The Discipline Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have a Better-Behaved Child From Birth to Age Ten

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From the bestselling authors of The Baby Book and The Birth Book comes The Discipline Book, the definitive guide to raising happy, well-adjusted, well-behaved children. Seasoned parents of eight, Bill and Martha Sears draw on personal experience and their professional knowledge as childcare experts to provide an authoritative approach to a broad range of disciplinary issues and practices. With focus on preventing behavior problems as well as managing them when they arise, the Searses offer clear, practical advice on everything parents need to know about disciplining young children. Believing that discipline starts at birth, the Searses discuss baby discipline, disciplining the toddler, mother-father roles in modern parenting, saying no, self-esteem as the foundation of good behavior, helping a child to express feelings, the constructive use of anger, good nutrition for good behavior, and sleep discipline. On handling problem behavior, the Searses cover sibling rivalry, spanking and alternatives to spanking, breaking annoying habits, and eliminating bothersome behaviors like whining and talking back. The Searses strongly advocate teaching children values like apologizing and sharing, and explain how to deal with such issues as lying, stealing, and cheating. In addition, the Searses address building healthy sexuality and discipline in special situations such as after divorce and in the single-parent household.

Customer Reviews:

  • Really just okay...and a little disappointing
    I believe in many attachment parenting principles, so I ordered this book once my child reached the appropriate age for discipline. I have to say I was more than just a little disappointed with this book.

    Most of the advice centers around prevention and distraction. While I agree with both approaches, it simply isn't always realistic to prevent bad behavior or distract a child once it happens. One simply can't avoid every situation that may be difficult for a child. There will come a time when your child is just being stubborn, ornery or emotional with no apparent cause and you will need to just deal with it. If you are looking for a book with specific strategies for certain behaviors this isn't the book for you.

    On the other hand, the book isn't completely with out merit. It offers some good insight into why toddlers and children behave the way they do. Just knowing this can help you put things into perspective and deal with your children more effectively.

    ...more info
  • Plenty of wisdom, little science
    Here is a great book to own for Dr. Sears fans and "attachment parenting" families. It gives balanced advice, emphasizing the importance of respecting and understanding the child as a person without falling into the "parent as powerless mentor-friend" trap. The Searses were in the process of raising eight children when this book was written, so it contains a great deal of wisdom gained from vast experience.

    Probably the biggest drawback in this book is the tendency to use the term "attachment parenting" interchangeably with the more general psychological term "attachment" (which is basically the same as love, according to my understanding). I will not deny that many families find that Dr. Sears's famous attachment parenting methods (such as the family bed and infant wearing) actually do promote good attachment, but they are means to an end and not mandatory for all.

    Another weak area concerns the issue of spanking. The Searses are known for holding to the respectable view that spanking is not the best way to discipline, and that other methods are preferable. I have no problem with their view, but the so-called "science" that is used to support the view is very poor. No effort is made in any of these studies to look at responsible spanking; rather, all physical discipline is lumped together, including angry spanking, inappropriate spanking, and outright child abuse. Sorry, but these "studies" either have little to do with the issue at hand (loving discipline) or are simply worthless wastes of time that do not belong in this book or any other! The Searses themselves probably made the decision to not spank based on personal experience; they should cite this and leave the junk science alone. As an aside, the parent who does choose to spank will find a section in this book regarding how to do it lovingly, which I endorse, and which, ironically, is similar to advice offered by pro-spanking writers like Dr. James Dobson.

    To sum up, I recommend this book. However, if its gentle methods aren't working, by all means look for more assertive (but still loving) methods. Children thrive best where discipline is effective, as well as loving and fair....more info

  • Great advice from great experience
    Like other books in the Sears' library, this is a well-written wealth of sensible, practical and valuable resourse of information. An intuitive approach gives the reader numerous possibilities for uniqely using the techniques that work beautifully. An added bonus: the introspective analysis of your own parenting stylie BEFORE and DURING the reading of this book gives you a wonderful opportunity to heal the wrongness in your own upbringing, to better yourself and discipline yourself as you learn about parenting from the Searses and from your child. The best possible therapy for the whole family....more info
  • Disappointed
    I'm a big fan of the baby book, and I have to say I was really disappointed when I read this one. It's like it's written for people who can't think for themselves. The advice and explanations given in this book were things I take for granted that all parents understand. Either that or I'm a perfect mother- (and I know I'm not.) Buy something else instead- unless you don't really have a clue....more info
  • Loving Guidance
    I first read The Discipline Book When my son was 2. He is now 6 years old and I feel that it is the appropriate time for me to write a review. After 4 YEARS using the wonderful ideas in this book I can speak confidently of the results that I see in my child by using this book.

    Ofcourse it hasn't been the easiest ride, like all aspects of mothering, but by reading this I was able to tap into the developmental phases that my son was going through leading to an understanding as to WHY he was acting out as he was. I was able
    to LOVINGLY GUIDE my son through the transitional stages of toddlerhood to childhood.

    With the help of The Discipline Book my son is a sweet, sincere, outgoing, confident little boy who has grown through the respect that I showed him while helping him cope in the "adult" world. I never brought him down while discipling him and the results speak louder than any review I could leave here.

