The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict
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First published in 1991, Ken Sande's The Peacemaker is now available on audio CD. With an understanding that conflict and disagreement are unavoidable in today's culture, listeners will find out how to go beyond resolving conflict to true, life-changing reconciliation with family members, co-workers, and fellow believers. This comprehensive and practical theology is biblically based and offers listeners useful suggestions that are easily applied to any relationship needing reconciliation.
Bible-Saturated Approach to Conflict Resolution Ken Sande's The PeaceMaker is a wonderful resource for Christians who are seeking to honor God in their relationships with others. I have never seen a book on relational conflict which is so biblically-grounded. There are several pages in the Scripture index at the back of the book and these texts are not used in a haphazard way but form the foundation of the principles Sande explains in the book. This book is nothing less than a Practical Theology of human relationships.
The first three chapters of the book are a challenge to glorify God through relationships, looking at relational conflict as a opportunity to testify to God's grace in your life. The key phrase from these chapters is, "Every time you encounter a conflict, you show what you really think of God." (p. 33).
The next three chapters explore the motivations and unmet needs which often lead to conflict. These chapters encourage the reader to examine himself or herself and his or her role in a given conflict. The best part of this section to me was the "Seven A's of Confession" which outline carefully a God-honoring way toward asking forgiveness of another.
Chapters 7 through 9 explore how we can help restore others who have sinned against us. These chapters are a call to honesty, grace and humility. The reader is guided toward an approach that emphasizes working hard to understand others so that all issues can be dealt with in an honest and complete way.
The last three chapters put the principles of the first nine chapters into practice through looking carefully at how to resolve conflict for the benefit of all. Practical examples are scattered throughout the book but have a special place in this last section as we see how the biblical principles of peacemaking work in real life situations.
If Christians (myself included) took up the principles outlined in this book, the emotional health and spiritual vitality of the church would increase dramatically. But the road of discipleship is hard. It is not for those who are impatient with slow progress.
BEST on restoring Christian bonds! This book truly gives the biblical view of forgiveness. If you desire to restore the bond in ANY relationship that has been broken-especially among your brothers and sisters in Christ, you would be greatly helped and encouraged by the reading of this book. Marriages, friendships, business relationships, etc... Some offenses we should just overlook. But some offenses need to be addressed in a loving way and dealt with rightly (and not according to tradition). Certain bonds are too important to just cast aside, especially when among believers. We need to do all we can, in the strength of Christ, and in the love of Christ to help bring restoration to broken relationships. We may find that we had a part in the broken relationship that needs to be addressed, too. First we need to see our sin ("get the log out of our eye"), then we can show our brother his sin("get the speck out of his eye"), in love. If you understand what Christ's forgiveness is, you will be willing to show your brother forgiveness, upon his repentance- and perhaps yours, too. ...more info
Way to grow and glow! Attended the seminar and the book adds to my skills and reconciliation....more info
A Must Read for Handling Difficult Relationships! The Peacemaker provided practical, Biblical principles that will guide anyone on how to successfully mend or establish a great relationship with spouses, children, coworkers, church members, neighbors, and other difficult people in their lives. Ken's experience and knowledge gives a look at the different areas of conflict. Then, he provides simplistic, yet effective steps in resolving all types of conflicts. This is a book that every parent, leader, teacher, pastor, and employer should read!...more info
A Refreshing Exposition on God's View of Resolving Conflict This book is truly a masterful expositional work. Ken Sande explains the ministry of reconciliation all believers have been given (II Corinthians 5:18 ) in such a way that the reader comes away with a feeling of empowerment to use scripture as a guide for the everyday problems encountered by a believer. Ken Sande's work in The Peacemaker truly can change the way that a believer views conflict and even God's word.
The truth contained in Sande's work is such as can only come from a faithful reading and exposition of the word of God. A resource manual so full of scripture, it as if Sande is saying to the reader, "this is not my idea, it comes from the word of God." Throughout his book Sande gives the reader citations to God's word and other Godly individuals as those individuals point the reader back to God's word. Such a faithful use of Scripture is what is missing in so many other "Christian" books.
Sande's book is so different from other such "Christian" books because Sande does not start from an idea and use scripture to support that idea, rather, his entire thesis is: "God's word tells us this is how we must resolve conflict so this is what we should do." This is such a refreshing view of Scripture. God's word is not something we must use to support our creative theses, but rather it is to be used for "teaching, reproof, correction and training in righteousness." (II Timothy 3:16) That is why The Peacemaker is such a powerful work, it is merely an exposition of what God's word says about the "ministry of reconciliation" we have been given.
