Divorce Poison

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Product Description

Your ex-spouse is bad-mouthing you to your children, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, you could lose your children's respect, their affection—even, in extreme cases, contact with them.

Backed by twenty-five years of experience in helping families, Dr. Richard Warshak presents powerful strategies for dealing with everything from tainted parent-child relationships in which children are disrespectful or reluctant to show their affection to disturbances in which children virtually disown an entire side of the family.

Divorce Poison offers advice on how to:

  • Recognize early warning signs of trouble
  • React if your children refuse to see you
  • Respond to rude and hateful behavior
  • Avoid the seven most common errors made by rejected parents

This groundbreaking work gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children and provides legal and mental-health professionals with practical advice to help their clients and ensure the welfare of children.

Customer Reviews:

  • This book is a must read for divorcing parents
    This is a subject I am all too familiar with. As a divorced mother of four, I know first hand the damage that can be inflicted on the children by a vindictive ex. Read this book and study it, it will give you the tools you need to cope with an ex-spouse who is out of control.

    Christina Rowe
    Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce...more info
  • If you only read one book this year, make it this one
    Divorce Poison If you only read one book this year, make it this one! "Divorce Poison" by Dr. Richard Warshak bucks conventional wisdom to say nothing to your children in the face of the other parent's "Bad-Mouthing, Bashing, and Brainwashing" otherwise known as "Divorce Poison" or Parental Alienation Syndrom-PAS. "Most books for divorced parents admonish them not to place children in the middle of their conflicts. But they provide little guidancce on when it is appropriate to crititcize a parent to a child and when it is destructive." He discusses "the systematic process of psychological manipulation and how to help children resist and reverse its influence" in a practical hands-on way. He explains why reasoning and telling children outright that they are being brainwashed don't work.

    He goes on to explain that there are varying degrees of alienation. That in most cases "does not sever the tie between parents and children, but it does taint the quality of their relationship. It creates unnecessary tension for the children and more conflict in their relationship with both parents. The tension and conflict may result in children who are more withdrawn and reluctant to discuss their thoughts and feelings, or children who have less respect for their parents' authority." I think he hit the nail right on the head with what MANY of us at SWC.COM are experiencing with that statement.

    He doesn't claim to have all the anwers, he considers the book a "work in progess" based on the many years of insights and experiences in his practice. Although full of practical explanations and advice, he does caution the reader that "You have the best chance of success if you follow this advice under the guidance of a competent therapist who understands the problems of alienated children" and goes on to offer lists of resources and how to chose a therapist.

    The only negative thing I can say about the book is that I thought in the beginning he listed more examples of cases where the PASing parent was the father instead of the BM. But half-way through the book, I was able to put that aside because the explanations and advice helped me make so much more sense out of my own situation. I thought he did an excellent job of explaining how to help your kid and not feel so helpless and frustrated. And for those extreme cases where salvaging the relationship with one's PAS'd children is just not possible, he talks about how to let go while leaving the door open to a future relationship.

    Review by: - secondwivesclub.com...more info

  • A MUST HAVE for any parent with a vindictive ex
    Thank you for your book and your insight. This is the only book I've found that gives me some hope. What is going on in my poor children's lives is a crime. The father has extended possession, we are joint conservators, divorced for 5 years and are both remarried. He has stated that he won't rest until he has full custody of the children. His goal is for my children to hate me for leaving him. He is very tricky in his tactics. He contrasts good with bad and implies that HE is good. He calls me a different name in front of my children, thus depersonalizing me to the children. He makes my children feel sad about loving me. He has put the children in the position of us vs. them. He is bashing me within earshot of the children and directly to them, he is stripping me of my authority in the children's lives by telling the children I am an unreasonable, angry woman, someone to be feared. He and his wife have my children "pray" for me and extended family members. He lies about my past and has totally reinvented our history. He even reinvented the time my son got his body cast off sharing minute details about how we drove him to the doctor's, how the saw sounded, how the plaster smelled, how daddy cried and how brave my son was. In reality, the man was out of the country at the time! It's sickening.

