|Parenting by the Book: Biblical Wisdom for Raising Your Child
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"Picture respectful, responsible, obedient children who entertain themselves without television or video games, do their own homework, and have impeccable manners. A pie-in-the-sky fantasy? Not so, says family psychologist and bestselling author John Rosemond. Any parent who so desires can grow children who fit that description -- happy, emotionally healthy children who honor their parents and their families with good behavior and do their best in school. In the 1960s, American parents stopped listening to their elders when it came to child rearing and began listening instead to professional experts. Since then, raising children has become fraught with anxiety, stress, and frustration. The solution, says John, lies in raising children according to biblical principles, the same principles that guided parents successfully for hundreds of years. They worked then, and they still work now! Through his nationally syndicated newspaper column and eleven books, John has been helping families raise happy, well-behaved children for more than thirty years. In Parenting by The Book, which John describes as both a "mission and a ministry," he brings parents back to the uncomplicated basics. Herein, find practical, Bible-based, advice, that will help you be the parent you want to be, with children who will be, as the Bible promises, "a delight to your soul" (Pro. 29-17). As a bonus, John also promises to make you laugh along the way."
- Four-year-olds can be mean too
What sort of person needs to buy books of "common sense"? Anyway, doesn't common sense tell us the world is flat and that a heavy object will land on the ground sooner than a lighter one? Whatever you do to the least of my brothers and sisters you do not just to them, but also to me, your neighbors, and to the world. Pain, humiliation and shame are already common. Way too common. So, if you haven't noticed, is personal despair, crime and war. The earth orbits the sun and not vice versa. It's time to reject common sense and to accept the facts. Anyone viciously attacked by two-year-olds has a right to self-defense. Everything else is just plain bullying. ...more info
- Critics focus = spanking / miss the larger pt.
I'm a semi-reg. reader of the kindly dr's wkly online col.(rosemond.com). To believe his detractors, you'd think Dr.R. suggested acoutering oneself w/ jackboots, a monacle, & a riding crop, & let fly w/ the leather at the sligtest provocation. I won't turn this into an editorial on spanking, although I'm not opposed to the practice in limited circumstances/amts.
It's unfair to take 1% of what the man says, & ignore the other 99%. For that matter, his website has "Position Statement on Spanking" (google the phrase exactly). As an observer of human behavior, I could supply one w/ more instances of parents at McD's being unable to get their children to leave the vid.games to come to the table to fill a book itself: "Come 'n eat, Brandon. Brandon? NOW. NOW, Brandon. Brandon? ONE. ONE, Brandon. Brandon? ONE. Why don't you listen? If you don't come & eat, you can't drive when you're 16...". When my dad said to come & eat, we did. When my step-dad said it, we did it quickly.
Kids're happier when the pilot flying the plane that is their life can get them from A to B w/ skill & confidence, which doesn't happen w/a modern "consensus-seeking" pilot who keeps running back to the passenger cabin to ask Brandon how they should handle the icing conditions ahead, then wait for him to decide based not on what's safest, but instead what screws w/ authority the most. Little Brandon has his worthiness as a human "affirmed" -- "just because he is". Now let's fly straight to our doom, w/ our ill-considered principles intact. He's the little twerp in the booth next to me who ruins dinner for 20 other people while he expresses himself. Isn't he presh-usss? He's more precious than citizenship, civility, or anyone else's desire to be treated as they treat their fellow diners.
Which situation uses up all the oxygen for happiness instead for protracted, low-level hostility -- one w/ a dispassionate referee who sees all, knows what constitutes an infraction, calls them instantly(no eye contact), assesses a pentalty & lets play resume immed'ly? Now imagine a modern physcho-babble ref' who'd stop play to resolve conflict, teach emphathy, & appeal to the smirking offender's sense of humanity to change his behavior, because there's good in us all... You'd have bedlam, & bedlam is what I see routinely at McD's including one mother who couldn't demand/plead/beg/threaten/reason her $18 SuperCuts-coiffed botique-brat to come & eat his melting ice-cream cone, so SHE took it over to HIM & followed 'im around holding it while he ate & ignored her!! Training has taken place, & his mother's well-trained. Imagine this kid 4' taller, & 130lbs heavier. Remember: it's the baby elephant w/the iron chain around one leg, & the mother elephant tied w/rope she could easily break. One tries repeatedly to break his restaint, & one's learned to practice restraining herself, so to speak.
