Positive Discipline: The First Three Years: From Infant to Toddler--Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident Child
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Make a Difference During the Most Important Years of Your Child's Life The months leading up to the birth of a child are filed with joy, dreams, plans—and a few worries. As a caring parent, you want to start your child out in life on the proper foundation. But where do you go for the answers to such questions as: How do I communicate with an infant who doesn't understand words? How can I effectively teach boundaries to my toddler? Should I ever spank my child? Over the years, millions of parents just like you have come to trust Jane Nelsen's classic Positive Discipline series. These books offer a commonsense approach to child-rearing that so often is lacking in today's world. In Positive Discipline: The First Three Years, you'll learn how to use kind but firm support to raise a child who is both capable and confident. You'll find practical solutions and solid advice on how to: ，Encourage independence and exploration while providing appropriate boundaries ，Use non-punitive methods to instill valuable social skills and positive behavior inside and outside the home ，Recognize when your child is ready to master the challenges of sleeping, eating, and potty training, and how to avoid the power struggles that often come with those lessons ，Identify your child's temperament ，Understand what the latest research in brain development tells us about raising healthy children ，And much, much more! Containing real-life examples of challenges other parents and caregivers have faced, Positive Discipline: The First Three Years is the one book that no parent should be without.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
very good for little ones great resource for small children, but would
recommend instead the book for preschoolers
which has more information and techniques for
Not the best book I've read The tone of this book is rather condescending and opinionated. The authors assume that the reader is not too bright. For a more wholesome approach to parenting, read The Baby Book or The Discipline Book By Dr. William Sears....more info
If you are true to Attachment Parenting ideals, this might not be for you I read (and unfortunately bought) this book ... and it does say you should not let your child sleep in your bed. It may not say you have to wean by 12 months, but it does suggest you look for weaning signs at that time ... AND THEN a paragraph or two later mentions that if you decide to breastfeed beyond this point you will have critics ... AND that some people breastfeed up to 6 or 8 years old. She is clearly driving people away from extended breastfeeding, probably inadvertantly, but still doing it with her presentation of the issue. Read this section yourself and see what I mean. IMHO, specifically on breastfeeding and cosleeping, the author is VERY anti-attachment parenting. ...more info
Malarky 1. Don't hit your kids.
2. Don't waste your time reading this book.
What IS it with children's books? Millions are sold every year. Yet the vast majority are just the detailed opinions of individuals. Sure, these individuals have fancy degrees. But where is their data? Can they support their claims that parenting by their techniques does more good than harm? Are there longitudinal studies of any kind? Of course not. Don't waste your time and money reading this woman's opinions.
They're sort of silly to boot. For example, she says that picking up a child who can walk is disrespectful because you're denying them the chance to walk. Give me a break....more info
Useful but a little wordy This book is an easy read and you can take it in in small pieces (ideal for busy parents). Examples from life are helpful models of dos and don'ts and I wish the book contained even more of those. Some of the strategies presented seem a little simplistic, but at the very least the book makes you reconsider your parenting style and become more aware of how you interact with your child. It also helps you understand where your child may be coming from and what her needs are at a particular moment.
At the core, it contains some useful strategies on how to deal with a challenging child or challenging situations, but you have to dig to find them. The book is quite repetitive and wordy and the authors keep deferring key points.
I was a little turned off by the authors' assumption that most parents yell at and spank their children and that their book was offering a revolutionary new method of raising your child. Yet, I do appreciate their acknowledgment of our humanity as parents and their emphasis on parental love; they present mistakes as "opportunities to learn" and to improve on ourselves.
