1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (123 Magic)

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Product Description

Addressing the task of disciplining children ages 2 through 12 without arguing, yelling, or spanking, this program offers easy-to-follow steps to immediately manage troublesome behavior with reason, patience, and compassion. Parents and teachers learn how to encourage and respect children's growing independence with 10 strategies for building self-esteem. Also discussed are the three most important qualities for parents or teachers to exhibit in order to foster competence in kids. Tips are included on how to prevent homework arguments, make mealtimes more enjoyable, conduct effective family meetings, and encourage children to start doing their household chores. This award-winning program discusses the importance of establishing and maintaining a home or classroom with fair and consistent discipline. This revised edition includes suggestions on how to avoid over-parenting, build children's social skills, and apply the program within mental health agencies and classrooms.

Customer Reviews:

  • Wonderful tool, need consistency, as with any method
    This was a well written, and interesting book, with a TON of great tips, ideas and examples for frustrated parents who are sick of yelling! With four small kids under 8, (now 3,5, 7 & 8) it was nice to have this book. I've had it for years and used it successfully with all my kids.

    An added bonus is, now that my kids are all in school, the school is using this system as well!! So I'm already familiar with it and so are my kids! Made for an easy transition to school rules for my girls!

    I must say, that if you're not up to being consistent and all caregivers on the same page, you'll not be as successful. I find that when we slack off for a while, things start going back to chaos! I know growing up in the age of "a good spanking will cure it all", I like having alternative methods that TEACH and help my kids to learn to think for themselves about the consequences of their actions.

    Another great read was "Love and Logic for early childhood". Gotta love those logical consequences! Oooo.....didn't pick up those legos and the dog chewed them all up....what a shame........more info
  • Magic is Right!!
    I implemented this when my son was little. Sarah, my Goddaughter and two years older knew that we had a "1, 2 3, Magic" house. I sat down and introduced this to them like it was a new game but being clear that it was about discipline. I think they were 2 and 4 at the time. Of course they pushed me to the limit (3) a few times but after that it was smooth sailing. And I did 1, 2, 3 Magic all the time. In stores, in restaruants in the car! One time, and this is true, the kids said, "Do 1, 2, 3 Magic on us!"

    This technique really works!! My son is now 14, an A student and well behaved!...more info
  • A self-help book that actually helps!
    I am not a fan of self-help books in general, but this one really works. It addresses many different scenarios and many different kinds of kids, and really shows you how to use the technique for YOUR child. And it works. The biggest tribute I can offer is my son, who is now ten. When I pull out the book for a refresher, he says "Oh, NO not that again!" I smile (a little evilly), and he starts behaving better immediately. ...more info
  • This Works and Works Quickly
    I'm amazed by some of these negative reviews. I wonder if they read the same book I did or just skipped whole sections. Plus, many of them are clearly operating under the Little Adult Assumption (see chapter 3).

    My 4yo took a while before he got it (we started when he was 3), and he tested me every conceivable way. Some days he still does. It worked for my 9yo (8 at the time) in one day. Those who have said it shouldn't be used with older children don't realize that by the time they are 9, they catch on and you barely ever count them. And what does all this order and peace in your home provide? Hours of peaceful playtime to spend with your children during which they can respectfully express their feelings, without attacking or blaming whether positive or negative. My children and I get along better than ever because I am no longer screaming at them and they are clear on what my expectations are.

    When you're at your wit's end and you buy this out of desperation, you will read through it in one day and get started, but I highly recommend that you read it again a couple of months later to be sure you don't miss relevant things - like "active listening," discuss discussions and counting attacks, etc., etc.