Noteworthy: at this McD's, it's not uncommon to see Mennonite or Amish kids. If you swapped clothing w/ the OLD NAVY botique-brats & the "religious cult throwbacks", you could still tell 'em apart. The Amish & Mennonite are the happy, quiet, peaceful & serene kids I want to sit next to.
Dr.R.'s affirmation of limited use of spanking [w/"spanking" itself limited by his clear, restrictive def.] does not alter his message of traditional methods of authority & leadership instilling character instead of the modern wishy-washy, quest for "giving" un-earned & un-deserved self-esteem creating ultimately unhappy, bratty little tyrants with an over-developed sense of entitlement.
- A breath of fresh air!
My parents used the traditional methods espoused in this book. I received spankings only for serious infractions such as lying. I can hardly remember those spankings. They may have caused me some tears as a child but certainly did not scar me or make me a "violent person." I always knew my parents loved me very much. As an adult, I had a wonderful relationship with them.
When it came time to bring up my own children, attitudes about childrearing had changed so much that I became confused and ineffectual and most parents I know are in the same boat. They follow every wind of doctrine espoused by childrearing experts or psychologists. Think about it!! Are kids better or worse human beings than they were 50 years ago? The kids who come to my house to visit my teenagers are almost universally emotionally crippled in some way. The rare exceptions (I can count on one hand) have been those raised with traditional values. I think psychology has a lot to answer for. Thanks, John Rosemond, for bringing back some sanity!...more info
- Another nasty psycho
From what primordial slime does this dinosaur crawl from? What university would grant a degree to someone with such a miniscule intelligence?
"I believe the hand is the only appropriate means of administering a spanking. I don't believe there's a good reason to think that a child who is properly spanked will be confused when the same parent who spanked him with his hand embraces him with loving arms when the spanking is over."
Right. And the earth is flat.
The tragedy is that some parents apparently agree with him and his ilk. The legitimcy of Christianity as a religion is being devastated by these morons - a great pity.
The only use for this book is to give Rosemond a sharp smack on the head in the vain hope that it might knock a little sense into him. Faint Hope!
This stuff is sick....more info
- Another child/baby beating book
This is another absurd baby beating book. The New testament does not endorse any hitting of children as there is not one verse that mentions beating, whipping, or spanking children. Causing guilt in children makes for an adult with a lot of problems. "p.111 "When Grandma disciplined, she was trying to hurt her child's feelings; she was trying to make her child feel guilty. Grandma understood that unless emotional pain was associated with misbehavior, misbehavior would continue unchecked." This only promotes a low self-esteem in a child and will produce a timid, underacheiver later.
