The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life
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It's easy to identify rage in people who lose their temper at traffic jams, unruly children, unresponsive coworkers, and unrealistic bosses. But we may not recognize more subtle manifestations of anger, such as being uncomfortable with loose ends, acting impatiently, or being overly critical. That is anger, too. And, as is so often the case, angry folks don't seem to realize that the behavior causing them problems at home or at work actually stems from unrecognized and unresolved pain and emotional injuries from the past. Is all this negative emotion inevitable, or are there choices about how to respond, choices that can improve personal relationships as well as emotional health?
The Anger Trap is a landmark book that strips away the myths and misconceptions about anger and reveals how you can learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy anger so that you may choose— or help someone else to choose— a better, more spiritually enlightened path. The Anger Trap examines the root causes of anger and can help you realize your patterns and break the destructive cycles of criticism, frustration, and irritation that hurt you and others around you. Drawing insight from timeless spiritual wisdom as well as cutting-edge research, Dr. Carter offers practical techniques to free you from anger, its hidden insecurities, fears, and selfishness and thereby improve the quality of your home and workplace life. The book clearly illustrates how the change process works and The Anger Trap is filled with real-life examples of the ways people have come to terms with their anger by applying the concepts Dr. Carter outlines.
Awesome book I think this book is great. I'm almost finished with it. He really looks at why we get angry, where it comes from, and then gives a bunch of options for dealing with it. It's really practical and insightful....more info
Really works! Before I read this book, I was blowing up at my kids at least once a day. Just a few weeks later, that no longer happens. I'm able to monitor when I'm getting frustrated and keep in control so I don't start yelling out of the blue.
This book really made me feel understood by the author. I recognized myself and the people I know in the descriptions of angry people. The biggest thing for me was that he understood how profoundly being yelled at as a child can affect you. He explains that people get angry because their needs aren't being met. So now, I check in with myself regularly to see whether I'm hungry, or tired, or frustrated, and then I try to take steps to meet those needs before I blow up.
The main flaw in the book is that it doesn't provide enough detail about how to be assertive. I would have liked to see specific examples and guidelines for how to talk to other people about your needs in an effective, assertive way rather than being aggressive or too passive....more info
anger is as danerous potential insanity I read this book around when it was first released.. When saw it here I got another copy. I will truly help think about your actions and may keep you from falling in the pit. Living in a town I fondly call Dante's Inferno I stay angry over the unfair treatment of the poorest of the poor. I cannot fight and I cannot run so I stay angry. lexingtontruth.com explains the reasons. This book is a reminder of how we have thresholds and to know where they are. After 2 chapters i took control of me and put my home up for sale. Now i have a goal and I am channeling my anger into home improvement projects.
If you have anger and anxiety issues this is the best self help book I have ever read.
Validating, Practical, Solutions...life altering! This book is well worth your money and time. Its very validating and not only helps you understand why you get angry/frustrated but also helpful solutions to free yourself from the trap of it. Its also helpful in understand and being empathetic with others and their anger....more info
This book is helpful in understanding anger and how to deal with it appropriately. This book is helpful in understanding anger and how to deal with it appropriately. I recommend this book for anyone struggling with anger....more info
Very insightful as far as "things I had not taken into consideration" I have quite a few books on cognitive psychology. However, I had no idea what a big component anger was to my emotional health. By now, everybody has been given the opportunity to learn that mental health is a very complex issue. However, many of us(I'm guilty of it) seem to deal with our emotions with the same thought processes, over and over. If you're like me, you end up kidding yourself that one day you're going to finally relax.. and not be so angry.
I found a lot of books kind of boring... re-stating the obvious, or talking about things in a very "clinical" way. I have to say, Les Carter put together a very good book. I used to think that I was aware of the many destructive thought processes that we can possess. Chapter after chapter, however, I was impressed with the new insight into such an old problem.
I have heard that some people will make the point that Les Carter is coming from a religious perspective. I'm an atheist and did not know of his religious background before getting halfway into the book. I can say that he does a great job of leaving religion out of the book to keep its information universally acceptable.
When buying this book, I thought it was just going to cover a small facet of my emotional well being. I, now, think that this is one of the more useful books in my collection.
When I read a book on depression, it often exposes profound insights into my own thought processes. However, this book provided a different way of interpreting the behaviors of my parents, teachers, bosses, co-workers, girlfriends, etc. I, definitely, was not expecting to get this much out of this book. ...more info
If you struggle with anger, this book has answers I thought the Anger Trap was very insightful and as I read through it I recognized my typical anger-generating habits of thinking. I also learned ways to retrain my thinking - slowly but surely - in order the respond to things less emotionally. I also learned that when I am "angry" I am probably really something else - disappointed, afraid, frustrated, feeling rejected or dismissed. When I start to get mad now I pause and ask myself, "what is really going on here?" and that alone has enabled me to explore other sides to my personality that I have tried to ignore for the last 30 yrs. I can get through situations that used to make me blow my top as a sane, calm person now. It helps to dialogue with myself (silently, of course, lest they get the net!) by using techniques from the book.
