The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict

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What if conflicts at home, conflicts at work, and conflicts in the world stem from the same root cause? And what if individually and collectively we systematically misunderstand that cause, and unwittingly perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve?
Through an intriguing story of parents struggling with their troubled children and with their own personal problems, "The Anatomy of Peace" shows how to get past the preconceived ideas and self-justifying reactions that keep us from seeing the world clearly and dealing with it effectively. Yusuf al-Falah, an Arab, and Avi Rozen, a Jew, each lost his father at the hands of the other's ethnic cousins. As the story unfolds, we discover how they came together, how they help warring parents and children to come together, and how we too can find our way out of the struggles that weigh us down. The choice between peace and war lies within us. As one of the characters says, "A solution to the inner war solves the outer war as well." This book offers more than hope -- it shows how we can prevent the conflicts that cause so much pain in our lives and in the world.

Customer Reviews:

  • Conflict Resolution
    I found this book very insightful, and the various characters and personalities very recognizable. Overall a very good and valuable read....more info
  • Buy one and give on to all your friends and enemies
    This book is framed in the setting of parents bringing their troubled children to a "wilderness" rehab camp run by an Israeli and a Palestinian. The parents are required to participate in a group therapy encounter session. It is not the typical encounter group, but one which explores the interdependency of family problems.The paradigm is that it is as improtant to prevent future problems as it is to fix current ones.Novel...

    It is a fast read, almost like reading a novel with easily explained readily implemented concepts.

    The goal is for all of us to be more human, more understanding of ourselves and fellow human beings and treat all with respect.

    ...more info
  • A Life-Changing Book
    This book offers a fresh approach to conflict resolution which applies equally to realtionships within families, in the work place or between racial groups. What it offers could have enormous value in so many areas. The thoughts are presented as a narrative which has the effect of illustrating the points made as well as adding human interest. I read the entire book in two sittings which is rare for me. This was because I was very aware that it was telling me something really important and I couldn't wait to read it. I was not disappointed....more info
  • The Anatomy of Peace
    This is a must sequel to Leadership and Self-Deception. These two books have been of the most influential books I have ever read....more info
  • The "Box" - A Powerful Pattern Awareness Technique
    The 'box' is a wonderful toy to help us view our common ways of getting into and out of negative perspectives. Simple awareness and identification of a way of being allows us the choice to move on.

    Thank you Arbinger....more info
  • Excellent Follow-on Book to Leadership and Self-Deception
    Excellent reading as a stand-alone book or as a supplement to the original -- Leadership and Self Deception. The first three parts of the book generally repeat the concepts from the first book. Part 4 is new and adds more depth to a difficult subject. If you think that self-deception is too complicated to be useful, then you need to think about it some more. There is a reason there are so many books out there on leadership -- it is hard; but these folks at Arbinger Institute have presented complex material in a very readable way. It's a great book and can improve your leadership ability....more info
  • One of the best books ever!
    I had never heard of Arbinger Institute, but this book was highly recommended by someone I trust so I ordered it and read it! It was fabulous - I will never see people the same again! It is very well-written in a story format, which is easy to read and understand!

    At first I thought I had a heart at peace, but as I read the book I learned all the ways that my heart was at war. It also told what you need to do to get your heart back at peace. It also teaches the importance of seeing all people as people, and not objects. When we start seeing people as objects instead of people, our heart is at war.

    I will never see myself or others the same after reading this!...more info
  • peace by piece
    So much common sense is uncommon! Reduces to golden rule stuff, basically the adage of 'don't criticize someone until you've gone a mile in their shoes' (shoes = mind = body, etc). If you've opened the book and read it, you are probably willing and well on the way to appreciating alternate points of view, and seeing solutions rather than problems. Excellent read for reinforcing the patience necessary to implement these strategies in the real world...more info
  • Superlative book on communication
    This book shows us exactly how and why communication falls apart in conflict situations, and shows us a better way to approach such situations without ever seeming preachy or self-righteous. The reader of this book will readily relate to the characters in the story, and come away with a genuine appreciation of the people around them that s/he may never have possessed before. You could just as easily call this book "the anatomy of love," and use it as a tool to heal relationships with any friend or family member with whom you ever had a fight, misunderstanding or falling-out.

