What time is it? Midnight? Two a.m.? Are *you* awake because your child is? Noted child psychologist Dr. Jodi Mindell offers simple, practical, and proven methods to give *you* the much-needed rest you deserve. Download this e-book to understand how to help your child sleep, undisturbed and undisturbing, all through the night.
Right after "Is it a boy or a girl?" and "What's his/her name?," the next question people invariably ask new parents is "Are you getting any sleep?" Unfortunately, the answer is usually "Not much." In fact, studies show that approximately 25% of young children experience some type of sleep problem and, as any bleary-eyed parent will attest, it is one of the most difficult challenges of parenting.
Drawing on her ten years of experience in the assessment and treatment of common sleep problems in children, Dr. Jodi A. Mindell now provides tips and techniques, the answers to commonly asked questions, and case studies and quotes from parents who have successfully solved their children's sleep problems.
Unlike other books on the subject, Dr. Mindell also offers practical tips on bedtime, rather than middle-of-the-night-sleep training, and shows how all members of the family can cope with the stresses associated with teaching a child to sleep.
I am finally getting more than 5 hours of sleep!!!! This book is a savior! My daughter was 5 months and not sleeping in her crib and was still getting up in the middle of the night for a bottle. I read this book and it took only one week to get her into her crib and sleeping through the night! The first couple of nights were really hard (she cried for 45 minutes straight! AH-AH), but if you follow the plan described in the book and stick to it, it will work. The book was easy to read and understand, and has information about all kinds of sleep and behavior problems. ...more info
A life saver!!! This book has saved my life. My 4 month old daughter went from sleeping 6 hours straight at 2 months to waking up again throughout the night at 3 months. My husband and I were exhausted. She wouldn't go to sleep on her own and after rocking her and nursing her for what seemed like forever, she would then wake up every hour or two throughout the entire night until we would give up and put her in bed with us. She wouldn't nap either unless in the car or swing. When the motion stopped, she would immediately wake up. She was always tired and cranky! After reading this book we decided to implement the suggestions made by the author. I knew it would be hard at first, but it has been well worth it. The first night she cried for an hour and then woke up only 3 times that night. After the first night she has only cried for 3-5 minutes each night and then goes to sleep easily. She is finally sleeping 6-7 hours straight and is even falling asleep easily and on her own for her naps. We couldn't be happier! The author provides you with the steps to achieve success with your child and gives you alternate suggestions if you feel that you need to modify the steps. I'm sure that I will return to this book if and when I ever have sleep issues again. I definitely recommend this book. I have read two other books and this is by far the best!...more info
Great resource Sleeping Through the Night is a book all new parents should buy. We were having trouble getting my daughter to sleep, but read this book and used the suggestions (see page 100!). We consistently followed the bedtime routine steps and within a few days our 4 month old was going to bed without issue. As predicted by the author within 2 weeks she was sleeping through the night. She also goes back to sleep in the middle of the night and down for naps in her crib MUCH better. My only criticism is that the book could have been edited better, there are parts that are repetitive and it seems choppy. Another great part is that there are many anecdotes which are very pertinent and helpful.
I HIGHLY recommend this gentle, but effective bedtime and sleeping method. Friendly advice... we started on a Thursday so we would have the weekend to work through issues....more info
love it recommend highly!! all 3 kids have been helped by this book and are great sleepers...more info
A Lifesaver This is the best baby book I have read. It is written without being either patronizing or dogmatic (something I can't say about many baby books out there). She provides some real insight about sleep and good advice about handling your baby.
We had major sleep problems with our baby (both going to sleep and staying asleep). Once we read the book and got the basic insight that sleep is a learned behavior it was all downhill from there. I won't lie, the first couple of nights were tough but our baby goes to sleep easily and sleeps throught the night. After two months of three hours of getting our baby to sleep and multiple, shrieking wakings every night we were shot. Three weeks into this method and we were getting 8-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night.
Most importantly, the book has compassion for both parents and their children. Too many baby books fail to recognize that the relationship works both ways, this one does. ...more info
The only sleep book you need Why is this the only sleep book you need? Because it is concise, to-the-point, has specific practical tips, and is BASED ON RESEARCH.
The author is active in both clinical practice and research through a Sleep Disorders Center at a Children's Hospital. This is not her personal opinion or general observations, this is based on research and experience specifically with kids having sleep problems.
We used this book to sleep train our twins at 8 months of age, after rocking them to sleep before that. It worked in 3 days. We have gone back to this book again and again as their naps and schedules have changed over time. The book is always helpful....more info
Children need structure! I was pleasantly surprised to see how much energy the author went to explain how important it is to first SET UP the child to fall asleep. He needs a bedtime routine so that he can understand what is happening, realize it's bed time, and begin to calm himself even while he is with you. I have not yet implemented the "put down awake" method yet, but that's because I'm still working on making a good consistent routine, and establishing positive sleep associations. I also have to note that I've begun to put my daughter down a little more awake than usual, and it now only takes 1-2 minutes to put her down.
I have to respond to the reviews that have said that Mindell says children think vomiting is "fun". Nowhere in her book does she say so. Is it possible for children to make themselves vomit in order to get attention? Yes. I am an early intevention specialist, and I have seen this happen. Obviously, it is disturbing and not a behavior that you want to continue. Behavioral vomiting usually starts with gagging. Kids make themselves gag and see all the attention it gets. Once their gag reflex gets heightened due to all the forced gagging, it's not that difficult to vomit. Her advice about how to respond to it is RIGHT ON. If you give them too much attention about behavioral vomiting, it WILL continue. It may be a disturbing notion for a mother who has never heard of this, but Mindell is wise to give advice for it.
