Changes That Heal: How to Understand the Past to Ensure a Healthier Future
Changes That Heal: How to Understand the Past to Ensure a Healthier Future

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Product Description

This book focuses on four developmental tasks -- bonding to others, separating from others, integrating good and bad in our lives, and taking charge of our lives -- that all of us must accomplish to heal our inner pain and to enable us to function and grow emotionally and spiritually.

Customer Reviews:

  • help without the psychobabble
    Dr. Cloud does a thoughtful and credible job of weaving his Christian beliefs in with his psychological insights to create a useful and practical self-help book. By following his advice, readers can grow deeper relationships, a stronger faith, and greater confidence in their ability to solve problems and deal with the difficulties of life.

    In each of the sixteen chapters he offers readers techniques that have worked in his psychological practice for bonding with others in a healthy way, creating and respecting personal boundaries, accepting both the good things and the bad thing about life, and learning to take responsibility for our choices.

    Even tough he sometimes uses examples from the Bible out of context, his insights are worth reading and should help most people to better understand the past and how it affects the way they look at life and to make positive changes in their attitude and actions to help them grow healthier relationships....more info
  • Image Bearers
    What does it mean to be made in the image of God? People sometimes say that it means we have free will, or we have emotions and intellect, or we have a spirit. In Changes that Heal, Cloud describes part of his own theory of what it means to bear the image of God on this planet. He describes four major areas that are involved in bearing God's image: 1. Bonding to others 2. Separating from others 3. Sorting out good and bad in ourselves and others 4. Becoming an adult. For each of these four areas, he points out the picture we have in scripture of God's nature as He operates in the specific area, then describes how this aspect of man was broken in the fall, and suggests ways to move toward healing. The book is especially helpful when it describes case studies from Dr. Cloud's practice and shows which symptoms, or life problems, may result from failure to grow up in each of the areas.

    There are a few weaknesses in the book. He doesn't include enough practical how-to for someone seeking healing, possibly because this requires help from healthy relationships and/or professionals. Also, the writing style tends to ramble and get a little tedious. You have to be pretty dedicated to getting the information in order to plod through to the end. Although the subject matter is not exactly duplicated, for a book along the same lines I much prefer John Townsend's Hiding from Love. ...more info
  • Very Insightful
    Though I am not quite finished reading this book, I can say that it has offered me so much insight into myself. Not only that, but it has helped me to see things that I need to change. I think this is a great read for ANYONE!!...more info
  • Great book
    This book is easy to understand and offers concrete examples at the beginning of each chapter. I could identify with several of the examples and it made me really think about how I wanted to live my life. I wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone looking to reconcile their past hurts and relationships so that they can have a future filled with solid, healthy relationships....more info
  • This book has been life-changing!!
    This book has changed the way I view relationships and how to handle past issues. It has very sound scriptural references which I go back to time and time again. This book has helped me put into perspective all of my relationships. If everyone read this book, and applyed the principles, this would be a much better world....more info
  • Foundational
    This book was so foundational for me. It really helped me sort through some things and see what may be going on with other people in their struggles. This is one of those books that I will probably keep copies of to give whenever somebody is interested. If you want to work through some emotional or relational struggles in your life, this is a GREAT place to start....more info
    This is a Very Good Christian Self Help Book for anyone Needing To Make Changes in their Life and heal past Issues. It is very Good and Follows behind the Boundaries Book. I myself thought it was MUCH Better than Boundaries and I would HIGHLY recommend it to Anyone Suffering from Domestic and Sexual Abuse issues....You need to Read it! Also do the Study Guide in the Back of the Book....more info
  • Changes That Heal
    This book will help you recognize the necessary steps one has to take to be happy and content with yourself and others. Everyone has some problem that needs to be dealt with and this shows how to gain a better understanding of what has to be done to beat an addiction, get over esteem issues, deal with problem people, perfectionism, etc. It will help to open your eyes to the keys to growth. We just have to be willing to do the work....more info
  • Incredible and terrible
    There are few books out there that play on the borders of both worthlessness and pricelessness. This is one of them.

    Cloud brings out life-changing principles in his analysis of boundaries, bonding, good and evil, and adulthood. It has the potential of completely revamping your view of healthy interaction with others (and God).

    At the same time, it is very poorly written. I found it to be unstructured, long-winded, and completely unengaging in many places. Moreover, there is frequent misuse of scripture and a number of statements that could be taken to horribly unhealthy extremes.