    With this book I might be able to save 3 of my 4 children. My 15 year old daughter is long gone. I couldn't compete with DisneyLand, a cell phone, the promise of a BMW and $100 a month for an allowance. And that was just during her summer visit. It can happen in 30 days or less!

    Deprogramming is a slow process but there is no other book out there with the detailed, step by step action a parent can take. Don't wait another day to get your hands on this book. If your kids come back to you depressed, distant, and standoffish, don't waste another moment. Implement the ideas in this book to prevent any further damage. God bless you Dr. Warshak.
    ...more info
  • Dr Stephen Lee Morrison
    A well written book that details problems encountered by parents who are dealing with the destruction of their relationships with that child or children at the hands of the other spouse. The author presents the many problems encountered and then offers suggestions or remedies to help thwart the destruction of the parent-child relationship. Parental Alienation Syndrome is emotional child abuse and a form of domestic violence. "Good Book!"...more info
  • Life Saver
    Before I read this book, I felt completely lost, like I was the only one that had to deal with an ex that could utterly seem down right mean and evil. This book gave me the hope to keep fighting for my children and that there was more people that was in the same situation as I was, and there really is not rationalization for what my ex was doing. I would suggest this book, for any one that can not figure out why their ex won't work with them, compromise, share time with your children with you or even show a kind human emotion toward you.This book has probably saved my relationshp with my children....more info
  • GET THIS BOOK if you love Ur kids and dont want to lose them
    I never thought it could happen to me, I was so close to my 3 boys, and they loved me. What happened? If I had read this, and heard about PAS earlier, maybe I would have been more insistant on getting my time with my kids. The ex has denied access so much, and now the kids are acting like I never thought they could. For the first time in his life, by boy won't look me in the eyes. And last week he said he did not want to see me.

    I read just the first 3 Chapters in this book so far, but am sure to read it all. Anyone who has an alienating ex needs this advice. I strongly urge you to read this book.

    Jeff...more info

  • Very Informative
    Very eye opening. As a victim of divorce poison,I was told "These things happen." I felt very alone and helpless. This book gave me great insight as to reasons why someone would do this to their own children. It gives even better insight into why the children follow suit and what the long term effects are for them, the REAL victims.

    This book gave me courage, knowledge and better yet, direction. I live in a small midwest town. Our court system, lawyers and even mental health professionals have yet to acknowlege PAS as anything other than what happens when adults divorce and put the children in the middle. I now feel that I know better how to handle myself with both my ex and my children.