- Author should lose his license
For a professional in the mental health field to be advocating for hitting children is as egregious as a domestic violence shelter worker to advocate for spouses to slap one another around. Rosemond is unprofessional, unethical and clueless to the natural, biological needs of children. If Rosemond wants to see an "end" to the "outrageous behavior pouring forth from today's children" he should read Saharasia by James DeMeo, anything by James Prescott or Jan Hunt and learn that the causes of and origins of this "outrageous behavior" come from poor parent-child attachments, low nurturance, low affection, lack of breastfeeding, lack of baby carrying and of course the use of physical violence to control children. Violence begets violence. Maybe Rosemond should be more worried about the "outrageous behavior pouring forth" from parents who hit, threaten and scream at children and from himself- a mental health professional who advocates assaulting assaulting vulnerable, young human beings whose brains are developing and forming. If Rosemond paid attention in college science he would have learned that the act of striking a child causes corrosive Cortisol to flood the child's bloodstream, which can, over time, depress the immune system and cause the brain to wire itself for high stress and anxiety and desensitize the child to the suffering of others. Read Jan Hunt, John Taylor Gatto, Pam Leo, Naomi Aldort and Jesus' Golden Rule......more info
- Void of Grace
Rosemond and his fan club were raised by control freaks and must fear they may not have the power over their children that they've were waiting for the chance to have all their lives. So-called Christian advice void of grace is nothing but a disgrace. ...more info
- How to Mess Your Child Up 101
You people who go by the advice of these spanking books and people who write these books haven't got a clue as to how much damage you can do to your child! I wish I wasn't hit as a child. Not only by my parents but I was hit every day in school by bullies who are hit by their own parents! I sure feel sorry for those bullies' children! I'm glad to know that I won't have to answer to God for believing children should be hit! Instead, I'm with the opinion of Jesus who only shows love towards children and would NEVER hit a child under any circumstance! This book mixes love and violence in the SICKEST way possible! What kid would want to receive a hug from a parent who has just spanked him or her? Just hearing a child's cry from a spanking rips my heart apart! When I see a parent hitting their child in the store and I hear the child cry, it brings back such bad memories it makes me feel like crying myself - even today at age 40. STOP the violence, STOP these kinds of books and STOP creating bad memories that will surely last a lifetime!...more info
- Denying Psychologists
I still stand amazed at the small group within the field of psychology who still hold on to their own denial of their childhoods as well as denial of evidence from research by the psychological body as a whole. John Rosemond is one of those who are trapped by their own conscious and subconscious conflicts and he carries it forth in this tome which he calls Christian-based. It is sad when scientists turn their backs on viable evidence which is contrary to their religious beliefs. For too long the church has taught that the Bible (Old and New) are the textbook for Christian behavior. The New Covenant is called that for the obvious reason that Chsits's death and resurrction introduced a NEW way (New Covenant) which neutralized (made to be of no effect) the Old way (Old Testament). Hopefully John will study himself out of the quagmire of attempting to make the TWO Covenants as one for a Christian's behavior in child rearing as well as other Christian behavior. Violence is OUT in the New. There are many superior child rearing books on the market which do not adhere to the separation emotionally of child and parent, much less adhering to the old barbaric hitting which is called discipline. Discipline meants to bring one along one's side and teach by example. Look for those books to help you raise your children in the LOVE of Christ and the family. Contact me if you like for information or dialogue. Jerry Townsend, School Psychologist (retired), Christian Minister (retired) at Jerrnan@aol.com...more info
- Parenting by the Book by john Rosemond
John Rosemond's advise is not only Biblical but echoed by his own experience as a successful husband,father,grandfather and child pyschologist...I so agree with his parenting suggestions...As a former teacher and mother of 3 boys (all VERY different, by the way) the whole arguement of "self esteem" vs "self respect" rings true. All children feel more secure when they are given perimeters. Roseman does not deny the child's feelings; he guides the child to realize that the world does not revolve around him/her. This is one the problems of today's parenting: fear of hurting a child's "self esteem" gives way to permisiveness and results in a "me first" sense of entitlement within the child. When children learn "self respect" they also learn to have an awareness for others which yields to a certain self control demonstrated as a reguard for the feelings of others. The end result is a win-win scenario. A child who understands the necessity of a "time and place" for feelings learns to navigate the world with a sense of purpose and discipline which ultimately and paradoxically gives them the control they yearn for.
- Viewing Children As Annoying Animals To Control By Fear
Another buck being made by appealing to the need to control and belittle children, rather than guide and cherish. Rosemond's niche audience seems to find his sarcastic view of children funny. It wasn't funny a while back when he stated that children are lower than dogs--because dogs are born to please but children are born to be pleased. And his rhetoric isn't funny now. It's all the same 'everything was better pre-1960' mumbo jumbo.
