The Anatomy of Peace

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Like Arbingers international bestseller Leadership and Self-Deception, The Anatomy of Peace helps us see how we actually cause the problems we think are caused by other people. Were trapped by preconceived ideas and self-justifying reactions that keep us from seeing the world clearly and dealing with it effectively. As a result, our efforts to make things better all too often make them worse. Through an intriguing story of parents who are struggling with their children and with problems that have come to consume their lives, we learn from once-bitter enemies the way to find peace whenever war is upon us. Yusuf al-Falah, an Arab, and Avi Rozen, a Jew, each lost his father at the hands of the others ethnic cousins. The Anatomy of Peace is the story of how they came together, how they help warring parents and children to come together, and how we too can find our way out of the struggles that weigh us down.

Customer Reviews:

  • Very efficient and fast service
    Really appreciate how fast you were able to send the books. They were able to be sent out for Christmas presents and got there in plenty of time....more info
  • Peace starts right in your own heart
    The Israeli-Palestinian conflict always seemed to me to be the hardest to resolve. And then this book came along talking about how an Israeli and a Palestinian work together to bring peace in the heart of many people. Basically their story is simple. You can do anything in life in one of two ways. Either you do them with your heart at peace or with your heart at war. In the first case you see others as people who have feelings, expectations, fears just like you. You will be empathic and will focus on building a relationship. In the second case others will be like objects to you. As such they become your target of blame, gossip and justification. Having a heart at peace does not mean that you are soft. With a peaceful heart you can even wage war! The difference being that human value is at the core of any action. Why would you decide to be at war with yourself? Because somewhere in the past you made a decision not to honour a desire. Maybe you wanted to start your own business but thought you didn't have it in you. From then on you will need to justify to yourself why you did not act on your wish. And this has an influence on how you see the world and others. Your heart is at war. Fortunately they also say how peace is attained. That is why the Arbinger Institute is spread all over the world growing at a steady pace. The most important is realizing when your heart is at war, stepping out of that framework and considering how you can add to more peace in the given situation. And this is always followed by action....more info
  • Buy one and give on to all your friends and enemies
    This book is framed in the setting of parents bringing their troubled children to a "wilderness" rehab camp run by an Israeli and a Palestinian. The parents are required to participate in a group therapy encounter session. It is not the typical encounter group, but one which explores the interdependency of family problems.The paradigm is that it is as improtant to prevent future problems as it is to fix current ones.Novel...

    It is a fast read, almost like reading a novel with easily explained readily implemented concepts.

    The goal is for all of us to be more human, more understanding of ourselves and fellow human beings and treat all with respect.

    ...more info
  • Bad Sample
    Books with lots of blurbs
    but no sample of the writing
    make me suspicious
    I want to see a chapter or two
    and the Table of Contents...more info
  • Lifechanging Book
    My husband and I were asked to read this book by a professional, regarding our troubled son. This book was amazing in that it got us to think about relationships in a totally different way. I would have thought I had a heart at peace because of my values, morals, religion, etc. But I see how I've really had a heart at war most of my adult life. How? You'll have to read the book. I guarantee it will be eye opening. I totally recommend this book to EVERYONE. The world would be a better place if we were all "thinking outside the box"....more info
  • It all makes sense!
    This book is a part of a series of books that all tie together, I just finished it today! Everything makes sense and I feel so free now! It teaches you in a story-telling way so the book really sinks in- just awesome wisdom!...more info
  • good book
    I really liked this book. I may have to read it again or at least reference it. It is similar to things I have been exposed to before but new little tidbits for healthy living. I would have liked the seller to let me know the book had a couple of food spills. The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict...more info
  • Could be The Answer
    This is a great book for anyone looking for answers to difficult relationship situations. You can only change yourself and the way you think but that can make all the difference....more info
  • Enlightning
    This is a wonderful book that takes you on a journey of self discovery. It is a must for anyone that really wants to understand why they have problems in any relationship and how to change them for the better. The book is well worth the price, and time to read it. If the things you read are implemented it will change your life!...more info
  • review on peace book
    This is a great book. I bought this book after losing a loved one, going through a horrible breakup and having some hard times at work. This book has a good story line that keeps it understandable and realistic. ...more info
  • Absolutely Amazing Book
    This is an amazing book. The principles and ideas shared in it are simply life changing. The only strange thing is that these principles are shared in story form and sometimes it seems a little too scripted, but if you don't let that bother you, you can really pick up on some things that can improve your life and relationships....more info
  • Even Better
    I was so impressed with their first book that I ordered 2 of this follow-up as soon as I knew about it; and was even more impressed with Anatomy of Peace. It is more personal and even better than I expected. I am giving it as a gift on a regular occasion....more info
  • The Anatomy of Peace
    Do you have relationships that just don't work because of the behavior of "that other person?" Children who rebel? A spouse who is unlovable? A friend who is ornery?