    I hope that ultimately the offenders get harsh penalties and or punishments. Reading this book and eduacating ourselves and then others involved in one very important step foward. Someone has to protect the children from this kind of abuse....more info
  • A Roadmap to Relief
    Not only will this book provide you with the tools to help your children and yourself, it will help you to understand why the alienating parent does the things they do. I have read many books and articles on alienation, Dr. Warshak's is far superior to anything I have seen thus far. The book is informative and based on his interaction with people suffering this devastating experience. It is not opinionated but honest and comforting. I went so far as to e-mail Dr. Warshak this last Saturday. We are relocating as soon as this custody nightmare is over and I wanted to find therapists that specialize in alienation issues near where we are moving. Dr. Warshak responded personally to my plea for help 3 hours later, not only giving me names of psychologists, but also giving me some reassuring advice. My husband and I have spent the last 4 months keeping quiet, on the advice of our attorney and family therapist, but we were wrong to do so. This book has taught us how to respond to our alienated children, while still taking the high road....more info
  • Divorce Poison
    informative, accurate and advice is well explained. The children involved are ALWAYS of the highest priority. As usual though grandparents are forced to take a back seat and await a time when things are so out of control and the children are damaged before the court system recognizes the important roll they play in the children's future....more info
  • Divorce Poison
    This book is great. I fit one of many parents in it. As a mother, it took me a long time to read because I was crying too hard to be able to read it. ...more info
  • Excellent tool
    After a couple of years of my husband and I trying to figure out what was wrong with my step daughter who's now 11, we finally found out that her mom has been repeatedly telling her numerous appalling lies about her dad which she believed and became scared and distant from her dad. She never mentioned the bad mouthing from her mom because she was told by her mom if she spoke up the judge would take her away from her mom. Finally it all came out during an extended stay with us and with the help of a couple of books "Divorce poison" and "The boys & girls book about divorce" we have been able to appropriately address this concern and the positive results already show in my step daughter. Since using the book's recommendations my step daughter has opened up about a lot of negative things going on at her mother's home which we were not aware of, and we have now been able to guide her on how to deal with it emotionally and how to address it directly with her mom. She acts and looks so much better now, her confidence has already improved and she is now relaxed with us like during the old time. This book is an excellent tool to help deal with a very sensitive and troubling situation that can seriously damage a child emotional welfare. ...more info
  • Not what I was looking for
    I was looking for something that my step daughter could read and understand how and why divorced parents might try to turn their children against the other parent. Which is the situation her father and I have had to go through. I wanted something that would better explain why parents do those sorts of things and why they are not healthy. This book is written for adults and I believe is a good tool for parents to use in understanding the other set of parents actions but a child would not understand reading this book....more info
  • A Must Read for Divorced Parents and Therapists
    This is the only book out that tells you how to recognize and began to stop alienation. The target parent must be in powered to stop alienation. Alienation is child abuse and must be treated as such. This book stands alone on a topic that has been overlooked years, few therapists are educated on the subject....more info
  • Excellent content, much- needed help for parents
    This book covers an area I have not seen addressed in the literature, but which is often seen in clinical practice. It gives on-target, detailed descriptions of parental behavior ranging from mild alienation to full-blown, premeditated alientation. The author also provides practical ideas for combatting each level of behavior. His approach is to NOT be passive in the face of alienation attempts, which I agree is not helpful, in my clinical experience. Highly recommended for any divorcing parent....more info
  • A must-read for people in high-conflict divorces
    As a child psychologist who conducts child custody evaluations, few situations are more painful than those in which alienation is going on. Unfortunately, most attorneys, courts, and parents are unfamiliar with the details and dynamics of alienation and too often, the children are the one's who lose. Those of us who do child custody evaluations have known about alienation for quite some time. Finally, there is a resource to help parents recognize and deal with these issues in a straight-forward manner. Alienation takes a tremendous toll on a child's life and parents on the receiving end of alienation feel totally powerless. Any mother or father who is caught up in a high conflict divorce must read this book. Parents I've recommended the book to tell me it reads like their biography. I can't stop recommending the book to parents and legal professionals. In terms of state-of-the-art books on divorce and child custody, this one must be read....more info
  • Very Important Work to Protect Children
    Anyone who has seen parental alienation inflicted on a child up close knows what a horrible form of child abuse it is. Children afflicted with this child abuse often carry the psychological wounds for the rest of their lives. Unfortunately, our divorce system encourages this abuse by needlessly designating one person as the real parent and the other parent as a scapegoat and not a real parent. This creates a situation ideal to proprogate this sort of abusive behavior.