    HIGHLY RECOMMENDED...more info
  • Disappointing!
    I am a strong believer in the general ideas espoused by Dr. Sears (family bed, avoiding spanking, being respectful of children as people, etc.), but I found this book very disappointing. First, Dr. Sears provides many strong recommendations about what a parent should and shouldn't do, but virtually no practical suggestions or examples. Second, in the focus on being respectful and responsive to the child, there is a strong implication that a parent who attends to his/her own needs is practicing poor parenting. I believe that a parent who sacrifices too much of her/his self is often a worse parent than those who have boundaries that are respectful of BOTH themselves and their child. Third, there is a strong and explicit value that the mother is and SHOULD be the primary parent, with the father playing a quite peripheral role. If you want a parenting book that teaches you to be warm and responsive to your child with practical examples, "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, How to Listen So Kids Will Talk" is a MUCH better choice....more info
  • Seller resolved issue and refunded money
    Although I did have an issue with this seller and their way of doing business, we communicated and the issue was resolved. I appreciate their willingness to do the right thing. ...more info
  • Wonderful Resource
    I am a big fan of Dr. Sears so I knew this was going to be a great book. I have already tried some of the techniques and I can see that they are quite effective. Dr. Sears approaches discipline with a caring and communicative style. I have even used some of his suggestions with my second grade students! I am so happy to have this book in my parenting library. ...more info
  • Wimpy parenting
    I have a very strong willed daughter who I co-slept with, nursed until 14 months of age, wore in a sling when very young and needed contact with me a lot, and stay home with. Dr Sears implies that this will cause you to have a naturally well behaved child. Not so. I found this book very un-helpful in trying to get ideas on methods for dicipline. Dr Sears must have naturally well behaved children -- how lucky for him. He seems to believe that it is ok for a child to tell you he "hates" you because he is expressing his anger. How disrespectful!!! If I had "expressed my anger" in such a way as a child my mother would have sat on me (not really, but she would have grounded me for sure). He suggests using pillows, couches, etc. for children to hit while angry instead of a person. I thought that was sort of strange. To me that's encouraging tantrums. Isn't the point to try to avoid them? His aproach is very "lovey" and "nice", which simply DOES NOT WORK with a strong willed child! I disagreed with half of this book, but I really tried to get what I could from it. However, once I got to the part where he encourages using counting to get a child to behave (AGGGHHH!!! my pet peeve!!), I tossed the book right into the used bookstore bag!! I have yet to meet a child who is not a total monster whose parent uses counting. If you have very very mild children, this book might be worth a read. If you have a tyrant on your hands, don't bother....more info
  • great
    I agree with about 95% of Dr Sears advice. I have learned so very much and so far have had an easy time implementing effective discipline on my son. Easy to read - one of the best books I've read on disciplining your child....more info
  • Perfect Parenting
    This is a must have for all parents. The Dr. Sear's books are always full of practical easy methods that work. The book has an easy to read and understand layout. It offers information for each age and stage of your child so we as parents can understand what they process and how they feel and react at that specific developemental stage. A great guide! ...more info
  • Life saver!
    Amazing book full of wonderful, time-tested, practical advice. What's so great about his methods and ideas is that he teaches you how to focus not just on your child's behavior, but also on their heart. It's a communication-centered approach to discipline that leaves both parent and child feeling good about the situation. It fosters a high level of trust and respect between parent & child. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!...more info
  • Every child has a foolish instinct ,discipline them early to give them a better future living to enjoy in a Godly way.
    I recommend this book,to know more of a step by step guide to disciplining your kid. My wife and I congratulate the SEARS couple for having thought of having series of books on nurturing the whole family.In Truly this book would help our family deal with challenges in this worldly life.

