Tales from Customer Service: a MUST read! Mold and air cleaners - silly questions

It is the "Silly Season" and our good-humored customer service department has a large stash of left over Halloween candy in the middle of their area to help them through the slew of increasingly strange phone calls - especially these about mold and air cleaners.

Here are just a couple of the stories from last week. All I can say is... "No comment!"
Is it okay to smoke?
Caller (sounds 20-something): "You guys know about right?"
Customer Service: "Yes, we do."
Caller: "Is it okay to smoke it? Will it harm you?"
Customer Service, (astonished): "You mean as in roll it up and smoke it ?"
Caller: "That is exactly what I mean."
Customer Service, (slowly): "Well, we don't recommend it. And if you have been doing it, we suggest you see a doctor"... as an afterthought, added, "do not snort it either!"

Military Intelligence?
Caller: "I am calling from a military base in the South. Do you sell ?"
Customer Service: "Yes we do".
Caller: "How about 5 acres?"
Customer service: "Inside or out?"
Caller: "Outside".
Customer Service: "Well, I think you might have to leave that one to the big guy upstairs!"