    Here is a book that will change your thinking as you dixcover ideas like "The Better-Than Box" or "The I Deserve Box." It is told in an easy-to-read story format with Lou (who was also the main character in Leadership and Self-Deception) trying to figure out how to straighten out his son. Chapter titles like "Choosing War" or "More Germ Warfare" indicate the battle, and this book will give deep insight into resolutions and methods of victory.

    ...more info
  • peace by piece
    So much common sense is uncommon! Reduces to golden rule stuff, basically the adage of 'don't criticize someone until you've gone a mile in their shoes' (shoes = mind = body, etc). If you've opened the book and read it, you are probably willing and well on the way to appreciating alternate points of view, and seeing solutions rather than problems. Excellent read for reinforcing the patience necessary to implement these strategies in the real world...more info
  • The "Box" - A Powerful Pattern Awareness Technique
    The 'box' is a wonderful toy to help us view our common ways of getting into and out of negative perspectives. Simple awareness and identification of a way of being allows us the choice to move on.

    Thank you Arbinger....more info
  • The Real Deal
    I'm always cautious about reading reviews that glorify books and products-but I can't help but say that this book was the most useful book i have opened in a long long time. Having a passion for psychology I have over the years read a multitude of psychology and relationship books- many of which attempt to explain the roots of human behaviour but fail due to superficial explanations and feel-good case studies. What i discovered in the Anatomy of Peace was not only a deep and profound assesment of the human heart and its root in human suffering and hurt, but a way out of such harmful behavioural patterns. I loved this book!...more info
  • LIfe Changing Book
    This book helped me understand the principles of peace in a way nothing else has. I have always strived to live a Christian life and be a good wife and mother, but this book taught me why and how those doctrines of peace make us happy. It clearly shows the best news of all--that we have chosen to put ourselves in self-defeating boxes and we can choose to step out of those boxes. It is a liberating exercise and will affect all those who come in contact with you. I highly recommend this book for anyone, any faith....more info
  • Definately worth it.
    I have recommended this book for all my friends and family. Easy to read, easy to understand and life changing if put into practice. ...more info
  • Jonesy
    Many books are described as life changing. This is that rare one that is truly life changing. Having read Terry Warner's book, Bonds That Heal, I had some background in the philosophy and was already impressed with the profound changes that were possible if an individual, or company or nation, was committed to living these concepts and making them a part of the fabric of their life.

    That said, as I spoke to others about Bonds That Heal it become apparent that some individuals were intimadated by the depth of thought required to read and understand Mr. Warner's work. Anatomy of Peace is written in parable form that makes it an easy read. Although the story is simple it engages the readers' emotions and sympathy and opens their heart and mind to change.