    Happy parenting!...more info
  • better than expected
    I am more than happy with the condition of the book. It was shipped to my house faster than I expected it would be....more info
  • it works
    This is a simply and clearly written book that presents techniques you can use to help you discipline your kids in a positive and effective way. It has worked for us..not perfectly, but we're way ahead having read it and tried to employ the techniques. ...more info
  • Great for the toddler and preschool age.
    This book was great for the younger ages of toddlerhood and preschool. After that, for my kids, it wasn't as necessary, and certainly not more effective than actually explaining and reasoning with my children. It is helpful for the tantrum phase. [...] I read both of these books at the same time....more info
  • 1-2-3- Magic
    This was a very easy read and down to basics advise. I would recommend it to anyone that is at their wits end with disciplining their kids by arguing with them. This advice allows you to count the kids without the argument. ...more info
  • Effective Discipline Indeed!
    As parents we share many rewards as well as challenges with our children. Different stages may require more learning on our parts to deal with discipline effectively. This is an easy technique that truly works. Parents don't get frustrated, and their children listen and follow what their parents guide them to do. Isn't your peace of mind worth it?!!!...more info
  • Good and detailed book
    My son is younger than 2 but I bought this book to prepare myself for when he is older and the tantrums start. What I like about the book is that instructions are detailed and given step by step. Too many parenting books just give general instructions and leave you hanging.It also explains why children do the things they do etc.Defnitely worth the money....more info
  • Saved My Sanity!
    I learned of this book the hard way, a child psychologist recommended it when my the 6-year-old son was in danger of being thrown out of school. I dreaded taking him into stores and I had to sit in the "crying" room of my church, because he would not behave. My son has Aspergers, and some of his behavior had to do with that, mostly it had to do with me.

    I read the book, and the principles in it take a little time to absorb. The main premise (and I'm paraphrasing, in my own words): 1) Give a warning. 2) Give a consequence 3) Take action. Idol threats don't work, you have to follow through. I had to take my crying son out of stores a few times, but it started working. I didn't take long before I really started to notice a difference. Today, 6 years later, he is very well behaved.

    You have to have a little patience, but this does work. I also recommend Boundaries for Kids....more info
  • Does not work for all children
    This book was recommended to my husband and I by a professional we had consulted regarding our "spirited child". The 1-2-3 technique just never worked with him and it was one more thing that made me feel bad about myself as a mother. If this does work for your child, great. But if it doesn't please know that this is one technique and that there are many others that help parents be consistent and effective with discipline....more info
  • great book, easy read
    his is an easy book for parents to follow. Simple techniques that really work. I'm a real estate agent and a busy mom. My doctor recommended this book. The biggest challenge is following-through, but if you stand your ground, then you will see a change. At first, I noticed behaviors getting worse, but with consistency and commitment, then I saw behaviors improve....more info
  • Condescending, mildly useful. Could have been a pamphlet.
    The guts of this book could have been written in 5 pages, easily. I found reading it tedious and condescending. And we've found "counting" to be less than helpful. It may work well for some kids with easy temperaments (but then, why would you be buying a book, right?), but our daughter needs something else....more info
  • Truly is a magical experience...
    That's one, that's two, that's three....go to your room for 5. Ohhhh blissful peace and quiet for my ears. My children were not heathens before but I wanted to have a solid foundation to follow along with my husband so we could be on the same page. It is working like a charm and I recommend giving this technique a try! I originally borrowed the older version from the library and decided to buy the newer rendition so I could reference it for a long time. Happy reading and good luck fellow parents, care takers!...more info
  • It Works!
    I received a copy of this book from a friend when I reached my wits with my 3 year old. We were fighting over every single thing, and it was straining my relationship with her to the core.

    I must say I don't use the discipline technique exactly, but have found all of the principals and ideas so enlightening. I can see using it more completely when my child is a bit older, and it is nice that I know how to do it. I recommend this book to anyone I can because it has has given me a parenting style that works and improved my relationship with my child 100%....more info
  • Good ideas but do it your way not his
    This is a great book and does work but you have to temper it with a bit of love also. Yes it keeps you calm and in charge but you have to allow your child to express themselves sometimes and they need to learn to do that respectfully. If you just put them in "time-out" and then never discuss what they did wrong how will they know if they were punished for the way they spoke to you or what they said. I'm sorry but letting them destroy their bedroom and then living in it as punishment is just wrong. Children have to learn to take care of what they have not that it is ok to throw temper tantrums as long as you just do it in your bedroom. Also in one of his accounts of how to do the counting, he is punishing both children for one child's actions in several cases. So you are telling one that it's wrong to take the toy away but telling the other they are wrong for not just handing it over at the first request...OK so don't bully but also allow yourself to be a doormat...HUH!!! I will use some of this book with my children, it's great to understand the various ways of manipulation and recognize what my son is doing so I can deal with it but it's not OK to count a child for expressing their viewpoint or feelings.