A good book, but a hard process We bought this book on the recommendation of a friend when our son was 4 months old (he is now 33 months old). I first read through the book, and when our son was 5 months old we decided to try it. We were exhausted, not having slept more than 4 hours a night since he was born.
I must say that as a mother, and a first time mother at that, training my child to sleep was a very hard process to go through, but well worth it. The first night our son cried for almost an hour. The second night he screamed (yes, screamed) for nearly two hours. Night three went down to 45 minutes. It took a total of 2 weeks to get him sleeping through the night, but it worked.
I modified Dr. Mindell's approach a bit, because I could only stand 30 seconds to a minute of my son's crying. I eventually was able to get it up to 5 minutes, and by that time he was going to bed without a fuss and falling right to sleep.
He is now a champion sleeper. We recently moved, and he did have some sleep problems, but we went back to our plan of putting him to bed, coming in every 5-10 minutes to reassure him, and leaving. It made it a bit harder because he is in a bed now, but he got the message, and within a week he was back being a champion sleeper.
We gave our copy to a co-worker whose baby wasn't sleeping. We are expecting our second child so we are getting another copy!
Make no mistake. This is a hard process, but in the long run, it is well worth it. Our son is a happy, well rested, well adjusted toddler, who actually looks forward to night time....more info
Gentle CIO, for an anti-CIO mom Our 15 month old has never slept well, ever. He was colicky and had severe reflux (still does). I have read just about every possible sleep book out there, from Dr. Sears "Baby Sleep Book" to Dr. Weissbluth "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" to "The No Cry Sleep Solution". None of the non-CIO methods were working on our willful child, and my life (read marriage, health, work, etc) were beginning to show the effects.
After reading up on Jodi Mindell's qualifications on another website, I realized that this might work. Her book is not the all-or-nothing CIO book. She does it in such slow gentle ways, that you don't feel forced into cold-turkey anxiety. We're on night 5 of the first "phase", and things are going amazingly well. There is some crying involved, and it is really hard, but coming from the perspective of nursing and co-sleeping, I think this is the best book out there if the non-CIO methods don't work for you. She only has you tackle one section at a time (i.e. bedtime, nights and naps), rather than all at once. She also flat out tells you to check on your child as often as you'd like (not in 5, 10, 15 minute blocks), that if you can only wait 30 seconds - that's okay. I loved that. It's a no-pressure approach for the weak hearted.
Dr. Weissbluth's book was way too cold-turkey for me, and I never could have done that. By night 4, my son had gone to sleep after 3 minutes of crying and 10 minutes of sitting in his crib. The first two nights took 2 and 3 hours respectively, but the actually crying involved during those nights was surprisingly little (just took the little guy forever to realize that he needed to SIT DOWN and not hover on the edge of the railing).
Good luck on your sleep problems. There are more of us out there than you realize that have been there too!...more info
It works! THIS BOOK WORKS! I am using her advice for my 2nd son and he is only 2 months old and is sleeping from 11pm to 8am solid. She offers practical solutions to get your child to sleep through the night, such as waking your child between 10:30pm and 11:30pm for a "dream feeding". I also like how she discusses sleep strategies and expectations for each age range, like 0-2 months, 2-12 months, etc. This book is a common-sense, expert approach to sleep. I HIGHLY recommend it! ...more info
The methods in this book worked for us My daughter is 10 1/2 months old and has only just begun to sleep through the night. She's my first and only child so I don't have any experience with this but perhaps she just hit the age when she was ready or perhaps it was the methods I used from this book that helped. Mindell does advocate crying it out but encourages you to check on the baby and reassure the baby as frequently as you need to. I was putting my daughter down very drowsy where she'd start to fall asleep in my arms but wake upon putting her in the crib for many weeks before I started to put her down fully awake. I think this was a very gentle transition and my daughter never cried more than 10 minutes before falling asleep. She still sheds a few tears for a few minutes but then falls fast asleep and we don't hear from her until 11 hours later. It took us over 10 months but this was also a hard transition for me because I think I looked forward to rocking her all sweet and quiet during those dark middle of the night hours.
This method isn't for everyone so if you think crying it out is babaric, then don't get this book. If you're really tired of waking up and need some fresh ideas to help your baby teach him/herself how to get to sleep, then it's definitely worthwhile trying this book....more info
Great info & advice! I'm not sure why people are saying the author of this book is cruel when she is totally not. Although she is not using the "no-cry" solution, she is not suggesting you to use a "cry-until-both-you-&-your-baby-drop" solution, and she is definitely not pointing a gun at your head and tell you to stick with her solution. I really think the author is trying her best to tell you to try her suggestion but PUT IN ANY MODIFICATION THAT SUITS YOUR SITUATION & EMOTION. Almost after every advice, she tells you to modify it.
I didn't finish the book, but it's already working wonders for my baby. The main reason is, I believe, my husband and I both realize and believe when Jodi, the author, talked about sleep association. We think, even us adults will freak out if we fall asleep in the living room but woke up in the park, how can babies not??!! If they fall asleep on mommy's breast, of course they'll cry when they wake up without it.