    God Bless!...more info
    Everything about this man and his wife i love. I practice (our family) are active Attachement Pareting ppl. I am now reading this book into getting in to gear for the upcoming months. My mom also used/uses this book for my little borther who is now going to be four in July, and he is living proof that this works. He is a attached kid and VERY MORAL, its incredible how moral and great this little boy is and might I add he is smart as a whip, im not just saying this cause hes my brother its cause its the truth. If you want a wonderful kid, I recommend this book...more info
  • I do not recommend this book.
    It is unrealistic....The authors give off a "holier than thou" attitude....they did not share their mistakes that they made along the way or what they would have done differently....I disagreed with almost 100% of their strategies....I believe that structure is extrememly important in a child's life (although not rigid structure), and I also believe that a child should be able to learn how to soothe himself to sleep - the authors claim that children should never be left alone to put themselves to sleep.....I also believe that the father's role in child rearing is very important, but the Sears' appear to see it as the mother's responsibility....They also discuss how a parent should be so connected with their child that they will be able to prevent the child from crying by tending to child's every need before a crying spell if the child's feelings aren't allowed to be expressed or validated!!! That is not healthy! Overall, I think that many parents will finish this book feeling inadequate and like they failed their child....there are many more books on the market that provide a more realistic view of parenting...I apologize for not commenting on any of the positive points of this's moot at this point and the negatives far outweigh the positives....Obviously, I do not recommend this book....more info
  • Practical, Sensible Advice
    I am glad to have this book to provide specific ideas for handling the common disciplinary situations with my daughter. The authors help you to understand why your child may be behaving in a particular way and how you can help shape behavior as well as instilling values and self-control. They provide tools that can be modified to fit your own circumstances....more info
  • An essential book in a detachment oriented culture.
    I wish all of Dr. Sears books would be prenatal prerequisites and parting gifts at the hospitals! There is scientific evidence,personal experience, and genuine caring. Indeed,in an ideal world we would all be parented this way- people would value people over things.We have attachment parented our daughter by responding to her cues from day one in terms of nursing,crying,sharing sleep,holding and simply doing what feels humane. Zoe is almost three and this approach has truly helped me to know my child and has served as the foundation for effective discipline which is simply guidance, whether firm or gentle,it is setting limits,and correctng and redirecting. When you have done this from the beginning, "discipline" isn't something that you do all of a sudden now that they are a toddler. Talking to her early on and explaining things and having age appropriate expectations builds trust- this makes for a more harmonious relationship overall and quite an asset for there are days and weeks that are just hard- there are certainly challenges to being an "at home" parent-even with a great natured toddler,I believe that all of the Sears' books have affirmed the value that I have on the attachment process in the first three years of life.Attachment parenting is an investment.Our society wants independence and quick fixes where children our concerned: let someone else parent them,leave them to cry,spank,scream,ignore.These methodst have grave long term consequences-a good reason to buy this book! Read this book....more info
  • No real practical advice
    I am a big fan of attachment parenting and applaud Dr. Sears for his work. The Discipline Book, while offering plenty of do's and don'ts, didn't offer up enough alternatives. My child never fell for distraction, even as an infant! I didn't feel satisfied after reading this book. Worse, I felt like I had to be a perfect machine. I recommend The Mr. Rogers Parenting Book - Helping to Understand Your Young Child by Fred Rogers. It offers advice for real parents with real children in very real situations. ...more info
  • Love your child, love this book!
    Almost all of the parents I know say they want their child to grow up to be likeable, successful in a complex world, and capable of close loving relationships.

    Dr. Sears, a Pediatrician of 30 years, shares the way he and his wife Martha Sears R.N. (also a pediatrics expert), have raised their eight children with these same qualities in mind. With a loving approach tailored to each child's individuality, this couple gets results, while respecting the rights of all concerned. Wise, witty, and wonderful....more info

  • I loved it! My favorite Sears Book.
    What I love about the Sears' books is that it isn't a "method" per sea. It represents a general philosophy with suggestions and research on a "best practices" approach. I really like the Discipline Book because it explains "Attachment Parenting" while also giving development guidelines. I recommend it, highly. ...more info
  • An Approach by Professionals Who Practice What They Preach
    I feel so comfortable with the philosophy of this book. I must admit I had previously thought of attachment parenting as
    relating only to nursing babies. Sears clearly explains that a solid foundation in a "connected parent/child relationship" along
    with firm boundaries, effective communication skills and behavior modification strategies, will (over time) develop a child's
    conscience and internal motivation to WANT to do the right thing. I have 3 young children under the age of 6. I highly recommend this book for it's comprehesive explanations of theory and attention to issues of special needs children as well as to some common worrisome issues of 6-10 year olds. If you have young children like me, I also recommend a very practical A-Z guide called "The Pocket Parent" that is written only for parents of 2-5 year olds. This literally pocketsized book is not written in paragraphs, but rather sanity saving bullets of quick read tips and examples often including the exact words to try. It is organized alphabetically by behavior topic (anger, biting, gimmes, hitting, listening, lying, morning crazies, whining, etc) and can quickly suggest a strategy at a moments notice. I refer to these 2 compatible books again and again. I am pleased with
    the increase of cooperation from my kids as well as the general feeling of well-being in my household.(...of course, that's on a
    good day!...My kids are normal and often quite challenging!)...more info
  • For Those Who Want Alternatives
    This book is an excellent resource for those who want to discipline their children but don't want spanking to be their sole resort. As someone who loves her parents but doesn't like the way they disciplined her, I found the information given to be very helpful. In the introduction, the authors say that the expert on your child is you, and if any of their ideas seem too permissive or too harsh, to go with your instincts. This reflects the "reader-as-capable" tone that prevails throughout the entire book and which makes it a must-read....more info
  • Deceiving
    I have to say that I discovered Dr. Sears shortly after my 1st son and being a very young mom (19) I thought he was God and all his books were amazingly well written and so I followed everything he told me to do and felt guilty all the time but I thought it's just because I'm young I don't know what I'm doing I just have to try harder. Well my son DID get very attatched to me and he does love and adore me but when my 2nd son was born only 13 months after my 1st (bc isn't 100% effective) it became clear to me that not only was this style of parenting high-demand it was also highly impossible with two kids that close together and now that my son is 16 mos old and throwing temper tantrums every two seconds, it's also highly impracticle. The IDEAS sound good but the whole theory is based on the fact that if you are connected your baby will just "behave" and if they don't it's something you're doing wrong, you need to "distract" and "redirect" and babyproof your house better.It's age appropreate behavior, it's cruel to intervene. And I did babyproof, and distract and redirect, but what do you do when you go to grandma's house who ISN'T babyproofed? Let me tell you there is only so much distracting and redirecting you can do before SOMETHING has got to give. And as far as the age approprate excuse, yes there are some things that are age appropriate and shouldn't be punished but some things DO need correcting. After all speeding and talking back and not listening to parents is technically "age approprate" behavior for teenagers as well, but does that mean we just hand them the keys and tell em to have fun? NO! We let them know what is acceptable and not and set boundries. This book is just not good advice IMHO. Add to that, that daddy's role in discipline (and everything else) is to sit back and be "supportive" and you (mom) end up doing all the work. This book just isn't something that works in the real world and I know I'm going to offend some ppl by saying that but it's just unrealistic and will leave you feeling tired, unfulfilled and with a toddler who screams all day with no real way to control him....more info
  • Not good enough for strong-willed children...
    The ideas and concepts that Dr. Sears talk about in this book are a good guide but they are not always practical in reality. I think the parenting attachment concept is very good and even a "must" but it is not enough to discipline a strong-willed child like mine. Dr. Sears says that if you practice parenting attachment your child will be willing to please and I do not think this is true for all kids, sometimes you need more tools. Now, after asking different mothers and researching and reading more books about the subject I know that there are kids that will want to please and comply with rules and others --like mine-- who will want to test parents limits (and this is a normal part of their development and not the parent's fault or lack of love).

