Letting Go (Fifth Edition)

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Product Description

Letting Go is about what it feels like for parents when their kids go off to college. Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger provide a compassionate approach, practical information, and advice about the physical and emotional processes of letting go. They discuss the college-age child's search for identity, independence, and intimacy; give a succinct and accurate description of how college life has changed over the decades; and provide a year-by-year breakdown of what to expect. Plus, you can read about typical and not-so-typical problems including date rape, crime, eating disorders, drug and alcohol use, and sexual issues. Of special note is the focus on orientation and the freshman year, including the disorientation parents feel once the drop-off has been made.

For more than a decade Letting Go has provided hundreds of thousands of parents with valuable insights, information, comfort, and guidance throughout the emotional and social changes of their children's college years—from the senior year in high school through college graduation. Based on real-life experience and recommended by colleges and universities around the country, this indispensable book has been updated and revised, offering even more compassionate, practical, and up-to-the-minute information.

  • When should parents encourage independence?
  • When should they intervene?
  • What issues of identity and intimacy await students?
  • What are normal feelings of disorientation and loneliness for students—and for parents?
  • What is different about today's college environment?
  • What new concerns about safety, health and wellness, and stress will affect incoming classes?

Customer Reviews:

  • LETTING GO give insights and advice while it entertains.
    This book is a triumph of the help yourself/help your child genre. Ms Coburn and Ms Treeger write entertainingly and with obvious understanding of the psyches of the college students and the psyches of those left behind: their parents. They emphasize insightful statements with insightful anecdotes. I liked this book so much that I recommended it to a parent of elementary-school-age children. Her response was "This book is important to ALL parents of ANY age child - because the issues of letting go are universal to parenthood and to all ages. I feel like it is helping me right now." Whether you are feeling overwhelmed by the approach of your child's college years - or whether you feel experienced at the college game, I would recommend this book for everything from the "Aha-I recognize THAT situation" syndrome to genuine helpfulness to sheer entertainment. LETTING GO will be helpful to parents, to high school college counselors, and to college faculty and support staff. It is written with a common sense approach and in a literate style. It is a gem of a book....more info
  • Daughter
    I do not have an opinion for this book as I sent it to my daughter as a gift. She has a daughter who will be going to college in the fall. I thought this might help her with "empty nest" adjusting. ...more info
  • only child
    Loved the book, helped me understand my only child who is 18 and leaving for college this year. Could really relate, brought me to tears several times....more info
  • Helping you through
    I have not read all of "Letting Go" and (as I have been overwhelmed preparing to send my child to college myself) I have not had time to. But the book has been a source of hope and perspective during the difficult time that surrounds this process of separation. I have dipped into the book as needed-- literally reading 5-page snippets that dealt with a particular issue I was facing. Knowing, for instance, that "the goodbye" might not go as planned -- with tears and Kodak moments -- was enormously helpful when...the goodbye did not go as planned.

    The book was written with compassion and frankness for parents struggling with the difficulty of watching a beloved youngling launch off into a world of complexity and hard consequences. The book counsels parents on how to deal with kids when you catch them at their worst -- hung over at noon on a Sunday. It deals honestly with the fact that kids use college as a time to develop their sexual selves -- a process that involves a discomfiting amount of trial and error. The authors do not condone illicit behavior -- with sex, drugs or anything else -- but honestly observe that many young people test the rules by breaking them. I did it, you did it, they will do it -- whether right, wrong or otherwise.

    "Letting Go" helps parents to keep their heads on at a time when reverting to being rule-maker is both tempting and usually wrong. Whether read cover to cover or on an "as needed" basis between crises, this book is a quite helpful and may even make the college experience bearable and even enjoyable for everyone....more info
  • Not my favorite
    I was so trepidacious about sending my child off to college. And I work at a college! This book is great for parents that have not lived on a college campus-it explains in detail how students find things like health care and academic support, how dorm rooms are set up, and a bunch of details about what living on campus is all about and how to find support services. I did not think it was helpful in regards to dealing with the crazy stuff in my own head about how to send my child off to college with a smile on my face. Drop off day was tough-and there was not enough in the book to help me with that. From my own experience I knew how to get my kid to find an ID and her dorm, the two things she needed the most. For parents that have not lived on a college campus, you may find this helpful. For me, I am still trying to deal with the empty nest and how to be supportive from far away. If anyone can recommend a book for a single parent of a single child, I would love to check it out. The good news is my baby has been away for only 3 weeks, and we're both doing just fine (her more than me, but that's a good thing!) Getting used to the idea of this first step towards independence is hard-harder than anything else I have ever done as a parent. And I wish I knew how to prepare others for this-but it's like childbirth. No amount of reading can ever prepare you for this. ...more info
  • Great read for any parent
    This book has wonderful suggestions and great insight. A must for anyone wanting to help their child cope with their new environment without getting in the way. Skim the first chapter or so.I found it very helpful. ...more info
  • Letting go of your college child
    This book provides excellent reminders of what it is like to be young and heading off into the adult world. The stories resonate and there are so many examples you are sure to find you and your child can relate tofits your child's personality and great tips for learning to deal with your new adult child. It also provides you, as the parent, with reassurance that when your child seems to be changing it is usually normal and ok, and if not provides suggestions for ways to help your child that he/she is likely to accept. It is also a great book for the young person going off to college to read real thoughts, concerns and successes from other young people who have recently been in their shoes. Great book ...more info
  • Letting Go
    I found this book extremely helpful. It gave me valuable information but at the same time reinforced some of the feelings and experiences I was already going through so I didn't feel like I was all alone. I am sending my only child off to college this fall so letting go is going to be especially hard -- the only one in the "nest" is leaving! Although I have worked outside the home since my daughter was born, I foremost see myself as a Mom and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now that my primary responsibility will no longer be needed on a daily basis. This book helped me with some of those questions, although I know it will still be extremely tough. This book also gives perspective from the student's point of view and knowing what they are feeling and going through is a vital part of dealing with the changes and stages of letting go. I highly recommend this book. ...more info


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