Therefore, besides sticking to the bedtime routine, we also make sure that our baby is put down "sleepy-awake." She is seeing her mobile when she is put down, and she is definitely still going to see her mobile when she wakes up. The first night was tough, although not that bad according to other stories I've heard. Our baby was crying, and my husband and I took turn to check on her, let her know we were still there, and we did it every 2 minutes. We just couldn't take longer than 2 minutes. After about 5 to 10 minutes, she fell asleep, and she slept for 7 hours. The second night she fussed, not even cry, for roughly 5 minutes, and then slept for 8 hours; the 3rd night, she didn't even fuss, and she slept for 9 hours. Now she even sleeps better during the day.
Our baby is much happier and healthier, and so am I.
I highly recommend this book. Even if you end up not using Jodi's method, I think there's great info in this book. Another thing I want to say is, if you are co-sleeping, and you have no problem doing so, or doing whatever you need to do to let your baby sleep (rocking, nursing, etc), then there's really no need to change that. I also believe that when your baby is ready to give up his/her sleep association, (s)he will grow out of it. We need to do this because of our current situation. As long as everyone is happy and healthy in the family, it really doesn't matter....more info
Great book and ideas My daughter was 13 months, still sleeping in our bed and woke up every night 3 or 4 times a night. I purchased this book and then was watching Super Nanny. I use the method from this book of putting my daughter in her crib and staying in the room and not saying a word to her until she felt safe and fell asleep. Katharine has been sleeping through the night for 3 months, and if she wakes up, she falls back to sleep. She has learned to fall asleep on her own and now has a scheduled bedtime. This book help me and my family out a lot. I recommend it. ...more info
I did not believe it, but this really works!! Our daughter is 4 months old and was waking up every 2-3 hours and it was taking us about 2 hours to put her to sleep every night. We had to walk her and shake a rattle to just get her to relax and then maybe she would fall to sleep. I was so eager to try something to improve her sleeping habits that I read this book in less than 48 hours. My husband and I talked about it and we stuck to what the books says (bedtime routine, putting her to bed at the same time each night, etc.) We waited to try it until one week after she got her 4 month shots and on a day when she was put down for her naps at the appropriate time. The first night, she cried for an hour and only slept for an hour. We did what we normally do (as the books states) to put her back to sleep. The 2nd night, she cried for 20 minutes (which was odd since they are supposed to cry longer the 2nd night) and slept for 5.5 hours just for a feed (she is only breastfed) and went back to sleep for another 4.5 hours. By the 4th night (which is tonight) she went to sleep in less than 12 minutes. My husband and I were in total shock. I am not going to tell you that it was easy. Hearing your child cry is very difficult, but if you stick w/ it, you will hopefully get the same results we did. We honestly did not believe it would work, but are so thankful that it did. Good luck to all of you!...more info
vomiting is fun??? I've read this book twice, and nowhere do I see the "vomiting is fun" quote. This book is VERY compassionate toward both babies and their caretakers. There are numerous studies showing that babies who soothe themselves to sleep are more independent and less fussy later in their development. My sister never read this book but used these methods from her own common sense and had healthy sleepers and happy, well-behaved children. This book repeatedly advises not to leave your baby cry for an extended period. I am due in November and am set to use these methods with confidence, knowing I'm doing the best thing for my child....more info
Pediatrician: I recommend it to all I recommend this book to all my parents starting at 1mo. Since doing this routinely I have noticed many more sleeping babies and parents with much less intervention from me. I talk about sleep a lot, but now I dont have to as much! Teaching a baby sleep independence is a vital developmental task (most parents dont realize this), most new parents wait WAY too long, and somehow expect the baby to "do it when they are ready." Waiting until 12mo old is a guarantee of having to "cry it out", and that is OK if necessary, but starting younger will avoid this. I have scores and scores of happy parents from all walks of life who are thrilled with their 6mo old, and the baby is MUCH happier too. You are doing this for your baby, not so much for yourself, children need to sleep longer to function during the day. A 10 mo old who is getting up every 2-3 hours is barely able to function during the day (let alone the mom, especially behind the wheel). Get this book early and think about it and discuss with your partner, you wont be disappointed. BTW, it is much easier to read than the popular "Healthy Sleep Habits" book, which could use a good editor....more info
Loved it! This book isn't for every child but for my son - it worked perfectly. I loved the fact that, even though my son is 14 months old, I was able to jump into the book in the middle and still have solutions (other books - you start from infancy or you're lost). While I didn't feel that everything in this book was right for our child - I was comfortable picking and choosing.
I would never let my son cry till he vomits. I liked going in every 5 minutes minutes to sooth him, next night every 10, etc. My son cried 35 minutes the first night - 10 the next 3 nights and last night after our snuggle he turned and reached for the crib. Gave one last sigh as I put him down and poof - he went right to sleep! Not even a whimper!
I think anyone who expects one book (we've read 4) to be the end all be all is kidding themselves. Find a book can relate to and that fits with your parenting style and work with it. ...more info
Good book My son is almost two years old, and he has been sleeping through the night - 11 hours a night since I used the methods in this book eight months ago. There were a few nights of small episodes of crying. No more than 10 minutes and first night. On the third night and ever since he goes to bed willingly and happily. The first time I tried this method, I didn't do it correctly and it made things worse during the day, he felt abandoned and clingy. This is the likely response you will get if you don't put alot of emphasis on the bedtime routine part of this method. Now, he only wakes up in the night and cries if he has lost his pacifier. Also the method needs to be restarted after your child has a cold or is teething, since these things interfer with sleeping.