    So I think it is a good book to read but depending on the temperament of your kid try other sweat and loving but firm approaches and literature ...

    My favorite book about the subject that gives you practical techniques and steps to follow is "Setting Limits" by Robert J. Mackenzie
    ...more info
  • Found simple yet effective discipline tips
    This book has really helped us put our toddler in bed at night as well as manage some bothersome behavior. However I wish the book was providing more real-life examples as it tends to be on the theoretical side....more info
  • Reminds us to use common sense
    I love these authors, especially this book. It reminds us that we know our children best and can find practical, co-operative resolutions to most discipline problems....more info
  • Excellent
    This book is not for those looking for "steps" to discipline. It's more of a philosophy, a way of being in life and in relationship with your child. For those who want to help their child grow up to be secure, confidant, and knows what's the "right" thing to do in a situation....more info
  • valuable wisdom from parents of eight
    Recently a friend with children younger than mine said she could use some parenting advice. So I pulled out some books I had read a few years ago to lend to her. Upon perusing the pages of The Discipline Book I thought, "Gosh, I really need to read this one again!" It offers sound advice on how to set limits with love. Lots of love. Other books are too geared toward "training" children, which I do not care for. Dr. Sears is a medical doctor and Martha Sears, his wife, is a nurse. They have eight children. This combination is a valuable wellspring of information and is derived mostly from personal and hands-on experience. Plus they are just very likable. There is one full-page section on "fighting in front of the children." I have read and been told many times that it is detrimental to fight in front of the children. While I agree in principal, it is very difficult to wait hours or even days before you calmly sit down in private with your partner after the children go to bed and hash out something of burning importance. Dr. Sears puts an emphasis on couples arguing (or "discussing") in a respectful manner, even when kids are around. This is so much more realistic. Besides, when you work out disagreements in a mature fashion if front of the kids, which means with no screaming and no name-calling, etc., you are setting a good example. After all, your kids will have to solve lots of problems in their lives. All of the Sears's books are great, from what to do when they are babies to what to do when they enter the challenging toddler period and beyond. ...more info
  • Answers for Parents of Toddlers
    My son was about 2 1/2 when I bought this book. It was a God-send when it came to working through and resolving all the typical toddler problems like being fresh (independent and stubborn :o)), potty-training, thumb-sucking, and regression. In addition, it helped me work through my own lack of patience and the stress of being a parent while dealing with everything else life throws at you. There was a multitude of helpful hints for almost every situation. Great advice from a father of 8 who is a pediatrician (and his wife happens to be an RN too!) - so they oughtta have a good idea of what works, right? I have already recommended it to a number of friends who have children a bit younger and older than mine... The earlier you read this book - the better! Don't wait for the Terrible Two's to strike before you buy it!...more info
  • Must have - but only if you are ready to change yourself, not your child.
    This is not a book about how to discipline your kid - this is a book how to discipline yourself in a way you'll never have to "discipline" your kid again.

    I have read "bad" comments about this book, and I understood that this people had different expectations. If you search for a book which will tell you how to punish your kid or force him/her to obay your orders - avoid this book. There is no advice for such a thing inside. This book aims mostly on you and how you should change your approach to your kid, so you will never need to punish or push your child. This book will help you discipline yourself first - and then the kids will just follow. Simple as that. However, the most difficult thing to do is - to admit ourself that the problem is in us - child is just our reflection. If you can not cope with that - than this book is not for you - save your money, time and bad comment. If you are ready to start changing yourself first - buy it, read it and use it. Every day, every minute....more info
  • Sears does it again
    Innovative, practical, sensible advice. The Sears, once again, take you to a place where you know you should be-- putting your child's esteem first and at the same time raising a self-disciplined, socially responsible child. Best of all, this book offers discipline solutions for very young children -- which I have found difficult to find addressed anywhere else....more info
  • It was somewhat useful, but not a cure-all.
    I found some of the suggestions useful. For example I was able to minimize getting into the yelling/spanking routine. Others (most) were idealstic and unrealistic. For example, for most situations the authors suggest talking calmly and gently to your child but I that is impossible when a toddler is screaming at the top of his lungs for 30 minutes and can't even hear anything being said! I found that some guidelines were too permissive for our family. I disagree with their advice to apologize to your children when you get angry-it makes parents look weak and out of control. I also think this book could leave some parents feeling inadequate because no parent is calm and rational 100% of the time....more info
  • Simply the best!
    I highly recommend this book to all parents, regardless of how they plan to raise their child. It provides a commonsense, practical and gentle approach that really works! Thank you, William and Mary Sears....more info
  • I really disliked this book . . .
    I have to agree with the negative views posted here. I wanted to add my review to help balance out the numerous positive reviews.