    I guess my point is the general idea of the counting and then time out is a great idea that is quite effective in disciplining your child but his ways are a bit too rough for most children and leave them feeling like our puppets not our children who we love and cherish....more info
  • If your kids act like wild animals, this is the book for you!
    If you are tired of hearing your kids pitch a fit for no good reason for the umpteenth time and you're at your wits end, this is the book you've been waiting for. Let's face it; kids can be like wild animals. But even lions can be tamed with the right approach. And 1-2-3 Magic provides simple techniques that really work for transforming your 'jungle' back into a peaceful home. As a psychologist who works with parents-and as a parent and grandparent myself-I have used and have recommended the simple and effective techniques described in 1-2-3 Magic many times and have been amazed at how quickly they work. But you sure don't have to be a PH.D. to understand this book. It is short, simple and to the point--and it makes for great bathroom reading! Whether its temper tantrums, sibling rivalry or other common 'challenges' that kids test us with, this book provides short, simple ways to control kids' behavior without losing control of your own! Using this approach: (1)kids become much better behaved; (2)parents remember why they wanted kids in the first place, and (3)parents and kids really begin to enjoy each other again! I also highly recommended the 1-2-3 Magic DVD, which is actually very funny and entertaining and a great way to see this program in action. Good luck!

    Dr. Reed

    ...more info
  • Fast, great product, and appreciated!
    Thanks for the expediency on delivery. The book is going to be helpful I know. Thanks much!...more info
  • Awesome! I cannot say enough about it.
    We have an almost 3 year old that is very stubborn and considered a strong willed child. She would laugh when I would try and put her in time out. My husband and I tried everything. Then I heard from the school about this book. I highlighted it and have now ordered the dvd. I love it. Most of the time I don't even make it to "two." My daughter looks up at me and it is this look of "oh okay she is not kidding now." I use it out in public and is effective too. I get looks of admiration from other parents.
    Debra...more info
  • This advice works and the kids come out better for it.
    We tried many approaches with our children involving treating them as little adults such as the STEP program and had nothing but trouble. We didn't find this book until our children were approaching teen ages but the advice was still excellent and transformed our relationships. This author, years ago put in writing simple techniques that allow you to set rules, to create a situation where the children learn boundaries even before they fully understand the need for rules, and everyone in the family, large and small, can get through situations without unnecessary stress or embarrassment. Everything you see on TV with the nanny shows is the embodiment of these simple principles. ...more info
  • 1-2-3 Magic
    I have been a daycare provider for over 20 years. I have ten children (toddlers and pre-schoolers) with assistants. I recently introduced 1-2-3 Magic to the staff and then to the children, and it has been like "magic!" The children co-operate and stop unacceptable behavior at the count of one of two. It's been a real gift. I highly recommend it to any parent or daycare provider.

    ...more info
  • easy read
    This book is easy to read with lots of practical suggestions for behavorial solutions. We haven't used it for long and have already seen some results....more info
  • A "must-have" book for all parents
    As a behavioral health specialist, I have parents use this book with their children. It also helped with my children, especially the one who was using long "discussions" as a way to manipulate situations.

    One reviewer gave this book only one star, but seems to confuse what needs to be done in discipline situations with other situations. Effectively stopping inappropriate behavior does not mean that parents do not observe, listen to and talk with their children about their feelings, etc. It does mean that they put firm limits on how their children behave! To fail to do this is to set a child up for a lifetime of problems. These children become those who are upset with police officers who can't understand that they "had to" hurt someone else because they were angry! I do agree with the book recommendations that the unhappy reviewer included. Particularly "How to listen so your children will talk and talk so..." and "Siblings without rivalry." Both FABULOUS books!