    Fortunately, this book provides a good survey of this form of child abuse, including how to recognize it and how to deal with it. This is important because the first time you see this abuse, it is so horrible you can't believe it is happening. This book is a must read for anyone in the divorce industry, especially judges....more info
  • a MIRACULOUS help this book was!
    We thought our situation with a 7-year old being in the middle of a divorce war was hopeless. I am very pleased to say that out of ALL the books, articles and online information I have read, Divorce Poison is truly the most thorough on the subject of brainwashing and deception, and was the most relevant to our situation. I was so touched by the book's relevance to me personally that I contacted Dr. Warshak to thank him for writing the book. Take the time to read it. Even a few sections if you can't read it all. It will be worth it! ...more info
  • Superbly written, informative and very useful
    I've read many books in this area, but none as well written, authorative and useful as this one - it should be compulsorary reading for all parents, whether together or separated. The Take Action sections have practical steps that will really help you in your bewilderment and feelings of helplessness and remember that virtually all children benefit from the involvement of both of their parents, so never give up, no matter how hard the struggle or pointless it may all seem. Thankyou, Dr Warshak....more info
  • saving children
    Divorce poison is a beacon of hope on the sea of psychbabble and legalese dealing with parental alienation. Unlike other books, it does explain this phenomenon, the damage it does to children, and what to do about it! PAS is a form of child abuse. In my work as a consultant with with a Family Court in Michigan, my colleagues and I have dealt with hundreds of cases of alienation over the past 20 years. Few books have impacted me as this one. It is not only soundly researched, but most of all it demonstrates that wisdom can be written in plain English. Bravo Dr. Warshak!...more info
  • Excellent read.
    I bought both this book and the one called FAMILY COURT HELL through amazon. If you read Divorce Poison first and FAMILY COURT HELL next, you actually see what harm is done to children where one parent tries to poison the childrens minds against the other parent. In FAMILY COURT HELL, a real life child access case that went on for ten years, the mother had spent all those years trying to turn her three little girls against their father. But eventually, the mother instead saw her daughters run away from her to be with the dad they still really loved and missed-the mother ended up losing out, and all through her own fault. Both books excellent reads and a must read for any parent whose ex is trying to turn the kids against them-or an ex thinking of trying to poison the kids minds!. ...more info
  • Finally! Help to Protect Against Alienation
    Being a " target " of alienation is probably the most frustrating position a parent can be in. This is the first book
    to offer help in stopping it. I plead with professionals to educate themselves on this subject.. If you're a target of alienation this book will in power you to stop it. This book
    is an important step in the war that needs to be fought against alienation. Richard Warshak has the courage to call it like it is and take a stand. Read this book and give a copy to a friend that needs it or a professional who can help....more info
  • Pro Custody Evaluator becomes victim of PAS
    I was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice (specializing in custody evaluations)who 'retired' to become a full-time mom 12 years ago. I saw and identified cases of alienation but the phraseology and science wasn't even what it is today which is still fledging and controversial. When it happened to me, my mistake was not to fight poison with poison, but to silently "take the high road." I figured two wrongs didn't make a right but the damage worsened.

    Finally one year ago, when I decided to fight back by "countering lies with truth," I appealed to my child's school, feeling the need for support and oversight so as not to go too far. Incredulously, the lower school principal and school counselor turned me into Child Protective Services, believing the "revised version of reality" presented by my child, the father and stepmother. I was advised by the school's counselor to "go read a book on stubborn children." Fortunately, CPS saw the situation for exactly what it is and our own custody evaluator had the clinical accuity to recognise that my child "has the attributes of alienation." However, she had NOTHING to offer except to suggest individual therapy for me and for the stepmother. Making dozens of calls, I learned there are no supports out there. When you are a target parent, you are truly alone.

    I inadvertently came across Dr. Warshak's book at a friend's house, read it throughout the night and have been handing out copies ever since to friends, therapists, and attorneys. I wish I had had it a year ago; it might well have prevented the situation or at least stemmed the damage which will take years to reverse. Last week I renewed my Clinical Social Work license and in 6 weeks I will base my first Parenting Support Group on the solid foundation of Dr. Warshak's work. If that isn't a testimony in favor of this masterful piece of work, I don't know what is. The book sells itself. Sharon Marie Chester, LCSW, Metairie, LA...more info
  • Outstanding Book
    My granddaughter has alienated herself from our family under the influence of her mother. Before reading this excellent book, I suspected that she had been brainwashed, but knew little about the symptoms and effect of such malicious intent. I only wish I had read this book a year or two ago, so that we might have avoided the pitfalls which have led to such extreme alienation.