Knowing his disdain for children, I fear the child on the cover is about to be tossed into the ocean to see if he'll sink or swim while Rosemond laughs all the way to the bank....more info
I found this book very helpful, If applied right there is no harm done and the child will look up to you. If applied wrong yes there could be damage that is why you need to use the Lord in your life also and prayer. This book helped me so much, and in applying all that was taught I found out there were some disorders in one of my children, Praise God! for directing us to this book to help us to understand the ways of the Lord, better. You have to do the work! Not just spank the child! You have to use The ways of the Lord, not just throw out punishment! God will follow through if you follow him. NO one is perfect and we all make mistakes, I think this was a awesome book and now I have older children that want this book also so I am ordering it for my older children that have children. Thanks John Rosemond for this book! Dawn D...more info
This is the best parenting book I have read. It is all based on wonderful Christian principles....more info
- Great biblical perspective on parenting
I'm not surprised that the opinions on this book are either one extreme or the other. That's what happens when you take a biblical approach to things.
This is a great book. I have no idea what people who gave it 1 star were reading. He doesn't advocate spanking and he doesn't show disrespect to children. He simply points out that our society has gone overboard in centering every aspect of the family on the children. Given the mess that families are in, that clearly isn't working. Children are a wonderful part of the family, but the marriage has to come first. If more parents would realize this there would be less broken and divorced families.
Thanks for the reminder, John....more info
- Rosemond shows once again, that he is of this world-it's all about profit.
John Rosemond has shown once again, that he is of this world. His newest book is another attempt to gain even more profits-more earthly possesions, and at the cost of well-meaning Christian parents and their children. Would you take your precious gift from God to a doctor who repeatedly ignores the latest medical research, that is based on years of long term studies? This is what Rosemond(again!) does in his efforts to convince people that the only way to bring up children, is the old fahioned way-before what he terms pop-psychology entered the parenting world. This is dangerous advice, and very unprofessional. As a devout Christian, I see that God has placed His Children in my hands to care for, guide and love. I want the best for them,and that is Heaven. I cannot see achieving that if I followed this book's reccomendations. Perhaps a trip to the ER, or CPS coming to my door would be the result, but not Heaven. If God loving and God fearing parents want a book that will help them achieve getting their child to Heaven, while maintaining sanity and peace here on Earth, there are many other books that will help. Three books that come to mind, are Biblical Parenting by Crystal Lutton , The Discipline Book by Dr. Sears, and Kids,Parents, and Power Struggles by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. I have always wanted to like Rosemond's books, as I have liked some of his advice columns, but he is just too over the top dangerous with his advice. Once again, reading Rosemond, I get a feeling that Satan is guiding his pen, not our Heavenly Father. Just my humble review, from a veteran mom....more info
- item not available
I don't like giving a low review to the seller when the item wasn't available, but I wasn't given a reason for that. Was it the publisher or seller's issue?...more info
- So ingenious, yet practical!
I must say I've been a victim of modern day psychology and parenting to build self-esteem. Realizing my house was out of control and my kids ran the show, I got this book. What a wake up call. Two weeks later of reality, traditional parenting we're already seeing a difference. My wish is that all parents read this book....more info
- I would give this book zero stars if it were possible
I received this book as a gift and based on the book's description, I was eager to begin reading it.
I soon realized, however, that 90% of this sad excuse for literature is complete garbage.
John Rosemond's approach is neither biblically nor psychologically sound. I can't believe some people actually take parenting advice from this man.
I took this book to Hastings to sell it back and I got something like fifty cents.
More than fair in my opinion....more info
- Parenting by the Book
Much wisdom for raising healthy kids/grandkids; shows the need to go back to THE Book and not all of today's pop philosophy. Highly recommended to any parent....more info
- Enjoy your family!