Insightful A must read when you have a little child or take care of one or just want to know more about how to raise emotionally healthy and well-balanced children. Jane Nelsen is a phenominal insightful expert when it comes to parenting. I started giving this book to new parents as a gift as I have raised my own children by this method and the parenting job has been enjoyable throughout all years due to the positive discipline method. The book is an easy read and simple to follow. Although, the greatest benefit arises by actually applying these brilliant principles. ...more info
Every parent should read this book! This is one of my new favorite parenting books. The authors do a great job of teaching readers how to have a mutually respectful relationship with their children that promotes cooperation. They give great communication tips and reasonable suggestions to help parents talk to their kids. They help parents understand child development so they can avoid putting their children in situations they are not ready for which leads to melt downs. They promote consistency which is so important with children. I will be recommending this book to all the parents I see in my psychotherapy practice.
Dr. Jenn Berman
Author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids...more info
Disappointing outdated information I was really disappointed after reading this book. It is definitely not for parents who believe in attachment parenting. This book is anti attachment parenting! Author definitely doesn't believe in nursing past a year and not only advocates CIO but also suggests you go cold turkey because according to her your baby can't tell the difference between 5 minutes & 5 hours! Author if can't encourage extended nursing, shouldn't discourage it by giving ridiculous explanation like it can disrupt your babies sense of autonomy and misguide new mothers. Tons of research has been done on millions of benefits of nursing beyond one year, which were not even mentioned in the book. I don't recommend this book to anyone! This book does tell you not to yell, spank and use punitive methods. It does discourage schedule feeding. If you are reading other gentle discipline books, this book doesn't have much to offer....more info
Don't Listen to the Negative Reviews! Don't listen to the negative reviews of this book. Having never been exposed to kids of toddler age, I decided to buy this book when my son was approaching his one year birthday. The information, anecdotal accounts and practical tips provided in this book are very useful to a parent who has never had to deal with toddler behavior. I definitely feel more prepared and confident about heading into this fun, yet difficult stage of parenthood. I'm having my husband read it and then will read it again once my son turns two!...more info
An excellent summary of current developmental literature This book is an excellent resource for parents of infants and toddlers. The authors condense the mountains of research available on social and emotional development into a managable and interesting format. The authors' important message is that discipline is a teaching tool rather than punishment....more info
So many opportunities to TEACH your child! Much more than discipline!! This book was such a pleasure to read! I was engrossed and amazed at the many, many opportunities pointed out where you can take a tanrum or fit and turn it into a lesson learned for the child. This book reminds us that raising kids takes work, patience, and conistency -- I say reminds because we all know those things are true. But to take a typical situation that is unpleasant or even embarrassing to the parent and turn it into an opportunity for the child to learn something -- now that's what raising a confident and independent child is all about! Letting them make decisions early on (criteria being that there are only 2 choices and both are to the parent's approvel) sets them up for a successful outcome while allowing them to learn important decision-making skills. I learned so much from this book, but mostly that you have to look at the situation and see what the opportunity is for the child to LEARN something here. Instead of saying "no whining," allow the child to discover for himself how to fix the situation (example given was child whining about not liking the cup his mom gave him and she helped him learn that he can get his favorite cup from the cupboard and pour the juice into his new glass -- while making a mess, but still learning to make a positive change happen). Many more examples given such as what to do during a tantrum, when child is getting into something he shouldn't, and how to even handle other parents when your child "misbehaves."
Every parent should buy & read this book. If all our kids were allowed to succeed in life (& shown that they can make it happen), where could we be in a few years? ...more info
waste of time...an insult to your intelligence I thought this might be a good book so I checked it out from the library. By chapter 4 I was really turned off from reading further. In chapter 4 two anecdotes are cited of parents who want to provide early education for their infant and hope to teach their young child many things earlier than is average. The chapter goes on to briefly explain what research has shown about baby's vast brain growth and its later decline. Despite touching on this amazing subject, the chapter ends up denigrating early infant education and does so without any reference to studies, statistics, or research. I could not find any reference or footnotes to substantiate the book's position against infant education. I am still curious as to the source of such information put forth in the book. I am afraid it was very irresponsible and may be miseducating parents seeking the best methods for their children without providing some powerful research to back up the claims put forth in the book.
The rest of the book had a few good insights, but for parents who don't abuse their children it basically gave the go-ahead to just continue what you've been doing all along.