My only beef with the premise (it's always something...) is that the author goes with the idea that anger comes from past problems. Grow up with a dad who yells or hits and you'll yell or hit. However, there are many studies that show that a violent home does not necessarily beget a violent child, a calm home does not beget a calm child. Just as anxiety can run in families or depression, might not problems such as overreaction to stimulus? If the dad is a yeller, perhaps it is his genes that pass on the anger and not his yelling. Otherwise, why don't all people from certain types of parents exhibit the behavior? I bring this up, because it is easier to face the problem sometimes when there is no one to blame (except perhaps God, if you lean that way). Rather than bemoan the mess a parent has made of one, it might be better to treat it as a limp that runs in the family but was not bequeathed with any malice. You have the limp, now figure out how to walk with it. You have the temper, now figure out how to respond to life as a decent human being with it. ...more info
Not Worth the Ink I bought this for my husband, who was willing & interested in dealing with his anger issues. Both of us agreed that it was just a silly pile of psycho-babble. Really....more info
An entirely new perspective, a better life Great book, it has changed my life (no bull). Anger is as debilitating as cancer. You may not even be aware of how angry you are, or how you're expressing it. The great thing about the book is it teaches you that you have options, and you can change how you handle your anger. You can make use of your anger to improve your life. Anyone would benefit from reading this book....more info
Helpful book A very helpful book. I saw so many people I know in its pages. It helps to create understanding about what is causing anger. It assures us that anger does not go away because there will always be people and situations that make us angry. It is impossible to create some zen state where nothing bothers us. But it helps to illustrate why certain ways of dealing with anger don't ever get us anywhere and suggests alternative approaches that will make life easier for us and those who are close to us....more info
PACKED with what you need I would highly recommend this book for anyone who struggles with anger, from open aggression to constant irritability. If you are on the fence about what anger book to buy, you won't regret buying this one.
I've had "The Anger Trap" for a year now and haven't stopped reading it. It is so full of insight that I can only digest & internalize a few pages of information at a time. This book isn't just for the explosively angry person; it's for the passive-aggressive person and/or the criticizer and/or the usually frustrated and unhappy person. Anger comes in many more forms than I realized, and anger keeps us from being the loving, relational, content, patient, joyful individuals we were created to be. Buying this book has to be the best $15 I ever spent. I sense that I will be working through this book over and over.
Even though the author takes you through all the reasons that are foundational to the emotion of anger and all the ways that anger is mismanaged, he never leaves you feeling hopeless. You'll see how screwed up you are, but that there is redemption and hope. There are some legitimate reasons we feel anger, and there are healthy uses of anger. For those of us that feel that anger has become who we are almost all the time, the insight in this book is a powerful tool of truth as one undergoes the process of being free from that (and it takes honest soul-searching on the part of the reader for this tool to be fully appreciated). If you can be honest with yourself as you read this book, I guarantee you'll see what is actually triggering your anger (and it's not outward circumstances like your annoying family member), and you'll see that you don't have to be trapped by anger. Anger doesn't have to have a hold on your personality. This book has practical, do-able, life-changing advice to help you....more info
Well Done. This is a great book book Dr. Carter. I found it very eye-opening and to the point....more info
Easy to Read and Very Practical This reference is one of the best self-help books out there. The author has obviously spent a great deal of time in this field, and he has a knack for imparting his accumulated knowledge so that anyone can understand it. He uses stories about real people to illustrate various problems that can arise, and then shows how they can be resolved. Very easy to read. Also very easy to use, as the author gives concrete methods to handle many common situations. I very much appreciate the time and effort Dr. Carter has taken to put this together, and believe it will help many to deal not only with their own anger, but with the anger of people expressed around them. Excellent work!...more info
the anger workbook my husband and i went thur this 13wk anger workbook w/our ss teacher's it has been very freeing for both of us....so much so that we have purchased more of the books to pass on to friends we have who we know need to work out some anger issues in their lives :)if you have angry issues in your life and need some direction on how to dispose it, this is the book for you :) never give up,god is faithful, he has promised us abundant life, keep pressing.... thank you dr les carter and dr frank minirth :)...more info
Insightful, thought provoking You'll be suprised by this thought provoking depiction of anger and how your life has been effected by your anger and the anger of the people in your life. I didn't think that my emotional wellness was so effected by anger. There is more to anger then active aggression, loud outburst, or fighting. Everyone experiences anger. You'll relate to the case studies more than you would like to think. ...more info