    Dr. Warshak writes in an easy-to-read style, and gives many helpful hints to ward off the effect of "divorce poison". He is right on target. It seemed as if he were writing about our situation. He is thorough, and leaves no question unanswered.

    I have written to him, and received a response. He is both compassionate and understanding, and the children are the focus of his concern.

    I would recommend this book to anyone divorced with kids, and not just those who are newly divorced. It took almost 12 years for this situation to manifest itself in our family....more info

  • A very thankful mother.....
    I am a mother of an 11-year old girl and was recently involved in a very high-conflict divorce. My daughter was sytematically stripped of her "mother/daughter" memories which were then replaced with father/daughter memories that didn't exist.

    I had no idea what was happening let alone knowing how to neutralize my daughter's anger and the degredation of our once loving and incredibly strong relationship. Then, I read "Divorce Poison." It was as if it was written just for us!

    I followed every single suggestion Dr. Warshak had for parents in my particular situation, and it WORKED EXACTLY AS HE SAID IT WOULD!

    Not only did it work, we are back on track and enjoy an even closer relationship. Thanks to Dr. Warshak, my daughter now knows to trust her own experiences - what SHE sees, what SHE hears, what SHE experiences - rather than what she is told of her experiences. Consequently, she is now BULLET-PROOFED against future manipulation, even though she is still confronted with manipulative situations. She sees the truth for the truth and has become very skilled at identifying what is not truthful. She has regained her deep trust in her mother and our unwavering/strong relationship.

    THANK YOU DR. WARSHAK!...more info
  • An inspiring book from an equally inspiring man.
    This book obviously is written for adults but it's really about our children. Dr. Warshak outlines very exquisitely the downfalls for the "do nothing attitude" that is expected by the courts and some (if not most) mental health professionals.

    This is part of an E-mail that I wrote him: (and yes, he will reply!)
    "To sum it all up: (if you read nothing else) Thanks for the book and the tools to avoid the "do nothing" mentality. I have been told to do nothing but have been feeling guilty because I chose to do something when nothing wasn't working. There's obvious benefits to being selectively and very cautiously assertive."

    There's so much more that needs to be said about "divorce poison," PAS, etc. There's a vast dichotomy in personal opinions due to the relative lack of understanding and scientific research. I suggest you buy multiple copies and send them to your attorneys, mental health officials, and anyone else that can benefit from it (use it as partial payment for services rendered, it sounds funny but I have done it). Anyone that can write a book and personally ask for readers input is a SAINT in my thinking. Richard Warshak definitely has the knowledge, talent, and scientific background to make a huge difference in the lives of our children and I believe he has only started. I give him 6 stars for going above and beyond the call of duty.

    Ultimately it is up to the parents to counter the "divorce poison" by being proactive and assertive but most of all acknowledging their own poison. By reading some of the reviews on this book it's no doubt commonly a two way street. It's a natural tendency to fight poison with poison because it's such an effective tool but as you know it's the last thing a child needs.

    ...more info
  • Finally, some actionable advice
    Over the past three years, my wife and I have consulted innumerable resources to help us address the toxic environment her ex has created and the poison he has injected into our children. Time after time, we were advised to "take the high road" and essentially do nothing. Even our child psychologist told us, "The kids are fine. They know what is going on and they are fine with both parents. There is no need to address what you think is going on." Meanwhile, our kids continue to blame my wife for breaking up their family, tell her they hate her, tell her she deserves to suffer, tell her she is not their mother anymore, tell her they want to hurt or kill her, reject any overture of affection, and exhibit most of the sypmptoms of alienation as described in the book. Until we came across this book, we were resigned to helplessly watch our children fade away from us and adopt their father's anger, hatred, and violence towards us.

    Finding this book felt like a miracle. Every page felt like it was written for us and about us, specifically. In fact, we used the word "poison" to describe what the ex was doing, long before we found this book.