    I too consider myself an "attached" parent - I nursed both my girls for at least one year each (while working full time) and work very hard to be an effective parent even though I'm not home with them every day. As other reviewers have said, this book does the attached parenting thing to death. It more than implies that if you're an attached parent, you'll simply know what it is your child wants or needs and if you don't know, you must not really be an "attached" parent. In my experience, that isn't reasonable - no matter how good a parent you are, there are times when you simply aren't going to understand what your child wants. That's ok! The real world does not revolve around our little darlings, no matter how much we'd like it to.

    The advice to simply and gently "redirect" a toddler from something he or she wants is totally laughable if you have a toddler like I did who does not understand the subtlety of a gentle redirection! In the real world, children need both negative and positive reinforcement to learn right from wrong and safe from unsafe. This book misses the mark by a mile in that respect....more info

  • Great advice form great experience
    Like other books in the Sears' library, this is a well-written wealth of sensible, practical and valuable resourse of information. An intuitive approach gives the reader numerous possibilities for uniqely using the techniques that work beautifully. An added bonus: the introspective analysis of your own parenting stylie BEFORE and DURING the reading of this book gives you a wonderful opportunity to heal the wrongness in your own upbringing, to better yourself and discipline yourself as you learn about parenting from the Searses and from your child. The best possible therapy for the whole family....more info
  • Sometimes a little unrealistic
    I'm relatively new to the Mom Game, and I've been very happy with suggestions from Dr. Sears. The Baby Book has saved me on more than one occasion. So when my sweet little boy got to the stage where I felt like I was saying NO every 5 seconds, I thought The Discipline Book would be an ideal resource. In many ways, it is the resource I hoped it would be. Dr Sears covers different types of discipline styles and seems relatively objective in reviewing what's good and bad about each. It was nice to see the pros and cons, which reinforced the idea that you need to pick and choose what works best for you and your child. I really like books that stress trusting your intuition. The thing that I found a little unrealistic is how Dr Sears seems to think that as long as you're close to your child and follow the Attachment Parenting philosophy, your child will be a perfect angel who will obey because they want to please you. I think this truly underestimates the role of personality and disposition. Even children who are securely Attached are still going to have stubborn and independent streaks. Or worse. And while I love Dr Sears and think this book is a good starting point, I don't think this is as complete a guide to Discipline as it could be....more info
  • essential; practical; humane
    If I were to recommend only one discipline book, it would be The Discipline Book. I first encountered it when I was trying to help my sister deal with her 3-year-old's severe behavior problems. While other reviewers report frustration at the lack of "specifics," I found this book extremely practical. It gave my sister and I the tools we needed to effect immediate change in my niece's behavior and, because of the attachment philosophy, her well-being too.

    This is how we applied the information in The Discipline Book: my niece had been literally attacking other children in her day care, but she was much better-behaved at home. After reading through the book it seemed to us that she was probably not feeling secure with her mother, since children will tend to be worse-behaved with the persons they trust the most. Talking with her daycare attendants revealed that her acting out started shortly after her mother made the decision to enter the Army. A discussion with my niece then revealed that she thought when her mother went into the Army, my niece would be left home alone to take care of herself. A few days of consistent reassurance that she would not be abandoned, combined with plenty of affection, eliminated the behavior problem.

    So, I found the book to be extremely practical; and I have since effectively used its principles in caring for other children. Although the authors do not focus on particular situations, they enable caregivers to understand a child's own experience of behavioral problems and to compassionately address the underlying concerns. While not all discipline involves behaviors as complicated as the one I described, all effective discipline does require compassionate and empathic parenting. The Discipline Book gives caregivers the tools required for this sort of effective, humane disciplining....more info

  • Not impressed
    While I found this book somewhat helpful, I felt it was lacking in advice for single and/or working mothers. I agree with the reader who said that the book did not give much advice when dealing with practical situations. In my opinion, most of this book was just plain common sense. I think this book should have done more to teach parents succesful ways to implement parenting strategies rather than just vomiting them back to us....more info
  • Insightful parenting
    I love this book. Dr. Sears is not soft on discipline at all, but explains a discipline philosophy that keeps parents in charge and kids happy....more info
  • I love Dr Sears but only liked this book
    I am a huge believer in attachment parenting, but found this book to be a dollar short and way to late. I bought it when my son was 18 months old and reading it felt like I had already made tons of mistakes that wern't reversable as a parent. This book may be more helpful for "parents-to-be" or brand new parents. I also felt like some of the expectations were a little high... all in all I thought that the ideas and the general guidlines were good, just not many examples to help....more info
    This book is written by intelligent people, who have an enlightened approach to child-rearing. Their "prevention" method of attachment parenting is the key, so that you don't have to become one of those parents who are constantly giving out "consequences" and "time-outs."