The Peacemaker is completely submitted to the sufficiency of Scripture to resolve all of the problems inherent in life. This is the Biblical view of conflict. Sande even discusses complicated Scriptures such as 1 Corinthians 6 and explains, using Scripture, what the verse means and how it applies to believers in their situation.
Throughout the entire book Sande makes it clear that Peacemaking works in all situations. He makes only one real distinction in types of conflict and the approach to resolve them, the difference of conflict with a believer with an unbeliever. The Peacemaker is very clear to indicate that believers should always seek to glorify God and that the steps of personal conflict resolution are clearly the same in both classes of conflict. Sande makes clear, however, that the expectations of the other party must be lowered when dealing with an unbeliever (the believer must always approach his responsibility in the same way). For instance, it is necessary to confess of your sins and contribution to the conflict; however, when dealing with an unbeliever,forgiveness cannot truly be granted because an unbeliever has never experienced God's forgiveness. Also, one cannot expect a true confession to come from an unbeliever and, if it does, they have probably come to know the Lord and the category of conflict changes.
The other major difference when dealing with unbelievers is that the "assisted peacemaking" steps are different. An unbeliever is not under the authority of the church; therefore there is not an appeal that can be made to the church. However, Sande makes an interesting observation that the believer must still seek the counsel of his church when appealing to a legal right that is in conflict before turning the unbeliever over to the authority of the state. This is a very important observation, because the Bible gives the church judicial authority over believers. Even though a right may be legal, it may not be biblical and the believer must seek the counsel of his church before proceeding against an unbeliever.
The Peacemaker leaves the reader feeling empowered to incorporate God's word into even the most common of everyday occurrences - conflict. This opens the door to how God in His word has given his people practical guidance on all aspects of life. This book causes you to view conflict as an opportunity rather than a hindrance. It truly breathes life into the words of James: "[c]ount it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds..." (James 1:2) ...more info
Essential for every pastor A veteran pastor recommended this to me. It kept me from being fired as a pastor....more info
The PeaceMaker This book is the standard for resolving personal conflict in a biblical manner. This book has assisted me personally in various levels of relational conflicts from home to church....more info
Have Relationship Problems? This is a terrific book. It helps you understand and strengthen relationship problems. Manage conflicts better. Worth the reading....more info
The Peacemaker Excellent Book! As a Christian, I want to work on being a peacemaker the way Christ wants us to be. Ken Sande gives scripture to back up everything he says. I would recommend this book for anyone....more info
The PeaceMaker by Ken Sande Outstanding, Biblically sound advice - practical and doable according to our willingness to submit to God's authority and His loving wisdom. Very well organized - easy to read (don't forget to read all scripture!)...more info
it was good but... great info but not what I was looking for. I needed info for my family and this is more for large groups like churches and not families....more info
The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict This book is a classic and should be a must read for church leadership....more info
Great teaching This is excellent teaching with real tools to work at peacemaking and conflict resolution. Solid Biblical basis. I highly recommend this book and the teaching....more info
Excellent book A practical Biblical approach to making peace with others. Well written and very helpful. Strongly recommended for anyone who wants to improve their skills in conflict resolution....more info
Practical helps for restoring relationships PeaceMaker is where the rubber hits the road - it's the link between knowledge about reconciliation and actually achieving it in practice. In my personal experience this book provided the basis that prevented a church split and is in the ongoing process of RESTORING relationships where both/all sides of a conflict were severely hurt. PeaceMaker has practical application to resolving many different types of conflict. I recomend it highly to anyone interested in "fixing" broken relationships! Ken says in his book that understanding how we are responding to conflict is often the first step to resolving that conflict. This is very true!...more info
The Peacemaker The Peacemaker is an excellent book. I was asked to read it for work, and half way through I bought my own copy. The peacemaker takes a systematic approach to handling conflicts biblically, it's not about winning or losing, but doing it God's way and working through conflicts. It's a keeper!
Peacemaker This book takes a good biblical look at how to resolve conflict at home and in the church....more info
How Christians Should Handle Conflict This God-centered book will help you confront your own issues while you learn how to handle conflict the way God would want you to.
A must read for all who breathe There is conflict in homes, workplaces,families,schools and yes even among Christians in churches. Biblically based- it holds up an accountability level for all. ...more info
Great book, great reference This book is very helpful to read over when you are not in a conflict and I can only guess how much more you could get out of it if you were in a conflict. This will help you with everything from small conflicts that should be overlooked to something that has torn a family apart.
Ken Sande uses many applicable Bible verses and a well written summary with questions at the end to make this book a great reference for any conflict. If one carefully reads through this book I don't know how they would be able to continue on in conflict with anyone.