    Like any tool, this one will only work if you use it, and like many tools, it's one that could hurt you if you use it wrong or are careless with it. But if you have a genuine desire or need to reconnect with someone (especially a spouse, child or parent), this book could make all the difference....more info
  • Great Book!
    This is an outstanding book if you're looking for something that helps challenge your way of thinking about relationships. I've found it useful in both personal and work situations....more info
  • Everyone should read this book!!!
    Anotomy of Peace is a book that brings questions and answers of peace and war to a point of personal understanding. Using a format and system to illustrate how one can gain an understanding of why we are how we are and make the necessary changes to find ourselves with a mind of peace....more info
  • A life-changing, fast, easy read
    I used The Anatomy of Peace as the text for an adult class at our church on the subject of peace. The book got rave reviews from the 40 people in the class. Although it contains no theological talk, or church talk, or "God-talk", The Anatomy of Peace was very helpful to us.

    Using an easy to read dialogue between parents and the leaders of a camp for troubled young people, the Arbinger Institute has found a way to tell stories on intra-personal, inter-personal, company, and even international levels that help the reader discover the dynamics of how we move from having hearts-at-peace to hearts-at-war. They then help us to identify the self-imposed barriers we set up that inhibit our ability to see peaceful options, and follow that up with proceedures to move toward achieving hearts-at-peace, the prerequisite to peaceful solutions to conflicts on all levels.

    This book has been very helpful to me in understanding not only conflicts within families and businesses, but also international conflicts such as those between Israel and the Palestinians. As I watch the news, now I have new categories for understanding what is required if peace is to be achieved in situations I had previously thought to be hopeless.

    I believe The Anatomy of Peace will become a classic must-read for anyone interested in getting a handle on conflict management. It is a book to own and share with others. ...more info
  • Great book
    One of the most valuable books I have ever read. I have read it twice and every day I work to implement the principles embodied in the text. I can see the transformation in my personal and professional life. Don't be fooled, the concepts are relatively simple and easy to understand, but to actually achieve the objectives is very challenging. ...more info
  • Enlightening
    This book is particularly enlightening. The basic premises of the book have changed the way I look at people. These include family, neighbors, and the guy in the car next to me on the freeway. I have found myself more patient with others, kinder in my responses to others, and enjoying the benefits that come when the other people are treated with consideration....more info
  • One of those rare "EVERYONE NEEDS A COPY" books
    I read this while taking a train to a meeting, and when I got back on the train, I re-read the entire book all over. I was absolutely blown away. The authors of the book, the Arbinger Institute, have discovered the secret to world peace--and to domestic tranquility in your marriage and family as well.

    Coming as I do from a turbulent family, I recognized the push-pull issues that make people enemies who should love each other. And I recognized when in my life I decided to have peace in my heart and when I chose to be at war in my heart instead--and what the results were. Here is a system of engaging with everyone you meet in order to have peaceful relations.

    The book starts with a story about a family taking their paroled drug-dealing son to a desert retreat and rehabilitation program run by an improbable pair of an Israeli and and Arab. The parents drop off the children and then spend a couple of days with the program therapists before leaving the kids behind. Suprise; the book is NOT about the desert survival experience of the kids; we only learn of this obliquely throughout the book. Instead, the parents learn how to deal with each other and their world with a peaceful heart. The system of teaching involves some parables, stories, charts and a pyramid starting at the top with "correction" but supported below with teaching, listening, and otherwise dealing lovingly with your fellow man.

    The philosophy of Martin Buber is some of the basis for these important teachings. Buber stated that people either dealt with each other as I-YOU or as I-IT. When people deal with others as "it", we get everything from the person who is yapping on a cell phone while they carelessly careen through a parking lot to wholesale slaughter of people for being the wrong religion or race. From Buber's teaching, we learn how peace in our hearts is when we deal with I-YOU and when we turn our hearts to war, we've turned them to I-IT.

    This is a most important book and I recommend that everyone get a copy of it and read it. And read it again. Your life will NOT be the same. It will be better....more info
  • We need peace in this world and here is the way ...
    I dont know what to say about this other than buy it and read it. I am a former Marine sniper with some wild exploits as a young man and have made the progression to one seeking peace ... I found it. This book is profound for sure. A must read with a simple process that is in a word profound in its simplicity and avenue for change. Spent a lot of years looking and this process has already had major impact in my daily life. You need to see for yourself. ...more info
  • Absolutely Amazing Book
    This is an amazing book. The principles and ideas shared in it are simply life changing. The only strange thing is that these principles are shared in story form and sometimes it seems a little too scripted, but if you don't let that bother you, you can really pick up on some things that can improve your life and relationships....more info
  • Finding peace
    I read this book after reading Leadership and self deception. I started reading this book and could not put it down, so I read it all in an afternoon. Once again the Arbringer Institute wrote another book that is a must read. This book is great to help resolve conflicts and understand why you and I have them with others....more info
  • The Anatomy of Peace
    This book does not teach you to slow yourself down it teaches you how to deal with your life in a better manner while still maintaining the pace you wish to live. This is a life changing read and I also think if you are in business you should read the Self Deception book by the same author(s). You will not find a better read even for someone who hadn't finished a complete book since college (yes many years ago), I read them both in less than a week. Good Luck (this will help)