    What makes "Divorce Poison" worth every penny are the recommendations for positive ways to take action in every situation and work towards eliminating or reducing the the pain, anger, and alienation. Without the insights and guidance found in the book, we would have continued splitting our time between doing nothing and responding to the children in ways that only served to strengthen their bond with their father and their resolve to hate us. It was also very reassuring to know that we were doing some things right, albeit not enough of the "right" things. By explaining the psychology behind the appropriate reactions, it became very clear what we need to do and say and how we need to do it.

    If you are in a situation where your ex is poisoning your children and corrupting their hearts, I highly suggest you read this book. The damage done is not limited to your relationship with them. Because of the nature of the abuse, children carry these scars and distortions into their adult life. This poison will most likely compromise their ability to engage in healthy relationships for the rest of their lives, if the damage is not controlled or reversed.

    I can not say enough good things about this book or the author. All I can do is highly recommend to anyone in this situation, to read this book....more info
  • Effective strategies for dealing with an ex-spouse determined to use your child as a pawn for revenge
    This book offers sanity saving strategies for dealing with an ex-spouse who is hell bent on using your child to exact revenge in the context of a contentious divorce. For those of you who have been wracked by guilt, subjected to verbal vitriol, and exhausted by ineffective legal and psychological interventions, Dr. Warshak's systematic and well thought out strategies will help you to heal. Significantly, he does not make the assumption that the fathers are the only parents who are victimized. There is a large audience of alienated mothers out there who have been craving acknowledgement and assistance in dealing with this insidious pattern of behavior. This is a book to read again and again, and to share with mental health professionals and those in the legal profession, with the hope that effective legislation can begin to address parent alienation....more info
  • Everyone must read!
    This is a perfect book for what I was looking for. It describes someone I know to a "T". I feel like I could have written it myself! Dr. Warshak is so insightful! Now I just need to figure out how to get the courts to recognize these behaviors and how to "punish" vindictive exes..... ...more info
  • This book should be a court ordered requirement for divorcing /divorced parents
    I purchased this book following a suggestion on a stepfamily related website.

    I've read a great number of books over the years for work, college, and pleasure but this book is by far the best I've ever read.

    This book should be a required read by family court judges, mediators, child daycare providers, child social workers, and teachers. It should also be a required read for parents in custody disputes or divorce litigation. It should be THE manual of parenting classes mandated by the family courts.

    Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex...more info
  • Hope for abused children and their true parent
    Thank you Dr. Warshak, you have given clarity to a mother's longing for help for her children with the abuse they suffer by their father. The corruption of reality section literally made me gasp as my children are told to ignore me when I use loving longterm nicknames as they are told I don't respect them. There is nothing about me and our relationship post-divorce that escapes denouncement by their father. While I am fortunate that my children have not been brainwashed into believing these terrible things, they suffer tremendous pain and frequently have panic attacks when transitioning to their father. I am less worried about my relationship with them than I am about their well being. If I could ask for some advice on how to help them when they are actually being abused, how to help them cope with it and not internalize it. While your advice is critical for dealing with the effects of the abuse, how to help them suffer through it when it is actually happening is something I request that you provide additional brilliant insight about.

    Thank you so much for all you do for victims of abuse and the hope you
    give to their parents.

    ...more info
    I thought I was reading our life story in Dr. Warshak's book!
    I am a step-mother to three children and have three children.
    I have found this book invalueable. We are a family where Alienation has permeated every aspect of our relationship's.
    My husband's children who once spent half of their lives with us - suddenly cut us off. There half-sibling's were also cut off, no warning.
    This book help's all memeber's of the family stop and think what role each of us play's in these situations. The book is also a great resource for extended family member's to understand how to properly react to alienation .
    I also think that all attorney's , judge's , mental health professional's and teacher's should be required to read Dr. Warshak's book....more info
  • This author has amazing insight into this problem
    I cried when I read this book. My kids have been alienated from me for 11 years by a vindictive ex. I have never felt so understood as I did after reading Dr. Warshak's book. It was like getting a big hug from someone who FINALLY understands all the subtlties of parental alienation. This should be required reading for every divorcing parent, law guardian, divorce lawyer, and judge. I'm amazed that he had this much insight into a problem that most people do not understand. I've recommended it to every friend whose children are alienated due to a vindictive ex....more info
  • Divorce Poison
    February 14, 2002