    I am glad to have found both of these books and recommend them to anyone who is ready for a better life. ...more info
  • definitely worth reading
    The story this book tells is a good one. While it may not have the high quality prose of the best novels, what's important is the message it sends on how to reorient your view of yourself in the world. Your "way of being", according to this book, can help you be happier and more satisfied in your dealings with others, and can encourage others to have more positive relationships with you. ...more info
  • Anatomy of Peace
    This book was recommended to me by a professor at the business school at the University of Wisconsin who teaches leadership and communications. It presents a very simple, accessible and effective paradigm for preventing and resolving conflict, be it in your personal life or in a work environment. I have found it to be very useful. It is one of the few "self-improvement" books that I have gotten my wife to read and we have been able to incorporate many of the tenets in our relationship. It is a quick read with immediate impact....more info
  • Awesome
    I learned so much about myself as I read this book. I had read their first book "Leadership and Self Deception" and loved it. When I found this new book, I had to read it. It was so delightful. I found so many new ways to improve myself and help others at the same time. I am so glad that I found it!...more info
  • Great insights to human nature!
    This book has been enjoyed by me, my husband, my daughter, my son and several of his extended family members.

    Great book. I need to read again so I can digest all the concepts....more info
  • Finding Inner Peace
    This book can be life changing in giving a person effective tools for dealing with relational conflict. It will be revolutionary for many. I have shared it with many friends. ...more info
  • One of those rare "EVERYONE NEEDS A COPY" books
    I read this while taking a train to a meeting, and when I got back on the train, I re-read the entire book all over. I was absolutely blown away. The authors of the book, the Arbinger Institute, have discovered the secret to world peace--and to domestic tranquility in your marriage and family as well.

    Coming as I do from a turbulent family, I recognized the push-pull issues that make people enemies who should love each other. And I recognized when in my life I decided to have peace in my heart and when I chose to be at war in my heart instead--and what the results were. Here is a system of engaging with everyone you meet in order to have peaceful relations.

    The book starts with a story about a family taking their paroled drug-dealing son to a desert retreat and rehabilitation program run by an improbable pair of an Israeli and and Arab. The parents drop off the children and then spend a couple of days with the program therapists before leaving the kids behind. Suprise; the book is NOT about the desert survival experience of the kids; we only learn of this obliquely throughout the book. Instead, the parents learn how to deal with each other and their world with a peaceful heart. The system of teaching involves some parables, stories, charts and a pyramid starting at the top with "correction" but supported below with teaching, listening, and otherwise dealing lovingly with your fellow man.

    The philosophy of Martin Buber is some of the basis for these important teachings. Buber stated that people either dealt with each other as I-YOU or as I-IT. When people deal with others as "it", we get everything from the person who is yapping on a cell phone while they carelessly careen through a parking lot to wholesale slaughter of people for being the wrong religion or race. From Buber's teaching, we learn how peace in our hearts is when we deal with I-YOU and when we turn our hearts to war, we've turned them to I-IT.

    This is a most important book and I recommend that everyone get a copy of it and read it. And read it again. Your life will NOT be the same. It will be better....more info
  • Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict
    This is an excellent book. Even more helpful than their previous volume Leadership and Self-Deception....more info
  • Life Changing
    If you are not familiar with the Arbinger principles this is a great place to start. If you have read other books about the Arbinger principles then is a must read. For anyone who is experiencing conflict on any level in their lives the principles contained in this book will help you in your quest for peace....more info
  • A proper message on how to live peacefully together
    Throw away all your self help books, this is the real deal. Uncompromising, uncomfortable and frankly personally scary it is the only book I have read in my ten years of coaching that really means business. We cannot hope to succceed alone, we might all know that, but do we know how responsible we are for relatiosnip damage and conflicts? I had no clue until I read this. Now I do know and have to stop blaming others. This won't be for everyone and it should be (although you're not allowed to say that:)....more info
  • fantastic!
    Probably the best book I have ever read . . . and I've read a lot of books. I have also read "Leadership and Self Deception" which is also written by the arbinger institute and "Bonds that Make us Free," written by C. Terry Warner, founder of the arbinger institute. This book stands on its own or is great coupled with the others. I would also highly recommend "Peacegiver" written by James Ferrel who is the managing director of the arbinger institute. They are all life changing books. ...more info
  • Great follow-up...
    This is a wonderful follow-on to the Leadership & Self-Deception title from the Arbinger Institute. Really solidifies their thoughts. I found it very thought provoking....more info
  • Excellent Book! Must read
    This is an excellent book, a "must read", which should affect each person. It pertains to relationships we all have, the most important within our families. I was grateful for the insight and the encouragement. It is written in an easy conversational style. I highly recommend it....more info
  • Finding peace
    I read this book after reading Leadership and self deception. I started reading this book and could not put it down, so I read it all in an afternoon. Once again the Arbringer Institute wrote another book that is a must read. This book is great to help resolve conflicts and understand why you and I have them with others....more info
  • A Way Through and a Way Out
    Skimming through the more than three dozen testimonials at the front of *The Anatomy of Peace* before going on to read it, I was certain that all the endorsers were guilty of overstatement. Now I can say that no praise is high enough. By reflecting the painful truth about my own "heart at war" that I was blind to, it completely changed how I perceive the ingredients that produce conflict in my own life.