    Read the book. Be changed, but be wary....more info

  • Changes that Heal
    Great book. Dr. Henry Cloud is an excellent teacher on how to apply God's word effectively to heal our past....more info
  • An Outstanding Book
    Dr. Henry Cloud in his introduction, explains that he did not set out to write this book. Rather it was an extension of his ministry and the encouragement of many who benefited from the ministry and wished that he would expand its scope.

    Most revealing in the introduction into this material is the observation that within Christianity is a broad section which seems to espouse the idea that Christians who suffer from issues such as depression, relationship deficiencies, sexual dysfunction etc are somehow in sin and to blame for their issues simply because they have not laid claim to the healing available to them in Christ.

    This viewpoint is not all that different than those in the past who have applied the same reasoning to those who are physically ill with issues like cancer, diabetes etc and have failed to lay hold of the same healing that is promised to varying degrees. Great damage came from this form of absolute intolerant thinking. Equal and perhaps greater harm comes from the application of this same erroneous thinking to the softer field of human emotions and thought processes.

    While the latter form of absolute thinking has diminished and more grace and understanding have been extended within all but the most extreme factions within the Church, unfortunately this same attitude prevails far too often within the mainstream of the Church for reasons that this reviewer can only attribute to the fact that these issues are less visible and that many who espouse them do so from ignorance and the discomfort that these situations can bring.

    Dr. Cloud's book does an outstanding job of explaining the causative roots of many of these issues to where those who suffer from them as well as those who have difficulty accepting or understanding them can benefit greatly without having to reject or discount the truths of Christianity.

    Addressing the issue progressively with an explanation of how psychological growth can get out of sync with physical growth and then specifically addressing the issues of bonding, separating, developing values and then maturing, gives footholds to understanding that help the individual identify where they need to work and the Church as a whole know how to provide the understanding and support that draws the Church into a loving and accepting community rather than a judgemental and exclusive society of only those who are without problems.

    Far too often the fruits of the field of psychology are rejected by the community of faith. Dr. Cloud does an outstanding job of bringing the two together in a manner that promotes understanding and growth without watering down the importance of spirituality.

    Appropriate for those seeking help as well as those who seek to better understand how to extend it....more info
    Awareness- 3 things - grace,truth,and time. Bonding- ability to emotionally attach to another person. Moments of intimacy between lovers brings heaven close to earth. Acceptance- be in a relationship just as we are. Anger- a sign something is being protected. How people grow; Pray for supernatural healing and deliverness when needed. God disciplines those he loves. TRUTH is simple/ seperates What is real and what is not. God does not condemn or judge us, even when (our hearts condemn us) (we condemn ourselves). ...more info
  • Excellent
    This book is somewhat of a repeat of "Boundaries", by the same authors, but is very good reading if you are interested in what causes people to have problems in life. It would be good for counselors to use....more info
  • Life changing
    "Changes that Heal" has been a life changing book for me. It is a good overview and beginning read for making lasting life changes. Each chapter and topic is well written and includes helpful real life examples.

    I read it once on my own and then again with a small group. You get out of the book what you put into it. I recommend it for any who are feeling "stuck" or experiencing hurt....more info
  • Changes that Heal
    I have passed it out and have been using it for some teaching.
    Anyone needed a healing, this is the book to read....more info
  • Very well written with giving a reader a lot to ingest!
    This is a very good book. It is written with many facts backed up with wonderful examples from patients that were helped after identifying the
    reason for their pain.Very helpful to me.
    D.W..Dallas,Tx...more info
  • Life Changing
    This book while truly help you undertand and heal from your past. I also bought the workbook, as you gain so much more by going through the workbook with the book. I definitely recommend this book....more info
  • superb basics
    Its examination of broken relationships is Biblical and cuts like a knife. Healing really comes thru right relationships....more info
  • Exvcellent resource for therapists!
    Enables clients to undertand who they are; how they became this way; and most importantly, the way out of pain toward healing. This is an excellent resource for those who truly hunger and thirst after righteourness and are willing to do the hard work to change....more info
  • Changes that Heal
    Not only is the delivery quick; product is in excellent condition. Always try Amazon first!!...more info
  • Like therapy in a book!!
    Excellent book by a respected author...the profound counsel within these pages is fabulous; I have earmarked and underlined and highlighted numerous passages. This one is a good "look in the mirror" and complements the "Boundaries" books quite well. I highly recommend this one! I have been a co-dependent person my entire life; now middle-aged and divorced, it is time to heal and discover ME. Thank you, Dr. Cloud!...more info
  • Bad Gift for Atheists!
    Not to really bash this book or anything, but if you plan on giving it to someone as a gift...please consider their religious beliefs! As an ATHEIST and a proudly stated one, I received this book from my Catholic roomate.