To the nay sayers of this book, teaching your child to feel safe and secure without a parent a breath away is a great gift to the child! Our children have to rely on us, and we gradually teach them to rely on themselves. Some seem to think parenting is about teaching children to rely on the parents....more info
Poor editing makes it tough to use This book badly needs editing. The info I needed was spread out in different areas and I eventually gave it up. I even had a friend read some it and she couldn't follow it either....more info
This book is a lifesaver!! I had been struggling with my (now) 13-month-old daughter for months - trying to get her to sleep through the night. Up until last week, she was waking up no less than 20 times a night and would only go to sleep with a bottle. If she didn't have her bottle, she would scream and scream (and I would feel guilty).
I bought this book a few days ago. I followed the advice given and within 2 days she was falling asleep on her own - no screaming. It's great!
It was also interesting to read about the stages of sleep, positive and negative sleep associations, and to hear other parents' stories. The part of the book on guilt was helpful as well.
I would highly recommend this book to other parents of children with sleep problems....more info
Helpful This book gives new parents a better understanding of infant sleeping patterns and sleep needs. We followed many of the recommendations (such as the same one toy each night for baby to focus on when falling asleep) for our now eight-month-old son and now we all sleep pretty well through the night....more info
Useful book It was very hard for me to make the decision to let my 9 month old cry to sleep, and I had tried pretty much all the kinder gentler ways before turning to Jodi Mindell. I chose Mindell over other "OK to cry" books because her text was measured, charted a pattern of sleep training that allowed me to do it step by step which I felt I could stomach, and did not add to a new mother's already elevated level of stress by suggesting that children who do not sleep well will likely have ADHD or be in danger of being seriously abused by their parents (there are books like that out there and it seems they sell). Mindell was on the whole respectful and constructive. Her key insight is that if you sleep train regularly (this means let baby cry) at bedtime you can comfort him during night awakenings, because as baby gradually learns to put himself to sleep at bedtime, he gets better at sleeping longer & longer stretches. I followed her plan conscientously but only at bedtime, I always comforted my son during night awakenings. Though the whole thing took longer than a week or two to succeed, I started to see progress in 4 days. It's been a month since I Mindellized my son, and most nights now he sleeps pretty well and wakes up calm and rested. So I'm a lot happier. ...more info
This method worked so well for us This book was easy to read and had a clear method of how to teach your child to fall asleep on his/her own. We started implementing some of these things when our son was five weeks old and at seven months he is still the best sleeper. We set him in his crib and he goes right to sleep.
The main focus of this book is that babies need to learn how to fall asleep on their own. Babies wake frequently during the night and if they are used to being rocked to sleep, or another form of external stimulation, they will need it to get back to sleep each time.
The book helps set up a bedtime routine and has a schedule for when you put your baby down to sleep. If your baby starts crying, let him/her cry for five minutes and then go talk to him/her. Do not pick your baby up, just talk and calm your baby down. I understand that this is the opposite of the Babywise method, which says you should pick your baby up but not talk or make eye contact. The schedule gives you different time intervals for each day on how to repeat this process. It seems to advocate letting your child scream until he vomits without picking him up, which seems very difficult for a parent to do. Fortunately, we never got anywhere near that far. There was just one time in the first two weeks that we had to talk to our son a third time. I do not think I would have been able to listen to him crying much more than that and especially not to where he vomits.
This book addresses various sleep problems for different ages, both physical and psychological. It also has a chart which illustrates how many hours per day children of various ages sleep. It is broken down into nighttime and daytime sleep and shows how many naps the daytime sleep typically covers. I go back and reference this chart each month as my baby gets older so I know what to expect from his sleep patterns.
I received personal recommendations on this book as well as Babywise and Baby Whisper. I went with Dr. Mindell's book because I liked her credentials better than those of the other authors. Her method worked really well for us and I'm glad I did it....more info
Happy, Rested Parents and Baby! This book provides step by step "instructions" to help your baby sleep thorugh the night. Some babies can fall asleep on their own while most (and ours) need to be taught how. It took a few weeks for our son but you have to be consistant and it will work! We started sleep training at 4.5 months and a month later we were all well rested. Learning to fall asleep by themselves is the best thing you can teach your child. This book has trouble-shooting help like what to do if they wake up in the middle of the night or what to do on vacation. Thank you Jodi Mindell!! ...more info
Well-researched and compassionate The negative reviews of this book are founded in the readers' errors. Dr. Mindell explains clearly why babies need to be able to put themselves to sleep, and gives the reader choices about how to do it. Nowhere in this book does it say that you have to make your baby cry or that you have to abandon him. You don't. She says that you can stay with your baby and pat him and verbally soothe him in his crib.
Further, she never says that vomiting is fun for kids, and her suggestion about hanging signs is in the paragraph about keeping a sense of humor. It really bothers me to see reviews that are flat-out lies.
Whether or not to let your child cry to sleep is one of the most controversial parenting subjects. I was completely against it until my son, at 7 months, had still not slept through the night in his crib. My husband and I felt completely broken by lack of sleep- it was absolutely debilitating to my family.
I bought the book and took the plunge, and the conclusion I've come to is this: letting my son cry as he learns a very important skill-- the ablility to go to sleep on his own-- is better than all the crying he does added up over a night due simply to night-waking and not being able to go back to sleep. At least this way, he will have a tool at the end of all the strife, instead of just being upset over lack of sleep.
We have done the method for 2 nights now. The first night he cried for 10 minutes. The second, which should be the worst, 37 minutes. We hope tonight will be better. Already he is waking less in the night and has already put himself back to sleep twice.