    There are few books that can claim to serve both the general public and professional/academic markets equally well. Dr Richard Warshak's,Divorce Poison is one of those. With many practical suggestions, the most important of which stresses the perils of doing nothing in the dealing with alienated children in the hope that time will make things better, Dr. Warshak, helps "target parents" counter "Divorce Poison" before it becomes lethal and often irreversible.
    However, the books easy readability, should not serve to mask its' place as the definitive work on dealing with "Divorce Poison". Dr. Warshak's thoroughness, in addressing the methods of delivering the venom, as well as the appropriate antidotes, will serve all professionals; psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, court appointed counselors, or anyone caught up in the horrible arena of custody battles.
    A must read for all parents with children going through a divorce, as well as the professionals who are relied on to help guide them.

    J. Dweck Tenafly NJ...more info

  • Stealing the Feeling

    There is public outrage that accompanies hearing about a child that has been abducted. What if the abduction is emotional? Psychological abduction is just as offensive and damaging. Dr. Warshak, in his book Divorce Poison,
    explains this poorly recognized form of child abuse. Dr. Warshak defines this insidious problem and offers strategies to protect your child's emotional attachment to you so that it doesn't end with the marriage.
    This book is required reading for anyone involved in a hostile divorce. READ IT!!...more info
  • Parents without cause
    The author makes a very important distinguishment in this text, parents who alienate their children with and without cause. There are definitely parents who alienate their children from another parent with just cause-abuse, rape, etc. There are also, as he points out, parents who do it to the detriment of their own children. It is important to know that the parent who feels alienated must do something because if not, they will lose their children forever and that is more telling, their inaction, than anything else....more info
  • Nice directions for dealing with custody problems
    I'm a child psychologist who deals with custody cases (among other things), and I found this book to be surprisingly good. Lots of helpful hints, solid advice, and down-to-earth directions. It also is helpful to lawyers, judges, and psychologists dealing with custody in the courts. While I would quibble with some aspects of the book, I found it on the whole to be very helpful, and have recommended it to some of my patients and colleagues....more info
  • Hits the mark!
    Wow! Incredibly insightful...

    Dr. Warshak comes at this subject from all angles! I have to say that I saw so many similarities to my situation that it was as if he was writing this book from my experiences, sadness, frustration and at times, horror of being the alienated parent. I'll also admit that I found myself being admonished for things (little mistakes) that I inadvertingly made in trying to solve issues. I have read and re-read ideas and suggestions that he presented. I have tried to make them habits in the last few months, trying to learn from all the craziness that has kept my life in a whirlwind of divorce and custody proceedings the last two years. Through some of the ideas presented in this book, I'm learning to think in a different, more productive way - for my own sanity and that of my children. I am hopeful that with this new way of thinking, I can overcome this horrible situation. So for that... thank you, Dr. Warshak.

    In my opinion, this is a great book for those who are struggling with finding answers on how to cope with divorce and alienation from your children. Good luck and Godspeed to all of you!
    ...more info
  • Excellent book on the topic
    I have worked extensively in this area of family therapy, and I strongly recommend this book to any parent with children who is going through a divorce> It is also a must read for family attorneys, judges and social workers. ...more info
  • The One Book on Divorce you Need to Read
    If you should read one book on divorce and the impact on children, this is the one!

    This outstanding book provides great advice for parents who are badmouthing other parents, as well as ways the target parents can combat this abuse. Unlike "experts" who have not researched the most effective ways of combatting this type of child abuse, Dr. Warshak has determined through studies that parents who do nothing and say nothing are at risk for eventually losing contact with their children.