    Anyone with any kind of sensitivity toward children would appreciate this book.

    I also recommend The Natural Child, by Jan Hunt, as well as The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedoff, and The Magical Child by Joseph Chilton Pearce....more info

  • The Discipline Book-The best book I ever bought~~
    This book is wonderful, I started out with the Baby Book by Dr. Sears and it is known as the "Baby Bible" in our house, anything we had a question about we could find the answer in that book, it's a must have for any first time mom! The discipline book has not let me down. I was struggling with how to handle some situations when my daughter transitioned into toddler hood and this book has taught me that one type of discipline will not work in every situation and how to communicate with my daughter. It has made our relationship stronger and her transition less stressful now that I understand how to teach her what to do and what not to do. This book gives you freedom and teaches you how to teach your child and how to have a strong long lasting relationship with your kids. I believe there is a time and a place for all types of discipline and having the knowledge of all the types of discipline gives me more options when I am dealing with a tough situation with my daughter and allows me to feel good about teaching her how to get through life. I recommend this book and the Successful Child book as's not what you think, you determine what sucess means to you and then you go from there. All in all these books are driven towards a strong parental relationship with you children so they have a strong foundation in life. We have enjoyed our daughter so much in the short time we have had her (she is 19 months) and I acredit a lot of those good times to these books. The taught me to understand where she was in each stage of her life and understanding allowed me to enjoy the stages she has gone through instead of fighting them. These books have made me a better mom!...more info
  • Help for working moms?
    Does anyone write a good discipline book for working mothers? I enjoyed Dr. Sears' Pregnancy Book and bought this looking for advice as my 21-month old son gets older. However, in addition to many of the criticisms already expressed (little practical advice, holier-than-thou, etc.) this book is based on the premise that the mother stays at home with the child. While I believe in SOME of the tenets of attachment parenting, I went back to work when my son was 12 weeks old. I refuse to believe that my (and my husband, since he is an integral part of raising our child - unlike the assumption of this book) discipline efforts are doomed just because I "weaned" my child from attachment too early. I will keep looking for a more applicable book....more info
  • a working mom
    Dr Sears completely ignores the HUGE population of working mothers! The book goes on and on and on about attachment parenting and how you should allow your child to disattach from you and not the other way around....well, the majority of the mother's in this world do not have this choice! Furthermore, he made me feel as though I was a selfish mother for not carrying my daughter on my hip for the first year of her life. My daughter is very attached to me and we have a very close relationship....yet I started back at work full time when she was 8 weeks old. I feel that Dr Sears only addressing those mothers that stay at home full time and even then he cautions about leaving your child! Easy for him to say!!!! ...more info
  • Not the best Sears book
    I own many books by Dr Sears and have learned and gained much from them. This one isn't nearly as good as the others. The touchy-feely approach to discipline doesn't really help me with my children. They just don't respond in a textbook fashion to the ideas presented. An alternative that is in line with the Sears methods is Kid Cooperation: How to Stop Yelling, Nagging and Pleading and Get Your Kids to Cooperate....more info
  • The Discipline Book
    I really like the Dr. Sears approach to parenting. The Discipline Book gives me the tools I need to work with my daughter everyday, this has made me a more confident parent....more info
  • Educate yourself
    A child in my family is a text book example of the unconnected child which Sears descibes. He is a distant, destructive child who is a result of everything Sear's opposes - he was left to cry as a baby, as young as 6 weeks, until he threw up repeatedly. His feeding schedule was strict, even though he cried from hunger. When he began exploring between 9-12 months, his little hands were flicked and smacked and he was being spanked on a very regular basis by his second birthday. Time-outs are ineffectively used and respectful communication rare - he is teased and his angry feelings laughed at, and he has had pepper put in his mouth for saying inappropriate words. This from parents unwilling to read anything or take advice. Now he's 3 and it's everybody else's fault why he's so intolerable. Do your children a favor, read what you can while they are babies and don't rely just on instinct - you need to be educated. Unfortunately, contrary to many opinions, parenting does not come naturally and many parents don't use enough common sense, respect or compassion with their children. I fully expect tantrums from my daughter, but when it comes to that time, I have not only seen what NOT to do from my own family, Dr. Sears has also outlined exactly what happens when you don't prepare yourself.