I hope this helps others who are contemplating buying the book. ...more info
Excellent, Common-Sense Solution to Sleep Problems I love this book. It's perfect for parents who can tolerate some crying. It's highly effective, highly practical and allows you to comfort your child when you feel it's necessary...this book rocks....more info
What a turning point! I was really skeptical about this method at first since I knew I just couldn't stomach the Ferber method (basically abandon the baby in the crib, let him cry himself to sleep) & it seemed way too harsh for me so this was an ok compromise I agreed to try.
Basically the theory seemed sound: A baby should learn to fall asleep on his own and not need rocking or eating to fall asleep. Everyone wakes up on their own in the middle of the night and when the baby does this, you want him to put himself back to sleep instead of screaming.
Quick background: We had a preemie born 2 months early and for the last 6 months we've been getting up 3-4 times a night to feed him. This was necessary at first but now that he is 17lbs, 25 inches long & has caught up physically, I suspected he really didn't need to eat every 2-3 hours. (The hope was to get him to sleep maybe 5-6 hours by using this book.) I have not slept more than 2 consective hours in 6 months due to this, because even when we would get 3 or so hours of him sleeping, I could never go right back to sleep that fast and by the time I did, he was screaming again. He is also still colicky during the day, meaning anytime he is awake and isn't eating he is screaming his head off. Also, this whole time he needed to be in the baby bjorn and me walking to fall asleep or be in the car or he would fall asleep while eating. He never just went to sleep on his own in his bed, we let him fall asleep wherever he could and then we sneak him into bed after he fell asleep.
Basically I was hoping to get 5-6 consecutive hours of sleep for him from this book, that was my goal. 6 hours was being very optimistic.
So... night # 1 we established a routine: Read a book, gave him a little bear to hold and put him in bed. He screamed and screamed and screamed non-stop while I bawled outside the bedroom door. We started with a 30 sec. interval and went gradually up to 7 min intervals & he fell asleep after 35 min, the longest 35 min of my life. He then got up for all of his usual intervals during the night. At this point I bitterly complained that this wasn't working, it was a lot of pain for nothing etc. but my husband convinced me to give it a week.
Night #2 the book said would probably be worse than night #1 and to expect him to cry longer. The first thing we noticed was that he didn't cry immediately after we left the room he waited about 2 min. And he was asleep after 25 min! AND HE SLEPT FOR 7 CONSECUTIVE HOURS!Of course, I thought he was dead of SIDS the whole night and was up every hour listening for breathing & finally slept in his room starting around 4AM.
Night #3: He started crying 5 min after we left the room & then only cried for a total of 2 min before he was asleep and then slept for 9 hours straight!!!! 9 HOURS! O.M.G. (I was still conditioned to wake up every 2-3 hours, so I got no sleep still, but the potential is there- there is hope!) I just cannot believe that this is the same child who woke us up screaming to be fed (or so I thought) several times a night just 3 days ago!!! Why oh why didn't I start this earlier, I could have has so much more sleep and a baby who was getting enough sleep too!
This worked SO well for us, even though the 1st night was pure hell, I feel like it was worth it & I've given my child the skills to fall asleep on his own - this is a BIG deal especially if we have another child because I wouldn't be able to cope with 2 like this, both needing rocking, eating etc. to fall asleep. An added benefit is that he is much less crabby (colicky) during the day and also doesn't immediately melt down if he loses sight of me for even 2 seconds anymore. (Don't even ask how many times I had to bring the bouncy seat into the bathroom with me in sheer desperation!)
Everyone is MUCH happier in our house, the baby isn't nearly as cranky during the day and neither am I- I can't recommend this book strongly enough, even though the first few nights are definitely difficult.
Doesn't work for everyone I have followed this book to the letter and - 6 weeks later and many many tears - my son still cries and cries at bedtime and does not sleep through the night. Not even close....more info
My kids sleep like champs This book really helped both of my children to become good sleepers from the earliest ages. We used it with my daughter at 7 months and she was sleeping through the night within a week. We stared even earlier with my son (3 months) and he was putting himself to sleep within 10 days. They are now school aged and sleep like adults (by themselves, with lights out, and until the morning). I see the craziness that some other parent still go through (kids needing them in the room until they fall asleep, kids coming into their beds at night) and I think "thank goodness this is not me." I think teaching kids to sleep is like teaching them to do anything--it needs some guidance, but they will catch on to what is expected of them. I think using this book is one of the best parenting decisions we ever made. Yes, you will have a few unpleasant nights of crying, but you are saving yourself years of trouble! I highly recommend this book....more info
What a relief to find this book! No one knows like a sleep-deprived parent, the frustration of several wakings a night, pulled from deep sleep to attend to a crying infant for an hour or more, only to get a brief respite before doing it all again...several times a night, for weeks and months...
We tried several "no cry" sleep solution ideas. My daughter was happy. She didn't cry. But she didn't sleep for long, either. (We were too exhausted to cry.) It was only when I lay awake and listening in on my husband's "shift" one night as he rocked her, sang to her, played the mobile, etc etc, that I "got" that this was a game - to her, the goal was to keep us busy entertaining her. In her mind, all our antics had nothing whatsoever to do with her getting to sleep and staying alseep for an extended period of time. Nothing that we were doing was teaching her that she needed to go to sleep and stay asleep. On the contrary, we were training her (or was she training us?) to demand endless rocking, songs, feeding and general entertainment, at regular intervals, throughout the night. Every night.