    Dr. Warshak carefully navigates the misconception that alienation is typically a "woman thing" by citing examples of fathers who alienate. In doing this, the author is able to assure readers that the book is indeed written "in the best interests of children," and not for any gender-based political agenda.

    Dr. Warshak's outlook on children, parenting and custody is refreshing and should be required reading for every family court judge, every family law attorney and every person going through a divorce. The author argues very succinctly and very successful that the two parents who were so vital to the welfare and growth of the children during the marriage are just as vital after the divorce. He also illustrates how family courts and mental health experts remove children from the target parent at the first sign of alienation -- which is the exact opposite of what actually works in these cases.

    Dr. Warshak argues that target parents need time to rebuild this relationship -- to show that they are not the parent depicted in the diatribes of the parent who is attempting to alienate. Instead, courts typically accept irrational reasons from a child for not wanting to see a parent without examining the root causes for the alienation.

    Dr. Warshak carefully crafted a "how to" book for target parents, but, more importantly, he has helped all parents become better parents by encouraging them to examine their true motives for making negative statements about their former spouses. In doing so, this author has created a classic that must be read by anyone who truly cares about children and the impact that divorce has on them....more info

  • Parental Alienation is Terrible - Inaction Makes It Worse - Read this one!
    Parental warfare needs to stop. As a child custody attorney, I have said it a thousand times. As a custody battle survivor I have lived it too. Too often people simply complain and complain about all the terrible things the ex does to interfere with their parent-child relationships. An overall theme of Dr. Warshak's book is to TAKE ACTION. The difference between this book and say Alec Baldwin's, A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey through Fatherhood and Divorce, for example, is that it is completely solution oriented. Baldwin's book and the hundreds like it generally just point out how unfair the "system" and the participants of the "divorce industry" have been to them. While Baldwin's book is good, Divorce Poison addresses the best ways to help and protect the children of separation and divorce. Divorce Poison is well written and easy to follow. Almost right out of the gate the author goes into detail about some of the most common situations involving Bad-Mouthing, Bashing and Brainwashing. The chapter on alienated children is a real eye opener. This book covers it all,from the most subtle poison to the most toxic situations involving contrived abuse allegations.There are too many sick and distorted parents out there that ruin their children by dishonoring the child's other parent. In his chapter on "Poison Control" Warshak reminds us that sometimes love is not enough. Yes, you love your child, but that alone won't dilute divorce poison. This book gives the reader the ammunition to fight back. I thought so much of Divorce Poison that I referred to it in my new book, Stop Fighting Over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations. Stop Fighting Over The Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations (Mike Mastracci's Divorce Without Dishonor)...more info
  • For all divorcing parents
    This book is written for all divorcing parents, whether cooperative or not. Easy to read and enlightening. Embedded helpful suggestions. Uplifting and inspiring success stories. Helpful suggestions for parents, grandparents, relatives, friends, mental health professionals and attornies. Dr. Warshak's book gave us hope for a better future with our kids. Book includes descriptions of why and how children are alienated and how to fight this type of poison. It also describes levels of alienation. This book is a must read for all divorcing parents....more info
  • Good Help Dealing With a Manipulative Ex
    After reading this book, my only complaint was that it spoke to those with an income who can afford an attorney and one to several therapists. This may be okay for those with such an income, but for the rest of us, that option is not approachable.
    typically, it is the mother who is granted full legal and physical custody, and it is the father who is left to pay child support and medical expenses. Few of us fathers have the financial resources to hire a good attorney, let alone a therapist.

    The author does a good job of addressing the issue of alienation. Because visitation time is usually so limited, there is ample time for a vindictive ex, who spends the most amount of time with the children, to blatantly or subtly turn the children against the other parent. The author does a good job of giving the parent the skills to stop the process of alienation. This book is a must read....more info


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