Love it! I've incorporated most, if not all, of their suggestions for my 15 month old twins. Tips on avoiding power struggles have been especially helpful. I will get their book about the next age group when that time comes. ...more info
Awesome parenting info!! This book offers excellent information on parenting and Child development. It gives real strategies for handling tantrums, etc. in a way that is age appropriate for your child and builds self-confidence, trust, and independence. Every parent needs to read it!!! ...more info
Excellent quick read Positive Discipline: The First Three Years-Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident ChildWell written, easy to read and very practical. My daughter is 13 months old. This book has helped me to understand life from her perspective. I now am more likely to enjoy her tenacity and have tools to keep her safe without all the "fussing"....more info
Positive Discipline: The First Three Years, Jane Nelsen Great advice and examples for parents who don't want to use corporal punishment!...more info
Good book gets better after recent update I am a fan of positive discipline, but I do nurse my toddler and we co-sleep. So I was a bit apprehensive when I read some of the other reviews. I had read the older edition from the library and agree with posters on that edition. However, they have come out with a newer edition. Even though I thought it was pretty plain to see that they do not endorse extended nursing nor co-sleeping, they say some families choose to do and provide references if you choose to do it. And no pics of bottles, that I noticed, at least!...more info
Don't Waste Your Money! Unfortunately, we found this book a waste of time and money! The crux of the book is to "love your child, nuture your child". We really didn't need to read a book to remind us of that. The book suggests some general common-sense solutions to typical toddler dilemas, most of which we already practice. Other suggestions contained in the book have given us inconsistent results or are simply impractical during the times when we absolutely need our toddler to follow directions or respect limits....more info
Perfect book for me! I would recommend this book to any mother who would like to take a second look at discipline methods. The spanking, slapping, and pinching didn't make sense to me, and I didn't feel right doing it, but I didn't know how else to discipline. This book shows you how to discipline positively without all the hitting and yelling and bad feelings and attitudes. It is already working with my two year old son, and i feel so much better as a mom. I'm able to relax and enjoy my son instead of feeling constantly on edge thinking I have to scold him for every little thing he does. The biggest part of positive discipline is understanding where your little one is coming from developmentally. This book is great! A must must must read!...more info
Great! I really like this book and highly recommend it. It's easy to follow and a quick read....more info
Changing the way you think about "discipline" I really believe in most of what this author has to offer. Her methods of discipline are logical and focused on increasing you and your child's problem solving skills. Most of what she has to say is founded on the principle that everyone is basically good and your child is really not usually TRYING to make your life difficult. She advocates not using punishment as a means of disciplining your child, which is contrary to what most people believe. It takes work to master this method and reverse your thinking about discipline, but this book is certainly worth your time. My only criticisms of this book are that she advocates "crying it out" as a way of getting your child to sleep. Also, although she doesn't say it outright, you get a strong sense that she isn't really a supporter of extended breastfeeding. Otherwise, I really did enjoy this book....more info
Positive discipline!?! I think I was tricked... ....into buying a book that talks about my baby learning to "manipulate me" if I nurse s/he to sleep or hold s/he "too much." The authors in this book are also obviously not fans of nursing past 12 months OR allowing children to sleep with their parents-two key elements when discussing "attachment Parenting" which, according to Dr. William Sears, sets the ground stage for a happy toddlerhood. Most of the gentle discipline techniques in this book are worth being reminded of, however, are truly common sense when dealing with a toddler and if are not already part of your daily parenting routine, basic parenting classes should DEFINATELY be a priority. Of course, no book can emphasize enough that hitting/slapping/spanking is inappropriate discipline (and this book does a great job of that), but I feel if you are reading this book you probably already know that and are looking for better answers. I recommend "Kids are Worth It" by Barbara Coloroso instead. Most of the gentle discipline techniqes parallel each other in a reading environment that gives more confidence in parental lifestyle choice. Also, "The Discipline Book" by the Sears' is a definite keeper....more info