Finally I read this book. WHAT A GODSEND! The instructions are clear and simple, and best of all, you can adapt them to a degree to suit your family. There are some key things that you must do (or not do) but this is not a harsh "shut the door and listen to them scream for hours" approach. It is a moderate, calm, "here are the rules, dear, and we still love you" approach that WORKED! It went almost to the letter how the author describes, except that we had less crying than she says is typical. Given that our daughter was 9 months and had been ruling the roost regarding sleeping for all that time, we were utterly amazed that within 2 weeks we were all sleeping through the night.
When I had my second child he was also a poor sleeper by nature. Being much more strong-willed than my daughter I was very apprehensive about trying out the technique on him. Once again, we did it to the letter and within 2 weeks, we were all sleeping through the night.
When we are at our children's friends houses or birthday parties, the topic of "does your child sleep through the night" invariably arises and when we say that both of ours, at 1 and 3, sleep through the night every night, we quickly find ourselves surrounded by a group of exhausted parents picking our brains. We just recommend this book, because if you do it, it works!
Don't be afraid to just implement the book as it says. It is not at all unkind to the child, it just asks you to set a boundary and stand by it (which is what all the child care experts say we should do with our children). The author points out that not sleeping is a behavioural issue and if it's treated as such, then, like any other child behavioural issue, you can resolve it quickly and easily. Yes, you do have to tolerate a small amount of screaming (we had to put up with a total of about 50 minutes spread out over 3 nights for each of our children). But you are giving your child the gift of being able to sleep for an extended period. They need it just as much as you do. That small amount of crying has led to years of peaceful sleeping.
If you are seriously sleep deprived and need to just cut to the chase and do what works, get this book.
Use what works for you - think of this as one of many options My disclaimer: This book worked for us - but it wasn't the first we tried - and it wouldn't have been the last if I hadn't figured out which of the recommendations I needed to switch up to make it work for us. Everyone's different - don't let anyone (except your pediatrician) tell you what you choose to do is wrong. It truly is and should be a family decision so that during the roughest moments you have the support you need to hold firm to your plans. 4am is a tough moment to try to be strong - but with a plan, a resource and support it's easier. In the end this too shall pass - how many adults do you know that don't sleep through the night?
So I spent the majority of my daughters first months of life convinced CIO was not in the cards for me. This lead to almost 10 solid months of sleeping with her in a recliner because i was too afraid to sleep with her in our bed because my husband is such a sound sleeper (and he was afraid of having her in bed too). By the end of 10 months I was getting tired because she was more active at nigth, we were still nursing periodically through the night for minutes or less at a time, and I was realizing I needed to do something else for when we travelled because I sure couldn't fit my recliner on a plane.
We started with the Sears Healthy Sleep book - but for many reasons decided that approach didn't fully work with our philosophy or lifestyle. I went looking for a kinder gentler CIO method because I could tell I wasn't having any success at anything else that didn't result in me falling asleep in "our" chair. A parent at daycare recommended this and the more I read it the more it made sense.
We were lucky the first time we tried this it worked like a charm - our timeframes were longer than stated but by the 4th night she was falling asleep on her own. After a few short weeks, the baby got sick, we had to go on a trip and she was starting to hit some significant milestones all of which Mindell indicates will disrupt the pattern. So I after we got over the cold, had returned home and were past the milestones we started trying again - from the beginning. Then another interruption - started all over from teh beginning. You get the picture.
Here's what I liked - I liked the philosophy but only parts of it worked for us. We live a fairly busy lifestyle - travelling (Amanda's come with me on business trips) on the go on weekends, etc. She's in daycare and picks up colds. And as a 10-12 month old is hitting lots of milestones - teething, learning to walk etc. It didn't work for me to start back at the beginning every time there was an interruption to her schedule. I discovered after a solid month of establishing the habit when she got sick she would still put herself to sleep.
At first I only did CIO to get her to learn to fall asleep at night - when she woke in the middle of the night I went to her and we cliimbed into our chair so the family could sleep. Overtime though I realized this wasn't the perfect solution either and started going in and just laying her back down in her crib (she was pulling herself up and crying at the crib rail) instead of nursing her. I would pat her belly or rub her side and shush her (ala Karp's white noise) and eventually within a week or two she was putting herself back to sleep in the middle of the night.
Two months later we've only had 2 middle of the night wakings where I just laid her back down and within minutes (>5) she was sound asleep.
"negative sleep assocations" She says it's a bad idea to let your baby fall asleep while being rocked or listening to music? But, don't adults do some variation of these things? I fall asleep with the radio on all night and I don't have a problem.
The women contradicts herself all through the book. In one sentence for example she says "not all babies need to be rocked back to sleep over and over" but then proceeds to say to "Never rock your baby to sleep because then they will need it to get back to sleep". What's wrong with a child having a parent next to them to fall asleep? I think it's great. As adults we sleep next to a spouse. So, why do children need to be shut away in a a room alone with nooone there next to them? My sisters 6 children were all rocked and or nursed to sleep as babies and they all turned out just fine. They all sleep fine now that they are older. None of them have any sleep problems.
To state that ALL children will end up with sleep problems is wrong. And I have never seen a child who "enjoys" vomiting and thinks it's "Fun"!! Where does she get this stuff?