    Following along with the process described in the book produced cascading "aha!" moments so profound that I took seventeen pages of notes, and I still feel the impact every time I review what I wrote down or look at the major diagrams that I reproduced from the book. The transforming power here is a clarity and simplicity of revealed truth that uncovers the root of a warring consciousness. The very awareness of what we have been doing becomes the way out; we simply see the point and recognize how self-defeating and divisive our own warring strategies have been. It becomes obvious that there is another way, a better way, to interact with one another than our styles of self-betrayal and self-justification have created.

    Somehow, this new grasp of the possibility for a true understanding of another human being becomes alive in the heart as you read this book. The heart responds with a passionate desire to be true to her basic nature that has been created to love, serve, and do what it knows is right. The book delivers a direct experience of the peace that is your own nature, and you come away knowing that it is who you really can be if you choose to be that.

    I found that the format of the reader-as-witness created a capacity to observe myself with fewer defenses. Absorbed in listening and watching the characters, I never felt bludgeoned or lectured to or blindsided by the authors as my own issues emerged. In fact, it was just the opposite; I became hungry to recognize my particular patterns and evaluate how they fit into the overall program of internal war-mongering that we all so easily fall prey to. This is a rare accomplishment in a book with such a challenging and life-changing message. And, as the authors point out, we can't be agents of peace in the world until our own hearts are at peace.

    Who needs to read this book? Its potential to change the way we all relate to one another is enormous. To keep it simple: Unless you have nothing but the most compassionate and understanding response to every human being and situation on the planet, you can be greatly benefited from looking in this mirror. Hats off to The Arbinger Institute for giving us a model that works at a time when peace seems so elusive as to be impossible. As the authors note, "We separate from each other at our own peril." I see *The Anatomy of Peace* as a way through and out of the peril of our times.
    ...more info
  • Read it again and again
    I can't think of a book that has had a more profound effect on me. I have read all of the Arbinger Institute books, but this one is the best. If you have problems with other people's behaviors - be they children, coworkers, or anyone else - buy and read and re-read this book. If other people disappoint you, buy and read this book. If your heart is open, you really will have a sense of peace at the end of this book.
    I have bought copies for all of my children who are raising children to read. I have given copies to friends. But my own copy I keep close at hand. This is a wonderful book!...more info
  • Excellenct strategies for peace
    This business book is written in an easy to read ficitional style. It's a real page-turner and has peace-making principles that apply to interpersonal conflict and conflict at international levels (Israel vs. Palestine for example). This is a must-read for any leader who has dealt with or will need to wrestle the bear called conflict....more info
  • Get out of the box
    An excellent book for self-improvement, self-analysis, and self-awareness. Helps you to recognize where you make your decisions from and the affect it has on yourself and the people in your life. I'm eagerly looking forward to more books from the Arbinger Institute!...more info
  • Reading this book would be a favor to yourself and everyone you know (and others besides)
    I've read some very good books, but I cannot think of any other that can be as helpful, accessible and life-changing to as many people. I immediately ordered five other copies for people I know.