    I flipped through a few pages and had to gag over the fact that you can't go about three lines without some reference to "God". It was so overly religious, I couldn't even enjoy the parts that maybe would have been enlightening or helpful. ><...more info
  • I understand more now!
    This book came to me from a friend. I came to understand so much as to why I do/did the things in my life. Setting boundaries is helpful in many ways. We do it in our society and with each other. As long as we speak the truth with GRACE, time really does heal. I recommend this book to anyone who simply would like a "road map" on how to deal with people and yourself and how to live life more peacefully....more info
  • let's get real
    I have read many books by Cloud & Townsend prior to this book-- How to Get a Date Worth Keeping, Boundaries, Boundaries in Dating, Safe People, and Nine Things You Simply Must Do: To Succeed in Love and Life. I read Changes that Heal in little bites-- usually no more than 30 minutes worth before bed each night. It touched on things I had never thought before, supported ideas explored in previous books, and brought a lot to the light. I learned a WHOLE lot about myself as I read this and processed it. And the beauty of it all, is that it was very direct, to the point, and calls you out on your issues without a hint of condemnation. I was challenged in areas no one had ever asked me to be accountable in and I was freed from condemnation (my own and others) in other areas. My "symptoms" make sense now because I am beginning to get to the roots of the issues. The wisdom and insight of these two men along with their genuine commitment to see people reconciled in all areas has been a great blessing to me. ...more info
  • Theology applied to life is alive in this book
    I have always wanted to be a pastor and still want to but If I have not read this book, I wonder what kinds of problems I will have done to people's lives! The reason we have truth is to live the truth not to hang it on a wall like a painting or in Islamic world as my father did, hanging Quran on a wall to expect the "truth" to change your life. This book is definetly cross-cultural, cross-worldview and talks to human nature. It is humbling which hurts. Yet, gives healing to your heart and strenghtes you to deal with the world. However, I certainly suggest 'Fear from Freedom' by Rose Marie Miller and 'Heart of A Servant Leader' by Jack Miller along with Seeing with New Eyes by David Powlison. Although the book is quite good in its layout, still is in need of richness of Scriptures which can be found on the other books I have listed. I will confidently tell you that this book awakened my mind to see my spiritual condition yet, I still needed to repent of my sins through Jack Miller's book 'Heart of A Servant Leader'. I will be forever grateful to this book. Yet, I have found few theological serious problem that's why I could not give 5 stars but over all it demands attention and call you to obedience to its practical wisdom....more info
  • Great overview of bonding and maturity issues.
    If you are a Christian and you think that something went wrong somewhere back in the past, and you're a mess now because of that, this book is a good place to begin. It'll cost you a lot less than that first 10 or 20 hours of psychological counseling.

    In fact, this may help you if you are not a Christian because many of the psychological priciples related to bonding and personality development are sound, I believe, even without trying to prove them by citing scripture passages.

    That leads me to the primary weakness of this book, and the reason I deducted a star. The author relentlessly wrests scripture out of it's original context to buttress his already very convincing illumination of various bonding and maturity issues. This wasn't necessary, and it got more and more irritating as I progressed through the book.

    That said, there is some real wisdom in this book. The pages on "separating good and bad" are priceless.

    So, put the fee for your first five minutes of counseling toward the book and you might save thousands in the long run....more info
  • Quick Postage
    Thanks for the product, it was as advertised and was posted to Australia in very quick time. I was amazed how quickly it got here actually! It beat other books i had ordered before this one!...more info
  • Changes That Heal more than you'll believe
    All I can say about this book is, "Wow, why didn't I read this 25 years ago. It would have made all the difference in the world!"

    If you want real straight-forward answers to why you can's say, 'no' or why you're suffering from depression then you'll find them here. You'll also find solutions and comfort in the fact that your issues can be overcome.

    I recommend this to everyone!...more info
  • Worth It's Weight in Gold!!
    An awesome book that puts into the words the vital principles and workings of what needs to go on in our lives to heal after abusive or disfunctional relationships. I recommend reading it at least twice and making it "required reading" for home schooling, middle school and high school. Save yourself and others the agony of ignorance, buy a copy and give it to a friend....more info
  • satan does not want you to read this book.
    WARNING: If you prayerfully embrace what is shared in this book, you will be breaking down some of satan's most time honored strongholds that he uses for opression and destruction.

    WARNING: It is not going to be the easiest book you ever read...but it will be so worth it. It will not be an easy book to "share" with others.

    When you have finished, you will doubtless wish, that you had read it years ago. BUT, YOU CAN READ IT NOW.

    By the comes in audio cassette too......more info


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