Establishing a routine was essential for our little one I haven't read the entire book, just skipped to the sections that applied to our 10 month old. Within 1 week of establishing a bed time routine, our little one was sleeping 11 hours in his own crib. I wouldn't say it's a miracle. I think a lot of different methods work for different children when implemented appropriately. But this book seemed to appeal to my common sense and happened to "work like a charm" for our baby....more info
It has worked for all three children If you don't have the guts to let your baby cry some, don't bother. But if you are ready to be the parent and lovingly teach them good sleep habits, then this is the book for you. Though it has been years since I read this book, I have used the methods with all three of my kids, and they are all great sleepers, even my stubborn youngest child. Just like with everything else in our children's lives, we, the parents have to teach them good habits, even sleep habits! I understand some parents are against the cry it out methods, but those of who aren't, are not monsters. This book allows you to use your parental instincts to find a plan that works for you within her guidelines. You don't just stick a baby in a room and leave it till it falls asleep. You do go in and love the child but within reccommended guidelines. ...more info
Not for us I didn't like this book for two reasons: First, the premise didn't work for us. My child put himself to sleep at night just fine, and then proceeded to get up every two hours during the night. Second, I felt the book was not well written. As a sleep deprived mom, I have to make the most of the time I have available to read. This book is so disorganized it took quite a while to figure out what Ms. Mindell's technique was. Most of the book didn't apply to us, but I felt I had to read the whole thing anyway just to figure out the sleep training. It is not clearly written or well organized....more info
GENTLE approach? More like the most INHUMANE approach out there. I laughed out loud reading this book last night because I thought the author was surely joking. She said that babies are capable of vomiting intentionally for attention, and that if your baby vomits after an evening of crying in his crib, then you should clean it up as quickly as possible without touching your baby and then leave the room to let your baby continue crying. That's a joke, right? Come on, people!!
If you believe this is an acceptable parenting style, then you are being brainwashed or you are very, very selfish.
And what about the author's advice for parents that can't stand the sound of their baby's cry to drown it out with music, the T.V., or the vacuum? She says herself that a baby's cry is nature's way of making sure babies are taking care of. So, I guess that would make ignoring the cry neglect, wouldn't it?
This is just one of the several ways Mindell suggests will reduce your stress level while your baby cries. What about your baby's stress? What do you think her psyche is going through while he screams and vomits with no response? Who cares, right? They'll be fine in the morning. It's YOU who needs the sleep!
Yes, this method will probably work. Buy my question is, why? Maybe it's because your baby learns that after several nights of not being responded to, it's just not worth it. Nobody is listening, so what's the point? Perhaps that's why it takes a few nights and the crying becomes less and less...like he is shutting down more and more. After all, if a baby is smart enough to intentionally vomit for attention, he should be smart enough to learn that his needs are worthless.
We are trying the No Cry Sleep Solution, which is not a quick fix but is definitely a gentle approach to sleep training. It is also written clearly and gives you a step-by-step plan for success. This book, on the contrary, is poorly written and doesn't offer clear instruction - except, of course, to let your baby cry until he vomits.
I would rather continue the sleepless nights than put my child through something so inhumane....more info
THIS IS THE ONLY BOOK ON SLEEP YOU NEED!!!! As a first-time mom (and psychologist), I brought and read five books on sleep until getting this one- the only one that actually helped!!! It is the most comprehensive, clear, and practical book if its kind and parents across the country should bow down to Dr. Mindell for her ability to guide you along the path to getting your infant (and thus, yourself) to sleep through the night!! ...more info
An excellent resource on sleep for infants through the toddler years There are many sleep books available on the market, and I have purchased 3-4 books on this subject. Each baby is unique, and all parents differ in their parenting styles - what this means to me is that no one book will accurately address my specific questions or challenges, or perfectly suit my parenting style. I have been able to learn a thing or two from each book and create my own strategy to help my 6-month old self-soothe, fall asleep on her own, get into a naptime routine and sleep 12 hours at night (expcept for 1-2 feedings which is normal at this age until 9-months). Dr. Mindell's book addressed my specific challenges of correcting "negative sleep associations" (things that the baby needs to fall back asleep on her own, such as me!) such as nursing her to sleep, rocking her to sleep and always putting her to bed asleep. It also presented a variety of methods to sleep train including both cry and no-cry solutions for both bedtime and naptime. This method allows you to move as slowly or quickly as you are comfortable with moving. The sample problems in the book are very helpful to read and use to apply to your own situation. Each chapter focuses on a different subject and is organized by age so you can skip the sections that don't apply to your baby's age. The book is well-written and easy to read. Her sleep strategy is easy to understand and implement. If you are interested in purchasing more than one book on sleep, I also recommend Marc Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" which has a lot of great research and background information on sleep - but is not as easy to read and the strategies are not as clearly defined....more info
Sound advice from a true sleep specialist! My son didn't start sleeping through the night until he was 19 months old. That was when we started seeing Dr. Mindell. She and her book were wonderful for our family. She is compassionate and offers no-nonsense advice for helping your entire family get to sleep!...more info
A word of caution A friend gave me this book to read as my 6-month old daughter does not nap regularly during the day, is not keen on going to bed early AND wakes up 4-5 times per night. I am not saying that the method does not work since I could not make myself even try it, but the friend has a baby of the same age who has been subjected to the sleep training with "great success". Before you try this method, consider the following:
My daughter was never much interested in day-time naps, but during the first 3 months she slept through the night without any training. On the other hand, she was quite fussy during the day and she had regular episodes of crying.
This completely changed when I went back to work, which coincided with her starting teething and learning new motoric skills. Now she is not a good sleeper, but she is an active and inquisitive child who learned to sit and crawl early. But she rarely cries during the day and it is almost never fussy crying.