    Attachment Parenting works - even if you don't accept all of it, there are ways to make it work for you. The important idea throughout this book is that you are there for your baby - you are building a lifetime of trust and respect for this little human being who will one day be someone's spouse and parent. Your relationship with your child is the foundation on which to build their self-worth, self-esteem and confident interactions with others. Your child hold a mirror to your mistakes, so be caring enough to be proactive....more info
  • Love the child centered approach
    I'm a first time mom of a 15 month old, I didn't want to spank, slap, or yell. I was looking for a loving approach. I also could NEVER leave a child to cry, so I felt much relief when I started reading this book! My child is responding well (especially for a VERY active and strong willed child!!) I feel I am enjoying her more, understanding her behavior helps!! My only complaint is about breast feeding, I agree that it is THE BEST, however my child is adopted (I tried pumping to induce lactation but was unsuccessful and feeders leaked etc.) They REALLY should have had better info about bonding/feeding for bottle fed babies!!!!! My style with the bottle was to always hold and rock, NEVER EVER prop the bottle and snuggle close-looking in her eyes and talk or sing. In spite of most opinions that bottles should stop at one, I feel that if breast feeding is encouraged well into the toddler years then what is wrong with a bottle!!!! We still lovingly share the morning and bedtime bottles!!! Follow your heart and your baby!!!!!! I still love the book and refer to it often....more info
  • Great guidance
    As a newer parent with a history involving growing up with abuse, I find this book to be really insightful and helpful. I think that some parents may find the contents of the book to be tremendously basic; but, for those of us who didn't grow up in the most ideal situations, it's quite helpful....more info
  • good info
    I would love to give a long explanation on this book but I think I would bore you. To sum it up it is a good resource to own and read. But, there is always an but, if you want to save money just but Sears's Baby book. It is everything in one book. Anaother great resaource is his Fussy baby book. This is a must. The discipline book is basically a chapter out of his Baby book.
    What every you decide Sears is a excellent resource and more people should adopt his parenting advice. If they did there would be a lot more nicer people in this world as a whole. ...more info
  • Different kind of discipline book
    Because Dr. Sears focuses on having a relationship with your child, not just a quick and easy remedy for misbehavior, this is a different kind of discipline book. Every child is different. Every family is different. Having one set of "rules" for every family is unrealistic and will not work for everyone. This book teaches you how to listen to your childs needs and wants...which again will be different from the neighbor's child's needs and wants and create a nurturing enviornment for them. As a working mother, attachment parenting principles were incorporated into our lifestyle because of the many benefits of the techniques. We had to tweek them a bit, but we made them work. As a result, we have a child whose "healthy detachments" and "appropriate behavior" amazes our friends and family. He's not perfect, but he is healthy; physically, mentally, and emotionally thanks to Dr. Sears and his family. ...more info
  • Disappointing - still searching for answers
    I was looking for a book with practical advice on how to handle real-life situations. I felt most of the book talked about how to parent, i.e. cosleeping, wearing baby, etc, but did not give advice on how to handle a specific situation. What do i do when my child runs away from me toward the street and then hits and bites me when I pick him up? I don't want to spank, but a 24-month old just doesn't take to "a talk" or timeout like Dr. Sears says he should. The Sears Birth Book was amazing, I recommend it to anyone, but this book did not help me answer my questions....more info
  • this is peaceful parenting
    For those of you looking for instructions on when and how to spank your child... you will not find it here! This is a gentle approach to discipline with AP (attachment parenting) at the forefront. AP families will love this book, I know we do. Dr. Sears describes age-specific behaviors to expect such as tantrums, biting, and all the other milestones you may encounter as your child becomes more independent. I have found everything to be pretty much exactly like he states. That is, if your child feels right, they will act right. This applies to people of all ages so it should come as no surprise that this works for children too. After all, when we treat others with respect, we tend to get respect in return. If we treat children with empathy, they will learn to feel empathy towards others, and so forth. Some feel that this is a new-age approach but I disagree, I feel that AP is a biological approach to parenting, not a cultural one. On the contrary, spanking is a cultural approach as are cribs and bottle-feeding.

    Attachment Parenting is certainly not the easy route and I certainly don't recommend it for parents who think their needs come before their child's. It takes absolute selflessness to be an AP parent and I applaud those who follow the lifestyle. Your children will thank you for it. Nothing worth having ever comes easy! ...more info
  • Big disappointment-not for parents of kids< 3
    Big disappointment...SAVE YOUR MONEY IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A GUIDE FOR KIDS > 3 YRS!!! 1/2 the book tries to sell the attachment parenting FOR BABIES BUT TITLE SAYS BIRTH TO 12 (misleading) and very few tips are given for disciplining pre-school & school age kids. We support some principles of attachment parenting but not others (eg...don't believe in mom wearing baby all day, family bed) as we are aware of people who had had BIG problems using these techniques (not mentioned by Sears of course). Full attachment as they describe is impossible for todays professional women (I am a Dr..can't wear my baby to work, thankyou) & his books tend to support highly stereotypical traditional parenting roles anyway. I was hoping to get some good advice for 4-6 yr olds, not "practice attachment parenting in babies and they'll behave later" mentality. The huge chapter critizing spanking was probaly necessary, although I believe very few educated parents support spanking anyway. As a biomedical scientist, I am disappointed by Sears using anadotal observations as scientific evidence to support attachment parenting. As a well-educated medical professional, he should know better....more info
  • An Approach by Professionals Who Practice What They Preach
    I feel so comfortable with the philosophy of this book. I must admit I had previously thought of attachment parenting as relating only to nursing babies. Sears clearly explains that a solid foundation in a "connected parent/child relationship" along with firm boundaries, effective communication skills and behavior modification strategies, will (over time) develop a child's
    conscience and internal motivation to WANT to do the right thing. I have 3 young children under the age of 6. I highly recommend this book for it's comprehesive explanations of theory and attention to issues of special needs children as well as to some common worrisome issues of 6-10 year olds. If you have young children like me, I also recommend a very practical A-Z guide called "The Pocket Parent" that is written only for parents of 2-5 year olds. This literally pocketsized book is not written in paragraphs, but rather sanity saving bullets of quick read tips and examples often including the exact words to try. It is organized alphabetically by behavior topic (anger, biting, gimmes, hitting, listening, lying, morning crazies, whining, etc) and can quickly suggest a strategy at a moments notice. I refer to these 2 compatible books again and again. I am pleased with the increase of cooperation from my kids as well as the general feeling of well-being in my household.(...of course, that's on a good day!...My kids are normal and often quite challenging!)...more info
  • Great reference book.
    Just like most William Sears's books, The Discipline Book is a great reference. It is thorough-- covering everything from mealtime manners to annoying behaviors to nonviolent discipline. This book has been a big help with our toddler....more info
  • If you are a parent, this book is for you!
    If you are not a proponent of Attachment Parenting, I encourage you to read this book. If you are already an "attached parent", simply draw wisdom, sit back and enjoy.