John Rosemond's sensible and solid advice frees families to enjoy each other instead of fighting and refighting the same discipline battles. If you are experiencing crisis conditions in your home you may want to read his The New Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children or Making the "Terrible" Twos Terrific first. All of his books emphasize practical methods for raising secure, confident, responsible kids....more info
- Too bad
It's too bad some parents will read this book and miss out on the real sweetness that the parent/child relationship has to offer. Hitting has no place in loving relationships. Please choose another manual for parenting, one that builds bonds of love. There are plenty of parents out there who are doing a magnificent job, raising terrific kids without physically punishing them. These families don't get the credit or the media attention they deserve. Like I said, it's too bad....more info
- More love, not control, for our precious children!
I find it very saddening to read of John Rosemond advocating spanking children when they don't do `the right thing'. We as adults execute our daily lives according to a million and one rules we have learned by growing up in society. Until the child has learned how to conduct themselves `appropriately', it is humiliating, demeaning and controlling to spank the child, irrespective of the amount of physical pain that entails. The child will grow up fearing their parents' sudden and demoralising actions and will need to vent their anger in some way, either against themselves, or others as they grow up. This is the `outrageous behaviour that is pouring forth from our children' that Rosemond is referring to - the release of rage at having been controlled and made to feel like anything less than a human being.
I'd like to read a book on exercising compassion, patience, understanding and simple, warm love, all the attributes that we hope to see modelled in our children as they grow into adults. The best way to lead is by example and any parent who tries this approach will know the huge dividends it brings.
- The Bible does not mandate corporal punishment
Rosemond's book is very poor advice for parents. Hitting children is very counter-productive.
Christian fundamentalists are the only religious group that claim hitting children is a religious duty. They base their claim on a few Old Testament verses, but Jews don't interpret them as mandating corporal punishment and in fact Israel has banned all corporal punishment of children.
Biblical scholar Samuel Martin has made a detailed study of the original Hebrew texts in his book, Thy Rod and Thy Staff They Comfort Me: Christians and the Spanking Controversy, and shows that these fundamentalists are way off-base in their claims about the Bible.
We also recommend Teresa Whitehurst's book, How Would Jesus Raise a Child?
Children's Healthcare Is a Legal Duty
- common sense
John Rosemond writes with what was once called "common sense", a now all too uncommon trait of modern psychology. Well written, wise, biblical, practical information on training happy, healthy children to become happy, healthy adults....more info
- Spanking is ABUSE
I was spanked as a child and as an adult I feel afraid instead of loving and open. Spanking teaches the child to bow to authority instead of having their own will- this is why Hitler got away with murdering so many. There were too many people who had been spanked (spanking and beating are the same thing) so they could not stand up and say this is wrong because there own experience like that of Hitler was full of violence from their own parents! The ones that were able to stand up against regimes have been treated without spanking/violence. I wish I could give this book no stars. This book has nothing to do with God....more info
- This is a war against children attitude of parenting
I wonder if I said only use techniques of preparing food that are thousands of years old, if people would think that was worth the price of a book? This book by John Rosemond is so old fashioned and out of date with all modern science of brain development, that it is actually silly. Sometimes science does help us understand ourselves better and how an infant's brain develops is one of those. But not to Mr. Rosemond. To him what was good for the people who thought menstruation was unclean and selling daughters into slavery was okay, works fine for childrearing. But then maybe he likes little automatons as future citizens for our country.
If you buy this book, you have wasted your money. If you raise your child using this book, you will damage a life. ...more info
- This makes sense!
"Parenting by the Book", by John Rosemond is all you'll ever need to address parenting and family issues. Everything in the book just makes sense. It deals with principles, not specifics so it fits every situation. Of course, "The Book" is the Bible and there truly is nothing new under the sun when it comes to parenting methods that are consistent, loving, and honorable. This would be especially valuable for couples that want to be on the same page with their parenting styles and motivations....more info
- A wonderful read for ALL parents! No spanking encouraged!