I would recommend this book to anyone and I think that the world would be in a much better place with a mentality that the Peacemaker instills. If you are hesitant at all about the book you can download the first chapter and read it for yourself on their website www.peacemaker.net...more info
Excellent Book This book is very helpful. It is a difficult read in that there is much to absorb in every page. Best to read in short spurts and informative for any person dealing with conflict....more info
Peacemakers Our church has been doing this study on being a Peacemaker. So far it has been a very good study.
Life-changing! The principles in The Peacemaker are life-changing, biblical and even, dare I say, counter-cultural in their approach to conflict resolution. I read the companion book, Peacemaking Women, last year and it changed my life and my marriage. My husband noticed the change in my responses when we had a conflict and now he is leading a class on The Peacemaker at our church! Every week, people approach him and share their own Peacemaking stories. The approach is not complicated, but profound and centered in the gospel. It uncovers the underlying causes of conflict and suggests principles of conflict resolution in which everyone wins and God is glorified. I recommend the study of this book in every church or parachurch, especially to those in leadership roles. Pastors are trained in preaching and teaching, but often untrained in one of the most common and destructive occurances in the church--conflict. Most church members are peace-loving, but have no idea how to become what Jesus mentions in the beatitude that says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall inherit the earth." The book explains the difference between "peace-fakers", peace-breakers" and peacemakers in our response to conflict....more info
PeaceMake Excellent guide to Biblical principles for conflict resolution and personal relationship enhancement.
The Peace Maker By Ken Sande I have been attending a bible study at my church which is based on the book, The Peace Maker by Ken Sande. I was so impressed with the book and with the study that I ordered a copy of the book for each of my three adult children. The book is well-written and is an "easy" read. I only wish I could have had access to the book thirty or forty years ago! Any adult could benefit from the reading and study of this excellent book....more info
Profound, yet profoundly simple... A friend recommended this book to me. Whew...it is excellent! It is a very gospel, God-centered book. Many of the points directly confront my sinful attitudes as well as comfort me in the power and work of God. It cuts as well as heals. At the end of each chapter there are questions and a section to journal and "go on record with God." Everyone ought to read this book.
We had recently had a seminar presented by Peacemaker Ministries. It was basically this book in a condensed format. Extremely edifying and encouraging. You will be blessed by the truths presented in this book.
Helpful We are finishing this book as a couple. It has several points that should help us resolve some issues....more info
Excellent Next to the Bible, this is the most influential book I've ever read! If you apply what's written, you will be transformed...more info
Good practical advice, caution with the religious discussions. Ken Sande is an engineer, attorney and conciliator. This book provides practical advice for reconciliation between parties who are in conflict. Most of the advice consists of basic communication skills such as listen to the other person, agree in areas that you can, try to understand from the other person's perspective, etc.
He also follows the Biblical steps for resolution of conflict such as overlook minor conflict, go to the other person directly, get one or two others to go along and finally tell it to the church. His points on overlooking conflict are very good and this is not something that is taught frequently, if at all, in many churches today. The methodology for mediation and arbitration can be helpful and Sande especially touches on ethical responsibilities to avoid exposure to liability.
Born-again Christians will probably have some difficulty with the theology in the book. Sande is a lawyer, not a theologian. His definition of Christianity seems very broad. He quotes Justice Anthony Scalia, a member of the Roman Catholic church, as an authoritative figure on the role of Christianity and conflict/litigation. At times, it seems Sande views anyone associated with a church as a Christian. Perhaps he is intentionally broad in order to make the book accessible to as many people as possible. He does not seem to believe that conversion brings about a change in a person in that "If any man be in Christ he is a new creature. Old things are passed away, behold all things are become new." There is no discussion of the influence and power of the Holy Spirit to make Christian fruit including peaceableness which is not something we try to do in our own strength.
In addition, Sande does not seem to see a change from the Old Testament to the New Testament. Thus, when dealing with many issues such as litigation, he relies heavily on O.T. scriptures. He ends up with the view that Christians can and should sue one another in certain circumstances and thus sees some scriptural commands as more of a suggestion than a command. He does state that the church should be involved in a conflict between Christians before litigation occurs and that appropriate discipline may be necessary but does not specifically address excommunication from the church. He also does not address the scriptural requirement that if someone acts in an evil way, we are not to resist him or her but are required to go further and bless him or her.
All in all, the practical advice is very good. I think you just have to sort through the religious discussions carefully and, of course, test everything against scripture....more info
Very Practical Application We are doing a group study of this book and the way it is written leads to very practial applications and discussions. As we use the techniques we are becoming better communicators, if not peacemakers. I am so glad I bought it and am using it....more info