    I just had to enter in another postive review as I don't think it's fair to expect one little book to cover everything there is to know about something as complicated as parenting. It does a fantastic job of helping parents get control over discipline problems, and even provides solutions to the common ways some children may try to circumvent those efforts. ...more info
  • It Works!
    My son's preschool teacher told me about this book last year and I was skeptical about buying it...well after attempting several things on my own, I figured why not give it a try. I listened to about 30 minutes of this cd and was able to get the understanding of the method down enough to implement it over the weekend. Well, I was amazed at how my kids reacted to this. They understood it right off the back and I am totally amazed. Sometimes, I don't even have to count to "2", once I say "that's 1" and hold up my finger they get it together. I can't wait to really get into the rest of the cd...this is very good. I have two boys ages 5 and 7 years old....so i feel if its works for me it can work for you :)) - ...more info
  • Great book.
    Great program for parents struggling to stay in control of their children. Great for managing kids with behavioral problems....more info
  • Fabulous and EASY to put into action immediately
    This book came highly recommended to me and I'm so glad I read it. It has really helped our discipline in the household. It's easy to understand, makes sense, and doesn't insult your intelligence....more info
  • 1-2-3 Magic
    I bought this for my daughter who has 4 young children. She thought it was so good she bought it for her four siblings who all have young kids. Must be good....more info
  • It works!
    My wife I and have been supporting our daughter with the application of 1-2-3-Magic as an effective parenting tool. I also stated using it as I am a substitute teacher (kindergarten to fifth grade). It is amazingly simple, based on common sense and easy to implement....more info
  • It really is Magic!
    My daughter is two, and is definitely in the "Terribles!" By the end of Day 1, she knew what to expect and had started to clean up her attitude. She is now behaving like the angel we always suspected she could be, and it's only been 1 week!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you! 1-2-3 Magic is fantastic. I started to implement it with my daycare children, and it's like a new home here!...more info
  • Good book on Discipline
    This book is fun to read and very informative. It's also very straightforward and easy to understand. It's just hard to draw the line sometimes and can be difficult to stick with but it's worth a try!...more info
  • Good Book
    It is a good concept but nothing works all the time.

    Not bad......more info
  • TRULY LIFE-CHANGING for frustrated moms
    My oldest son will be 4 next month and has always been a challenge. He is sweet,affectionate and smart, but also very hyperactive, strong willed and stubborn. by the time he was 3 he had been kicked out of 2 preschools (we were told that other children were afraid to come to school and that 5 teachers had quit because of him :0 ) He was in speech therapy for a severe speech delay (due to hearing issues, which tubes solved last summer) and had been recieving Occupational therapy for Sensory Processing Disorder (he was labeled a "crasher" with the need to throw, hit and slam into things) We had even tried behavioral therapists and psychiatrists, some tried to medicate him and diagnosed him with ADD and ODD at the age of 3???!!!! All to no avail. We couldnt take him anywhere, I was on the verge of quitting my job and staying home with him and then I found 123 Magic and.........

    WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!!!! It is like Magic. We have been consistently using this for abou 10 days now and the turn around has been amazing!! My formerly impossible child is now sweet, obedient and LISTENS TO ME!!!!!!!!!! now he is still stubborn and strong willed, nothing will change that!! (and I wouldnt want to!) but life is so much more peaceful!!!!!!!!!! I havent even had to hit 3 in the past 3 days for anything, I get to 1 or 2 (sometimes even just saying, Please do blank or stop doing blank or Im going to count) and he says, "Oh sorry Mama" and ceases the inappropriate behavior!!!! For instance yesterday he wanted to play with the water hose, I told him no it was too cold, and he turned it on anyways, I said very calmly "please turn off the water, thats 1, thats 2 and he ran over turned it off and said "sorry mama" and that was that. before this week it would have been a full scale battle with me picking him up kicking and screaming and hauling him inside and holding him in side while he was sceaming and throwing things and trying to get back out and turn the hose back on. This is just one example of many more!!!!!!!!!! We have also started working on start behaviors and he is now getting dressed with minimal to no fuss in the morning and going to bed at 8:30 every night with no fuss. So not only is he behaving better, but he is getting more sleep and thus is less irratated and more apt to cooperate. Oh and he is sitting and eating dinner with the family every night too!!!! I think the best part of this is that I no longer feel so irratated with him and I''m no longer yelling and making a multitude a threats, a simple 123 and a 3 minute break or taking away whatever is causing the issue is all that is needed. He knows I mean business and that I will do as I say and I think that is a comfort to him, he can no longer get away with everything, I think he actually feels more secure with limits that are gently, fairly, and consistently enforced.