This is an absolutely wonderful book that produced results in my home within 2 days! The other reviewers expressed that Dr. Rosemond is advocating spanking and child abuse! He clearly states that "I am not advocating spanking" so I do not know what book these folks read but it wasnt this one. I find that I constantly refer to the term "Post Modern Psychobabble" on a weekly basis. I actually starting reading this book a few weeks before my 6 year old sons teacher expressed her in "professional" opinion that my son was ADHD! My husband and I were blown away by this because she had only known him for 2 months and only had 14 students in her class. 5 of the students were "diagnosed" by her as ADHD. When we told her that she was wrong and that she needed to get a hold of her classroom and show authority when dealing with my child she agreed to try. By the end of the school year, she came to me and apologized and said that after we pointed out to her that he was trying to push her buttons and only needed her to act in an authoritave way with him that she saw nothing but wonderful behavior from him. You see, he has never been a behaviorial problem for any other teacher nor for us at home because we apply the principles of respect for God, Family and community. The funny thing is that one of the reasons she based her "diagnosis" was the fact the at Art time he became disruptive because he does not like art (none of us in the family are artistic), however, I told her that with his love of reading she should give him a book on Van Gogh or something of the sort. She followed suit and realized that he has a great ammount of art appreciation. You see, we as a society have decided that the over stressed teachers must be right and a majority of us tend to run out and put our children on some sort of medication for fear of what people will think of us and our children. I write this review specifically for those parents who question those who suggest your child has ADD or ADHD. I am not saying there are children who dont need meds, but if you are in the slightest of doubt, please purchase and read this book and give it a few months of its applications, you may see a difference in your child/or teacher. Make sure that you stand up for your children, teachers and administrators are not the authority, God is!...more info
- Suffer the little children....
"Biblical children rearing...worked well for thousands of years."
It doesn't work in modern day Johnston county, NC, where according to the News and Observer's Mandy Locke "A few years ago, Lynn Paddock sought Christian advice on how to discipline her growing brood of adopted children."
Lynn Paddock's trial for the first degree murder of her adopted son, Sean, is underway. The prosecutors argue that the child was tortured, using, among other strategies, ones learned through books on Biblical based discipline.
Rosemond is just plain wrong to perpetuate violence against children....more info
- Truly dangerous claptrap
As a clinical psychologist myself, I want to assure potential readers of this dreadful book that the fact that Rosemond has a credential as a psychologist essentially means nothing! All kinds of truly crazy people are psychologists. They were smart enough to go to a school and get a degree that might lead you to think they have some special wisdom about parenting or life, but the truth is they simply completed some academic requirements, which tells you nothing whatsoever about the quality of their counsel. Rosemond is advocating child abuse in this book, in the guise of professional wisdon. He defies the mountains of research on spanking: "No compelling evidence exists that might even come close to supporting the notion that spankings cause children to believe hitting is an acceptable way of dealing with frustration or conflict. The most aggressive children, researchers have found, tend to be those who are never spanked! One study, done a number of years ago, found that aggression in children was most closely associated with permissive parenting." This is patently false. The most consistent finding in 100 studies on spanking is that it leads to more aggression. And, of course, Rosemond does not identify the "one study" about "permissive parenting" he alludes to, demonstrating a complete lack of integrity and truth in his claims. Avoid this truly dangerous claptrap!...more info
What an eye opener! As a mother and a teacher, I have seen the effects of a "child centered" home. As we stray further and further away from God's Word, families/societies across the world are suffering the consequences. Parents - if you are worn out, full of guilt, or just at a loss as to how to raise your child the way God intended - read this book!!!...more info
- A good wake up and shake up for parents
John has done a fabulous job in giving parents sound advice for raising kids. This book is tough in places, but only because it needs to be. The soft, touchy, tiptoe, feely approach espoused by modern psychology for parenting just isn't working. The quickest way to make a child feel insecure is to let that child think that he or she has control over their parents (a scenario all too common today). John makes it clear where the control should be, and this is all done in a loving manner. I was surprised (though not really when I think about it) when I read the unfavourable views for this book. Such people have been conned by the psychobabble which John talks about in his book. I am looking forward to John's new book on parenting due to be released next year....more info
- Rosemond deserves a spanking for this terrible book
Rosemond makes many assertions that have no basis in the reality of our knowledge of child development. For example, he says that children are by nature anti-social [p.117], and he advocates hitting as a form of discipline even at the age of infancy. Oh, and God told him to write this book, he says? Can anyone imagine Jesus hitting little children? The Old Testament laws urged the stoning to death of disrespectful sons [Deuteronomy] and adulterous spouses. Will his next title be, "Stone piles for every town!"?
