good Luck....more info
  • I'm destroying my copy so it won't fall into impressionable hands
    I bought this book because I had seen lots of recommendations on a message board I frequent. I bought a 1990 edition used, so maybe it's been toned down in the edition other people are lauding, but that's no excuse for the garbage inside. Maybe it's "positive" compared to physically punishing your child, but the recommendations are horrible. "No food until you do what I say" is one of the author's favorite all-purpose tactics. But all I should have to quote to give you the idea is this gem about dealing with adolescent crises: "To help us cope, we must always ask ourselves what the worst possible outcome of the crisis would be. Many times we find we are able to deal with that. Not to be flippant about it, but the worst possible outcome - death - is inevitable anyway and can be faced if we are ready to meet our Maker." All in the name of keeping the child's problem on the child, and not you.

    Call me a helicopter parent, but I'm not willing to let my child experience DEATH in the name of learning to be responsible for their own problems. Read "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" (Faber & Mazlish) or "Kids Are Worth It!" (Barbara Coloroso) instead.

    And I'm going to destroy my copy of the book rather than passing it on to charity. Somebody might read it and take it seriously. I don't want to be responsible for that.

    Peace out....more info
  • Fabulous Book
    This book was recommended to me by a newly married woman with stepchildren. I, at the time, was dating a woman with children (none of my own). I was having a difficult time being an 'instant father', and didn't know what to do half the time. I loved this book, and used the information daily. When I am around children now, I still use the information in the book. When I have children of my own, you better believe I'll be re-reading this one. (I also bought this book for my brother)...more info
  • One of the best parenting books
    My family is getting ready to adopt a special needs child and they were told to purchase this book along with the Martian Child movie. We purchased both of these items and they are very good to help in the thought processes behind a special needs child. The book shows a completely different way in bringing up children versus the old fashioned way. We have not finished the book yet but we are darn sure it is going to help....more info
  • bad advice and religious
    This book is useless. I, like another reviewer, elected to recycle my copy, rather than sell it used and risk being responsible for someone actually following the crazy advice in here. The suggestions are unloving, irresponsible and not practical. This is also a Christian book, with a whole chapter about how to get your child to like going to church. The chapter opens by saying that all responsible parents want their child to go to church. This book is weird; don't buy it....more info
  • great book
    Learn how to be a better parent is the greatest gift we can give our children
    A Moment of Peace: Relaxation for Parents AudiobookA Moment of Peace: Relaxation for Children...more info
  • THE best parenting book ever
    All my friend and I SWEAR by this book. This my not be the ONLY book you need, but it surely is one key book you MUST have. Extremely practical - there are actual cases and actual phrases to use, while explaining the philosophy behind the approach. This is the ultimate "how to" book on raising responsible, moral, kind children who understand cause and effect! It also takes the "you vs me" out of it and teaches children that their choices and actions have consequences. As a Christian, it sits well with me. It is especially excellent with defiant or contrary children, and children raise in foster homes or others who have attachment challenges....more info
  • A very unloving and illogical approach to parenting
    As a parent with two happy, positive and productive adult daughters and a certified parent coach with a MSW, I find this parenting approach frightening...and the number of positive reviews makes me anxious about our society's future. The techniques recommended in this book border on emotionally abusive.....a little girl coming home from school to find her dog given away; locking a child in their bedroom/basement; selling your child's possessions so (s)he can pay to have you clean their room; refusing to react (or even comment) when you see your child hit another child. All of these actions definitely do not strike me as loving or logical and although the authors often use the word "empathy" I felt this was one quality their approach seriously lacks. And, after reading one reviewer's reference to Foster Cline's questionable experience running a youth facility in Colorado (where he apparently lost his license), one wonders how he failed to learn from the "consequences" of such a cruel, unloving approach to nurturing our next generation. Please, parents, consider other, much better, parenting books such as "The Highly Spirited Child", "The Explosive Child" and "Parenting from the Heart." When your children are adults and you have a close, loving relationship with them and can look back on wonderful family memories, you will be very glad you did....more info
  • Came highly recommended and llived up to it
    There are a ton of "parenting" books available but this one is helping me a great deal. Good illustrations and easy to read; the logic makes sense and the love is there. ...more info
  • Great Book!!
    Great book! I have really learned some great techniques from this book that are already working. Although I do not agree with everything, the techniques that I have implemented so far seem to be working....more info