    The book is very readable, entertaining, clear, and practical as well as profound. It is hard to imagine anyone reading it and not be transformed by it. If it is in the curriculum of every school in the world, the world will be a much better place in just a few years....more info
  • Conflict Resolution
    I found this book very insightful, and the various characters and personalities very recognizable. Overall a very good and valuable read....more info
  • We need peace in this world and here is the way ...
    I dont know what to say about this other than buy it and read it. I am a former Marine sniper with some wild exploits as a young man and have made the progression to one seeking peace ... I found it. This book is profound for sure. A must read with a simple process that is in a word profound in its simplicity and avenue for change. Spent a lot of years looking and this process has already had major impact in my daily life. You need to see for yourself. ...more info
    I have purchased and given away many copies of this incredible book. I am re-reading it again with my young son and have given a copy to my ex-husband along with a sincere apology for so much of my behavior and attitude towards him since we began to pull apart. The companion book 'Leadership and Self-Deception' is also amazing. Both should be required reading in schools and in every other organization. ...more info
  • The Heart of the matter
    This book is a pleasant, readable story that is actually a parable. The reader does not have to fully agree with the ideas in order to realize new ways of thinking about themself, others, and the deceptions in which we tend to engage. Although the direct lessons in the book are useful, the real value is to cause the reader to think more deeply about the inner sources of conflicts, the way we engage in them, and the very nature of our hearts. And the lessons of the parable apply to human interactions from individuals and families up to nations. I highly recommend this book....more info
  • Finally, a rational approach to interpersonal conflict.
    In the interplay of psycho-social theories and self-help books, there is a rare moment of practical advice that holds up to the most rigorous of philosophical critique. The Anatomy of Peace is a book that resides in such a moment. I will be forever grateful for having discovered this book, as will those with whom I have been in conflict for the greater part of my life. It is a book of stories that contains strategies for resolving conflict that really work. Our entire office has read the book and we are now a more productive organization for it. ...more info
  • You will truly be able to find peace after reading this book . . .
    The Anatomy of Peace takes the first book from the Arbinger Institute, "Leadership and Self-Deception," (hereafter LASD) to the next level. Where LASD teaches about being in the box toward others, Anatomy of Peace explains what the boxes are and how we make them. I can't recommend this book enough. As soon as I read just the first few pages of LASD I knew they were keepers and had to stop and immediately order one each for my husband and myself, so we'd each be able to highlight them where wanted and re-read them at will. Don't pass either of these books by, they are books I will use and read throughout my life....more info
  • A life changing event
    This book along with its companion book "Leadership and Self Deception" have altered my life. The concepts discussed, while simple in concept are fundamental in terms of human nature ...more info
  • Food for thought
    The story format made it easy to read. Having an infant makes it hard to read any book in a short amount of time, but I was able to finish it in a few days and had much to think about. I think the ideas presented are very timely. The concepts were presented very clearly, and made a lot of sense. I'm interested to see how my life changes as I impliment these concepts....more info
  • I call it the "fix-it" book
    As we struggle with our own relationships, so does the world. This book, as well as the others produced by the Arbinger Group are not casual, easy-to-read novels. They are books that really make you think. If you think about it enough, and change your life according to what you have learned, you find yourself a much better human being. Better human beings, concerned more about others, makes a better world. This is a fabulous work. Very insightful. The title may sound political, but it is just the opposite - it is personal and without political tilt. You read and you can't deny the applicable principles that universally apply to us all. On top of it all, it is written so well that you are drawn in to wanting to read the whole story without putting the book down. ...more info
  • The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict
    This book helps you see yourself and others in a completely different light, and, I think, a more correct light than how we see ourselves now. Everyone will benefit from reading this book if they want to improve their relations with family, at work, in the community. It is an astounding revelation!...more info


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