The man has been on a rant for years favoring spanking, paddling and other forms of corporal punishment, positions not supported by his own professional organization, the American Psychological Association.
There are far better guides available for parents wanting to raise healthy children with good values....more info
John Rosemond is a disgrace to the medical profession. He is ignoring the findings of the majority of psychologists and makes up his own ideas on parenting. I don't know where he gets his ideas from, but they're not from the Bible. He even admits it! In this book he says: "In every single instance where the word 'rod' is used in connection with the discipline of children, it is preceded by the article 'the'; therefore, it is being used figuratively, metaphorically--not in reference to something capable of causing physical pain or injury." But soon after he says this: "I happen to believe that a properly administered spanking can be an appropriate example of the rod." This psychologist needs a psychiatrist!...more info
- Child abuse
By reading following quote you can see how distorted and dysfunctional the book is - sick, cruel and pure child abuse:
"With toddlers, there are certainly times when a swift pop or two to
the rear, without a prior conversation or even so much as a warning,
will be appropriate." p.220
By hitting another human being you will completely remove the actual teaching experience - communication!
Put parents who hit children in jail - NO CHILD SHOULD EVER BE HIT!
Parents have no right to hit another human being.
Books of recommendation: Natural Child by Jan Hunt. Attachment parenting by Dr. William Sears. ...more info
- Biblically correct
Sorry that so many other reviewers didn't take time to actually read this book. Or perhaps it's that they are offended by what God says. The Bible says many will turn away from wisdom and listen to others say just what they want to hear. Read the book - and the Bible. Get the facts. (Lost one star because he tends to go on long about some issues I thought he could have taken less time on.)
BTW, I, too, was lovingly disciplined as a child (in the 60s no less!) by kind, caring parents who spanked me when needed (not too often), then followed up with hugs and a good discussion about what I'd done wrong and what I could do to avoid same in the future. I love them and appreciate them for it today. Abuse is not discipline, and discipline is not abuse. Love protects, sometimes by discipline. Fear or rejection leads many parents to abuse their children by letting them run wild. Those children learn only that mom and dad are weak and afraid of them. Children want guidelines and proof that their parents care enough to follow through with discipline if rules are broken. Too-soft parents lead to "ADHD" afflicted chilren with behavioral problems....more info
- Phony book
This book is stupid and full of crazy, made-up ideas. As a dad I'm nonplussed at the (unsupported) claim modern fathers are "milquetoast" - the author apparently believes that if you're not slapping buttocks, ignoring your child's wants, and refusing to be their friend you don't measure up. I disagree. Who would want their infants and young children to be friendless from birth? That's what Rosemond proposes. Sick stuff. I also disagree with the idea that marriage is the primary relationship in the family. Once there are babies they have to take precedence because they can't take care of themselves. A parent's relationship with a child lasts for as long as the parent lives. Marriages often don't last. But, they're more likely to last if both parents put their children's welfare first. The author was raised by a single mom and isn't qualified to say "marriage comes first".
As a Christian I find the emphasis on harsh punishment to be out of place. Jesus, mercy, forgiveness, peacemaking, patience, is nowhere in this book. Instead what you get is fascist parenting.