My friend's daughter was a much more quiet and 'easy' baby during the first three months. Since she has been 'trained to sleep', she has become quite fussy and unsettled and she, in general, cries more than my daughter. One day they both stayed with my babysitter and it took much less time for my daugther to fall asleep, plus she slept longer than my friend's baby. My babysitter told me that my friend had to spend 45 minutes trying to get her child to fall sleep (following the Mindell advice: not picking her up, only standing by her, talking to her, giving her a lovey). This is 3 months AFTER she has allegedly learned to self-soothe and established a firm sleeping schedule.
I can not convince myself that this approach is right. I always attend to my daughter when she cries. I never let her cry it out, not even for a minute. I pick her up to soothe her or nurse her every time she wakes up crying. I read several books (including this one) written by so-called experts who say that crying does not psychologically damage children. Maybe it does not, but how do they know? The only ones who could confirm this are the children and they can not tell us. But they can show us how they feel and if they cry, it means that something is wrong. If they stop when you pick them up or nurse them, then you should be proud of being able to help them.
By ignoring your child's cries, you do not remove the underlying cause of the crying, you condition yourself to shut it out and pretend that it will go away. Yes, it is hard not being able to get an uninterrupted stretch of sleep at night, but I really wonder what kind of parent can continue to sleep or read or do whatever while their child is crying alone in the dark. ...more info
Decidedly NOT vague I was anxious to find a solution that didn't involve crying. I purchased the no-cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley, which I found helpful, but vague. As I searched for more information I stumbled on Jodi Mindell's book, and devoured the thing in two days. Some reveiwers don't like Dr. Mindell's approach because she advocates some crying, but I would argue that those people didn't read the book very carefully. Dr. Mindell advocates all of the solutions outlined in Elizabeth Pantley's book, but with more detail and explanation. She also explains how certain parental behaviors can CAUSE sleep issues. I learned that some of the things I was doing was making the situation worse. Bottom line, Dr. Mindell advocates crying ONLY after you have made all the other changes to improve sleeping behavior. Dr. Mindell's book is well researched and well written. It is evident that she is well credentialed....more info
Common-sense approach to sleep issues This book is an updated version of Dr. Mindell's 1997 book of the same title. Reading this book and using its methods saved my sanity more than once. Dr. Mindell is an expert on pediatric sleep. Her advice works because it is specific and because it is combined with messages of support that a parent needs to hear when dealing with a baby's sleep problems. You not only learn how to help your baby sleep, but also gain confidence that teaching your baby to sleep is for the baby's benefit, not just for your own convenience.
Dr. Mindell's approach is compassionate to parents and babies both. Never is a parent instructed to just leave a baby to cry until he is broken of the habit. Instead, Dr. Mindell encourages parents to take measures to reassure crying babies as they learn to fall asleep. This contrasts with other sleep experts who admonish parents against speaking to or touching their baby once he's put down in the crib.
In this book, you'll learn how focusing on improving your baby's bedtime habits can translate to better sleep overall -- at bedtime, naptime and through the night. It offers advice for babies of all ages as well as toddlers and young children.
The book can be read in a day or two, so it won't be long before you can start putting Dr. Mindell's techniques to work with your child.
If you need a break from restless nights -- and some relief from feeling guilty for wanting to get some sleep -- this book is a comprehensive, step-by-step guide to getting there....more info
Child Abuse The methods prescribed in this book are CHILD ABUSE - plain and simple. If you are desparate and tired - try reading a book that will help you UNDERSTAND infant developmental appropriateness - Dr. Sears and Elizabeth Pantley are good.
If you have to harden your heart to let your baby cry until they vomit - you are ignoring nature's gift to you "Mother's Instinct".
Ask yourself how YOU would want to be treated? Humanely and with respect.
All the posters who say it "worked like a charm" are fooling themselves about the long-term effects of this type of program. Parenting is a long road - a quick solution may not be the answer!...more info
This book changed my life- no kidding!!! Dr. Mindell's book gives parents whose kid are not sleeping through the night hope! Ideally, you should read this BEFORE your child is born so that you won't make the mistakes I did. However, if you are like us and end up with a 15 mo old who wakes 4-5 times a night and won't fall asleep on his own, this book will give you a plan that you can follow and feel good about. The best part it, it works QUICKLY. For us, it took 3 nights with no more than 45 minutes of crying at a time. It could have been so much worse. The best part was, we all started being normal again once we were not so sleep deprived. It made motherhood much more FUN for me- which is the way it should be!
Dr. Mindell also tackles other issues like napping, moving from a crib to a bed, and early waking. This book is for any mom expecting child #1 OR for any parent struggling with any problem associated with sleep. I HIGHLY recommend this book!
It was an easy read too. Even in my EXTREMELY sleep deprived state, I was able to read it in a day or two and implement the plan shortly thereafter!...more info
It worked for us! The ideas presented in this book worked quickly for us. Mindell's techniques are a middle-of-the-road approach to improving babies' sleep. There is some crying involved, but not as much as the Ferber method, so I never felt like I had abandoned my baby. In fact, my baby actually cried less when I was applying this approach than when I was running to her side all night long!
I give the book four stars instead of five because there were several spots that seemed present contradictory information. Upon closer inspection I found that there were no real conflicts; however, I felt that some ideas could have been clarified to prevent possible misunderstandings.
All in all, the book contains effective information and is an interesting and easy read....more info