    In short, The Sears explain why it works. With more than 3 decades of parenting experience of their 8 children, the Sears offer their tried and true wisdom on how to have a well disciplined child.

    With humor, insight and personal experiences from their home, the Sears cover all aspects of parenting. This books helps parents give their child the tools to grow to be a well disciplined individual. And it is all done with simplicity, common sense and love.

    Regardless of the age of your child or your current parenting methods, this book is for you! Don't be mislead by the title, this book is not about punishment. It is about teaching discipline and self control in a nurturing, loving environment.

    Give your child a head start in life. Get this book. Share it with your spouse. It will change your whole idea of parenting and discipline. And, it really works!...more info

  • Lots of ideas and insights - pretty good
    "How to Have a Better-Behaved Child From Birth to Age Ten" is based on the Sear's "attachment parent" philosophy. Some people believe that this is not the best philosophy. Some claim that it doesn't work at all. Yet others prefer to follow their friends, mother, etc advices. My experience? Attachment parent IS working VERY WELL for us! Our little boy is growing up healthy, happy and clever, with no behaviour problems of any kind. Part of this success (so far at least) is thanks to this and the other books of the the Sears' series.

    Are they easy to follow? NO! It takes time, commitment, and lots of work. My advice? If you want magic solutions, cookbook formulations to behaviour problems, this is NOT the book.

    Finally, as a first-time dad, I am very satisfied with the informations, insights, ideas and understandings from this book, and the rest of the Sears collections.

    Claudiano - Brazil...more info
  • Disapointed, Not enough techniques or new ideas
    I loved Dr. Sears massive tomb of a baby book so when my daughter started walking and I needed help with discipline I immediatly chose Dr. Sears' book. I was very disapointed.

    I can sum up the book in a sentence. If your child is "attachment parented" then they will be good. (oh and don't spank)

    Well my child was attachment parented and she still slaps me across the face. She is 2 so she doesn't understand timeouts, redirecting works with some things but not others, and positive reinforcement is a slow slow process.

    I suggest that you buy Sears' Baby Book and stear clear of this one. The baby book will give you a chapter or so on his discipline ideas....more info
  • An Ounce of Prevention...
    Like "The Child Whisperer" by Matt Pasquinilli, this book teaches that prevention is the answer to the majority of all behavior and discipline issues you will have with your children as they grow.

    The Sears say that the time you spend creating the structure of simple order in your child's life is far more impacting and helpful than any type of external control you try to force onto your children when they get older. Simple and profound - I have found that this definitely works!

    I carry "The Child Whisperer" with me as a useful toolkit of techniques to use with my children, and I keep "The Discipline Book" on the nightstand as remedial or "reminder" reading before I go to bed....more info

  • What a WONDERFUL purchase!
    My husband got this book for me for Christmas from my 14 month old daughter. I am a TRUE fan of Dr. and Martha Sears and this book just re-enforces what I already knew...They are an amazing pair. There is no ISTRUCTION in this book, but rather information about how children will act and why. There is gentle guidance to help you understand how to handle your child's unpleasant behavior. The best thing about this book is that fact that Dr. Sears uses his own experience as a parent of 8 children to illustrate how things can go wrong when discipling and how to get back on track. He is not PREACHY, but rather you walk away from this book knowing that even the EXPERTS have problems disciplining their children. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone! My child doens't really have discipline issues yet, but I am prepared for when she does....more info
  • My treasure!!!!!
    It has been said that ones trash is another treasure, I bought this book in a goodwill! And I thank the lord to have put me there and find it!!!
    It is the BEST book EVER that you will read, I feel very passionate about it because, it has helped me so greatly in all aspects of my parenting, and that includes myself!
    I love his tone, you can feel his love to what he is committed to and for his family. This is a manual of love, of how to love your kids better, to understand them better, and even understand yourself better.

    It can even help you to confront your past so you can fix it because it WILL come in between you and your parenting.

    His botton line in this book is to just be the mother you want (follow your intuition)to be for that human being that you are in charge to raise and while you are doing it, " be the best you can be".

    Trust me I have bought plenty of books that are just focusing in how to discipling your toddler, their technics may work, but this book encoragues you to "learn" your child so you can learn how to discipline (Discipline=teach)him better and gives you insights of babies and toddlers point of views.

    BUY this book you will only enriching yourself and your family!!!!
    ...more info


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