The book claims Sweden had more child abuse after banning spanking, but that's because after the ban, spanking was included in child abuse statistics! So of course the rates of "abuse" went up. Also, the book claims most of the research on spanking, over 100 studies, are wrong. It claims 6 year olds throw "vile curses" at parents and teachers, and 3 year olds are causing a "hidden domestic abuse epidemic". And the author claims he wrote all this crazy stuff as an "assignment" from God. Give me a break.
Come on people! Do you want to listen to this nonsense? Parenting is a relationship that requires being involved in a caring way, communicating and sharing love, and protecting and guiding children. This book will only give you excuses to beat and ignore your kids and become a dictator to them. This is unChristian and will lead to violent, unhappy individuals who will be drawn into addictions and crime.
- Wonderful parenting book!!!
I find it very interesting that 27 out of the 28 negative reviews were made the first week of June 2008. A little fishy.
This book is an excellent guide to parenting. Firm, but not too strict. I love the example of "Hey, in a ball game when you foul, you don't get a second chance, do you?" To many sports obsessed kids, this example works perfect. Why should they follow the rules of a game better than house rules??? Which are more important in the long run?
Too many parents confuse love with overindulgence today. There's nothing wrong with teaching your children a little self control....more info
- Got wife and I on the same page
We know we can't look to Maury, Oprah, Montell or Dr. Phil for reliable advice. We can only look to God. We know many families that raise their children this way and many that don't. It isn't hard to see the difference. We are going to raise ours "By The Book" and pray many others do as well....more info
The author of this book is horribly wrong. A Quote from his book:
p.216 Rosemond says:
"The usual anti-spanking argument consists of three equally misleading assertions:
1. Spankings are likely to escalate into child abuse.
2. Spankings teach children that it's okay to hit people who upset you.
3. There is always an alternative to spanking.
Not one of these claims is grounded in solid science or even good anecdotal evidence."
Spanking doesn't 'escalate' to child abuse, spanking IS child abuse, and often does go beyond just spanking.
Spanking DOES teach children it is okay to hit people who upset you and that it is how you deal with anger.
There are many many alternatives to spanking. I know because I and MANY other mothers and fathers have never spanked their child. It does NOT need to be done and is a bad decision.
PLEASE do not purchase this book. The author is ignoring YEARS of studies proving him wrong....more info
- Too bad I can't give it zero stars
"In any given situation, a child is inclined, by human nature, to do the wrong thing, not the right thing." p.189
If that is the way this person thinks of children, he shouldn't have anything to do with children to begin with. Until when are we going to keep tolerating this kind of behavior towards our most vulnerable citizens? I know about 4 year olds dialing 911 thus saving their parent's life. No one should come to this world to be received by nuts who think like this and use God for their monetary gain. God loves children, unlike John Rosemond. His writings are not Biblical in any way....more info
- Good instincts, poor application
Rosemond has many good ideas, but his ideas about discipline hark back more to the early 20th century than they do to the early 21st. Use of physical force to impose the parent's will on their child serves to enhance an external locus of control focus for the child. What the parent should be encouraging is an internal locus of control so the child develops self discipline. As long as the parents set themselves up as the absolute authority children will look to them as enforcers rather than mentors. Rosemond is right that children need discipline, but he confuses punishment with discipline. It is quite possible to raise emotionally healthy children without spanking....more info
- Teach Them Self Respect not Self Esteem!
I find it very fascinating that John Rosemond's other books, with the SAME philosophy, are not deemed evil as the one where the word "biblical" is in the title.
More people need to get back to Biblical principals when it comes to living our lives including parenting. The devil has done a great job of confusing and getting us to buy into the lies of parenting. Are our kids better behaved now? No, and we need some back to basics (Bible) teaching to help us rear our kids to be productive rather than non-productive citizens of this world. Just the other day there was an article in the paper for a seminar for employer for Generation Why? And it headlined instructing employers how to motivate the Generation Y because they are so unmotivated. Have you ever seen a seminar for this is previous generations? This book should be handed out when babies are born....more info
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