    Kevin Eliason
    Lakeside Mortgage...more info
  • An apparently additional redundant POSITIVE review
    Well, that is pretty impressive. At the time of writing this review there are currently 64 reviews, and of those 59 are 5-star and 5 are 4-star. Really, that should say a lot.

    The Arbinger Institute has crafted one of the best works on understanding the root of peace in humanity that I have ever seen. The "warring in your heart" concept is something we all probably innately understand, but rarely, if ever, think about in the way presented in this work. Were all of us to understand this concept and the principles around "getting out of the box(es)" that keep us at war in our hearts, we would surely root out many problems in our families, workplaces, communities, and international relations.

    This truly is one of those rare books that I would recommend to anyone....more info
  • Life Changing
    If you are not familiar with the Arbinger principles this is a great place to start. If you have read other books about the Arbinger principles then is a must read. For anyone who is experiencing conflict on any level in their lives the principles contained in this book will help you in your quest for peace....more info
  • A Way Through and a Way Out
    Skimming through the more than three dozen testimonials at the front of *The Anatomy of Peace* before going on to read it, I was certain that all the endorsers were guilty of overstatement. Now I can say that no praise is high enough. By reflecting the painful truth about my own "heart at war" that I was blind to, it completely changed how I perceive the ingredients that produce conflict in my own life.

    Following along with the process described in the book produced cascading "aha!" moments so profound that I took seventeen pages of notes, and I still feel the impact every time I review what I wrote down or look at the major diagrams that I reproduced from the book. The transforming power here is a clarity and simplicity of revealed truth that uncovers the root of a warring consciousness. The very awareness of what we have been doing becomes the way out; we simply see the point and recognize how self-defeating and divisive our own warring strategies have been. It becomes obvious that there is another way, a better way, to interact with one another than our styles of self-betrayal and self-justification have created.

    Somehow, this new grasp of the possibility for a true understanding of another human being becomes alive in the heart as you read this book. The heart responds with a passionate desire to be true to her basic nature that has been created to love, serve, and do what it knows is right. The book delivers a direct experience of the peace that is your own nature, and you come away knowing that it is who you really can be if you choose to be that.

    I found that the format of the reader-as-witness created a capacity to observe myself with fewer defenses. Absorbed in listening and watching the characters, I never felt bludgeoned or lectured to or blindsided by the authors as my own issues emerged. In fact, it was just the opposite; I became hungry to recognize my particular patterns and evaluate how they fit into the overall program of internal war-mongering that we all so easily fall prey to. This is a rare accomplishment in a book with such a challenging and life-changing message. And, as the authors point out, we can't be agents of peace in the world until our own hearts are at peace.

    Who needs to read this book? Its potential to change the way we all relate to one another is enormous. To keep it simple: Unless you have nothing but the most compassionate and understanding response to every human being and situation on the planet, you can be greatly benefited from looking in this mirror. Hats off to The Arbinger Institute for giving us a model that works at a time when peace seems so elusive as to be impossible. As the authors note, "We separate from each other at our own peril." I see *The Anatomy of Peace* as a way through and out of the peril of our times.
    ...more info
  • Marriage Lifeline
    My husband and I were days away from divorce. We were each given a copy of this book the night before our court appearance by a dear friend. He could see how much pain both of us were in and wanted desperately to help us. He had already attended The Arbinger Institutes training and had read all of their books; most recently, this book. He knew how powerful its message is to the right heart.
    There was a lot that transpired during the 18 hours preceding the court hearing. A lot of this book was read. Hearts were softened & changed and two prideful, selfish individuals became new people. I don't use this lightly when I say it helped facilitate a miracle in our lives. We have a long ways to go, but at least we will be traveling it together and we now have hope for ourselves, and for our marriage and "The Anatomy of Peace" has much to do with it.
    ...more info
  • Awesome book
    I think this book should be required reading in every classroom across the globe. Perhaps if it was we would not be in the world situations we find ourselves in today. There would be no excuse for war or any conflict for that matter if we all just took stock inourselves and our own actions....more info
  • Excellent Book! Must read
    This is an excellent book, a "must read", which should affect each person. It pertains to relationships we all have, the most important within our families. I was grateful for the insight and the encouragement. It is written in an easy conversational style. I highly recommend it....more info
  • Conflicts Clearly Resolved
    The Anatomy of Peace opened my eyes and clearly showed me why my well-intentioned efforts often create negative results and destructive conflict. Though I had read Leadership and Self-Deception and found it helpful in my work life, I did not make a strong connection to my relationships outside of work. The pages of The Anatomy of Peace filled me with hopeful - yet sometimes personally painful - images of what often traps me in paralyzing thinking that is the root of festering and counterproductive conflicts.