    If you have a difficult child, or have found that you are not the best disciplinarian (inconsistent or not always following through) then do yourself and your family a favor and get this book. It has changed our lives in less than 10 days!!!!!!!!!!!!...more info
  • Worked like a charm!
    I bought this for my daughter who has a two kids, ages 2 and 3. The technique worked the very first day. It was amazing. Forget all the psycho babble that's so prevalent in today's parenting advice books. Kids want guidelines. If you don't give them that, clearly and consistently, they'll keep pushing, looking for those boundaries. ...more info
  • This Does Work!!!
    I bought this book after learning about it from my daughter's preschool teacher. My husband and I were at our wits end with our daughter. She doesn't listen and we swear she has a hearing problem : ) because we always have to repeat ourselves before she responds. The advise in this book (when used..sometimes I forget to use it) does work. It is amazing that once you say "That's 1" my daughter stops doing what ever she is doing. I would recommend this book for every parent. It has great examples to help you out and all around good advice!!...more info
  • a helpful solution......
    This book is a very good book to motivate the helpless parent. If you stick to the rules, you will see a difference in your child. The only problem we have, is maintaining the rules. If you can do it, you will be successful!...more info
  • 1-2-3-majic:effectiveDiscipline
    An answer to the prayers of even atheistic parents!! A classic. What can you lose by trying? Get this and follow its advice. A grateful grandfather.(Two generations of trial and error.)...more info
  • Quickly sent
    Thank you for your promptness in sending this text. It is in the condition that was listed...more info
  • Such a great help!!!
    This book has been a tremendous help for our family. We have four children, but our six year old is always whiny, yelling, and "picking a fight" when told no. It seemed every little issue we had escalated into a long yelling match. This book is so simple and logical -- I so wish I had found it sooner. Once the kid knows the new "rules", she has no reason to keep doing the bad behavior. I think it makes everyone happier and we have much more time and effort to do fun/happy things!...more info
  • useful book, but not the "perfect" fit for every family
    I think every one should read this book that has kids. I have a 5 year old foster kids that is AWEFUL. I used this method for a while and it worked, but he got use to the 1, 2, 3, and would wait until I got to 2 to do anything. I want him to stop what he is doing when I say to stop it. So I modified it to telling him one time and then to time out. This book gives a lot of senarios, so if you are one of those, "What if" type people like i was, it will be good. The theory is great, but I think 3 is a little much....more info
  • so far so good (used on kids 5 and 3)
    Methods used are very clear in the lecture. As parents we have learned so much and had our parents known of these techniques we would have been better children I am sure. Hind sight is 20/20. Learn all you can from all that have something to teach. Good luck. Good purchase and worth the effort and price. PS. Be sure to follow through and keep to the program! He warns what will happen if you deviate....more info
  • great book
    Learn how to be a better parent is the greatest gift we can give our children
    A Moment of Peace: Relaxation for Parents AudiobookA Moment of Peace: Relaxation for Children...more info
  • Magic!
    This book has been a life saver for me and my family. Since reading this book, I have better control over both my 4 yr old son and 11 yr old son. We don't have arguments or fussing or fighting anymore! I think this book is a must have for ALL parents, even if they don't think they have discipline problems! Enjoy!...more info
    I ordered the audio tapes and listened to them at work. Once I was finished with the whole series I started counting immediately and after two days my 3 year old knew she wasn't going to be able to get away with her past behavior. I say past bacause we have been using the system for a month and we have a whole new child. It is challenging in front of people and in public but you have to stick to your guns -- my worst challenge is with the grandparents! I highly recommend this product....more info
  • It Works!!
    I have only had the book for a couple weeks and have been doing the discipline as described in the book and it is working really well. I have a 3 year old boy who is very active and very head strong, but this system is really helping a lot....more info
  • I can see the appilcation LATER, but not for young children...
    I have an 18 month old, so naturally, I am starting to need to find disciplinary measures that work for our family.

    I have read many books thus far, my favorites being Supernanny: How to Get the Best From Your Children and more importantly, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years. Oh and also this one: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk... a VERY cool book that applies at many ages.

    My big issue with this system is that I don't want to give my child 3 chances. I really don't. I remember getting 3 chances as a kid and thinking, "ok, 2 more chances to go before I get in trouble."

    I suppose for some families this will work, and definitely for older children.... but not for us any time soon!

    ...more info
  • It works if you do it
    Buy this book if you are tempted to spank - we did and we are so thankful we found this solution instead of having an adult tantrum (spanking). It really makes a difference for our preschool-age girls. Both have very different temperaments (sensitive & dramatic vs. strong-willed and defiant). It seems that the authors anticipated our children's reactions and this helped for us to be prepared and handle appropriately. When our home feels chaotic, it is because we are not applying this simple and effective method that brings order in a firm and loving way. One of our daughters (guess which one:) even started to vomit and urinate in her room but doing time outs in the bathroom helped to remedy this....more info


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