    Just learning about these traps was well worth my time; however, the greater rewards were concrete antidotes for getting and staying free of these traps. I highly recommend this book to everyone I know, especially my friends who, like me, struggle with relationships with the sons and daughters that they sincerely want to help - yet through their actions they seemingly build more conflict and destruction.
    ...more info
  • The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict
    This book helps you see yourself and others in a completely different light, and, I think, a more correct light than how we see ourselves now. Everyone will benefit from reading this book if they want to improve their relations with family, at work, in the community. It is an astounding revelation!...more info
  • Lessons for Life
    This book has been an excellent source of understanding for me. The lessons learned from this book will enable you to understand what makes you act the way you do. It may also help you improve your relationships both personal and professional....more info
  • Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict
    This is an excellent book. Even more helpful than their previous volume Leadership and Self-Deception....more info
  • Bad Sample
    Books with lots of blurbs
    but no sample of the writing
    make me suspicious
    I want to see a chapter or two
    and the Table of Contents...more info
  • Definately worth it.
    I have recommended this book for all my friends and family. Easy to read, easy to understand and life changing if put into practice. ...more info
  • It all makes sense!
    This book is a part of a series of books that all tie together, I just finished it today! Everything makes sense and I feel so free now! It teaches you in a story-telling way so the book really sinks in- just awesome wisdom!...more info
  • Gets to the heart
    People often consider the workings of the human heart an impossible mystery (like Ford Madox Ford's character in The Good Soldier who refers to "the dark forest which is the heart of another"). But this book contains remarkable insights about how people work that make the inexplicable clear. What's more, it offers a way out of our times of getting stuck in spite, accusation, and resentment. The ideas are life-changing if you give them a try....more info
  • Excellenct strategies for peace
    This business book is written in an easy to read ficitional style. It's a real page-turner and has peace-making principles that apply to interpersonal conflict and conflict at international levels (Israel vs. Palestine for example). This is a must-read for any leader who has dealt with or will need to wrestle the bear called conflict....more info
  • New Insight on Leadership and Relationships
    I have read many books on leadership, and have yet to find another that expresses the same concepts as Anatomy of Peace. Some of the ideas seem so practical that I wondered why the ideas had not occurred to me.

    Initially, I thought this book was redundant to Leadership and Self Deception, the Arbinger Institute's earlier publication. Then I realized that Anatomy of Peace was richer and deeper, fleshing out ideas expressed in the earlier publication.

    This is a book that every person who influences others should read. Even if a person doesn't consider him or herself a leader, all people live in relationship with others. This book is an invaluable resource. ...more info
  • Great Follow-up book to Leadership and Self-Deception
    This book is a great follow-up to Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box.

    The book is actually a prequel to Leadership and Self-Deception, but I enjoyed reading The Anatomy of Peace second because it expanded on the back story of a book I already love.

    The book expands the philosophy presented in Leadership and Self-Deception from a business and home focus to a much larger scale spanning nations and races.

    A very enjoyable read. I highly recommend it....more info
  • Very efficient and fast service
    Really appreciate how fast you were able to send the books. They were able to be sent out for Christmas presents and got there in plenty of time....more info
  • Learn how your attitudes about yourself lead to conflict with others...
    This is a fantastic text which is easy to read and understand. It will teach you how to find out if you are living in a "box" of behavior or ideas that influences the way you treat other people. Read this book and pass along the info to everyone you know - we can learn how to make peace among us all......more info
  • Excellent!
    I just finished this book last night. Hard to put down. Well written and easy to follow, using a fictional narrative to teach principles of avoiding conflict.

    Set in a treatment program setting, several people discover how they are destroying their relationships with their children/co-workers. The reader learns first, how they are wrecking their relationships; second, how to view themselves in a different way; third, how to change AND maintain the new outlook and heal broken communication lines. The Change Pyramid at the end was very helpful.

    Essentially, all this boils down to the Golden Rule and loving our neighbors as ourselves. Where people go wrong is seeing where they fail in this setting. This book, a sequel and a much better personal substitute for "Leadership and Self Deception" gives practical advice and entertaining examples that many could relate to on some level....more info
  • Fantastic -Read This Book!!
    This book was required for a class on conflict mediation. It was fantastic.
    It is a very interesting and easy read. Filled with incredible insight on how we justify our own unkind behavior.
    Do us all a favor, and yourself too- and read this!...more info
  • Brilliant Read on Relationships and Conflict
    This book was recommended to me by another pastor. Since reading it I have ordered around 120 books for gifts or teaching purposes. It is changing the relational DNA of our congregation. The Heart at War and Heart at Peace concept is crafted in such a way to offer deeply insightful ways of changing one's perspective. Though not a Christian book, I have seen my faith system all through the book and when combined with Scripture has been a life-changing event for me and the church I serve. ...more info
  • Get out of the box
    An excellent book for self-improvement, self-analysis, and self-awareness. Helps you to recognize where you make your decisions from and the affect it has on yourself and the people in your life. I'm eagerly looking forward to more books from the Arbinger Institute!...more info
  • The Heart of the matter
    This book is a pleasant, readable story that is actually a parable. The reader does not have to fully agree with the ideas in order to realize new ways of thinking about themself, others, and the deceptions in which we tend to engage. Although the direct lessons in the book are useful, the real value is to cause the reader to think more deeply about the inner sources of conflicts, the way we engage in them, and the very nature of our hearts. And the lessons of the parable apply to human interactions from individuals and families up to nations. I highly recommend this book....more info
  • good book
    I really liked this book. I may have to read it again or at least reference it. It is similar to things I have been exposed to before but new little tidbits for healthy living. I would have liked the seller to let me know the book had a couple of food spills. The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict...more info
  • A life changing event
    This book along with its companion book "Leadership and Self Deception" have altered my life. The concepts discussed, while simple in concept are fundamental in terms of human nature ...more info
  • definitely worth reading
    The story this book tells is a good one. While it may not have the high quality prose of the best novels, what's important is the message it sends on how to reorient your view of yourself in the world. Your "way of being", according to this book, can help you be happier and more satisfied in your dealings with others, and can encourage others to have more positive relationships with you. ...more info
  • Arbinger does it again!
    I was worried that this might be a rehash of "Leadership and Self Deception", but when got into the depths of 'war in my heart, peace in my heart' my fears were put to rest. If we could all live by the principles of this book, we would live better, happier lives. The leaders in this book understand "people" and how magnificent they really are. My book, "Always Remember: If it ain't fun, it ain't worth doing!" would be a good follow up to this as it talks about the potential success of a business that operates with this type of Leadership. Just great, Arbinger!...Wayne Kehl...more info
  • Even Better
    I was so impressed with their first book that I ordered 2 of this follow-up as soon as I knew about it; and was even more impressed with Anatomy of Peace. It is more personal and even better than I expected. I am giving it as a gift on a regular occasion....more info
  • Deep, intelligent, intuitive path to healing and improving any relationship
    A story of a diverse group of people unfolds throughout this book with gentle lessons, insights and methods woven into the dialog between the group members and their teachers. This is a unique way of presenting material that might otherwise be more difficult to process; especially when you realize that changes in others often begin with changes in you. I cannot think of anyone that would not benefit from this insightful book. It is deep and intelligent. This is a must read for anyone struggling in a relationship; including relationships between parents and children, between co-workers, between partners or spouses, or between any two people for that matter. I re-read mine periodically just to keep myself on track. I have lent out my copy so many times that I finally just started buying them and gifting them to the borrowers. The insights are priceless. ...more info
  • The Anatomy of Peace
    Everyone should read this book. It is very easy to read and understand. It can bring people together like nothing else. It teaches one how to have a peaceful heart toward even his enemies. Wonderful book! Should be required reading for all humanity!...more info
    I have purchased and given away many copies of this incredible book. I am re-reading it again with my young son and have given a copy to my ex-husband along with a sincere apology for so much of my behavior and attitude towards him since we began to pull apart. The companion book 'Leadership and Self-Deception' is also amazing. Both should be required reading in schools and in every other organization. ...more info
  • Peace
    The senario is pretty accurrate but kind of cheesy. It would be better with a real life story. The basis of the book is thought provoking, really seeing others as individuals. ...more info


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